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Posts Tagged ‘elvis’

The Sith wanted a graphic, so a graphic she shall have…

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I was on my way home tonight and stopped off in a neighboring town at a gas station where I’m a regular.

I got my 32 oz Red Bull™, some jerky, and an iced tea.  Iced tea is cheaper than water, did you know that?  Go figure.

I walked up to the cash register.  Cash Lady is a plain but amiable lady in her late 50’s.

Note:  To quote the great Dave Barry – I swear I am not making this up.

Me:  Howdy, Cash Lady.  You having a good evening?

Cash Lady:  Oh yes, fine, thanks.

Me:  I think that’ll be it for me – how much do I owe you?

Cash Lady:  That’ll be $7.31.

Me:  All right, here you go…

Cash Lady:  I have the next two days off.

Me:  Really?  I used to have Mondays and Tuesdays off.  It was nice because errands became much easier.

Cash Lady: (She hands me my money)  I suppose so.  I’m excited because I get to go see Elvis.

Me:  Beg pardon?

Cash Lady:  Yes, he’s going to do five shows over at the park and I’m going to see every one of them.

Me:  … … Uh. … … Elvis?

Cash Lady:  Yes, I’ve wanted to see him for years.

Note:  At this point, if she had reached under the counter to whip out a fresh harp seal and smacked me across the face with it I could not have been more surprised.  I was literally dumbstruck for a few moments.  I was lucky because I grasped for something to say and something was within reach – it’s one of those things that I store on one of my brain’s many shelves for just such an occasion – the occasions where nothing quite fits, like looking a Hallmark card that expresses “I’m sorry your stuffed cat got eaten by a giant rabid beaver”.

Me:  Yeah, I bet.  A lot of people say that.

Cash Lady:  I’m so excited.  I asked my boss for the time off and got it!

Me:  Well, ok, ma’am… well… have a good evening and enjoy The King.

Cash Lady:  Bye bye!

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