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Posts Tagged ‘feminine’

As part of the “Tools that Must not be Suffered to Live” theme, Curtal Friar has some awful duct tape on display.  To view it, it tears off little strips of my soul and leaves them stuck everyplace.

I forgot to ask him if they were real or p-shop.  I think I forgot.  If I didn’t forget I forgot that.

It’s been an awful day.  The kind of work day that makes you wish you could be killed in a 3-way collision with an elephant and a flaming blimp before you get back to work tomorrow.  The kind of day that makes you feel like you got gnawed on by sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads.

More on this post later tonight when I unwiiiiiiiiiind.

Here’s a cute Dino Egg thing my daughter got me as a boy’s present for Father’s Day.  It cracks out of it’s shell over a period of days.

Sweet, huh?  She picked good.

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I couldn’t resist… on Fark… Amish Sexter sends loads of explicit stuff to 12 year old girl, drives horse and buggy to Indiana for meeting, arrested and photographed.

You couldn’t make it up IF YOU TRIED.

Yoder’s contact with the [pre-menstrual minor] began with a random text sent to her phone. When the  parents learned of their daughter’s contact with Yoder, they took control of her phone and continued communicating with Yoder, who sent about 600 texts, as well as [unclothed] photos and [naughty] videos to the her.

Is dragging a perv to death behind a horse and buggy a legal punishment?

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Cruel Wife has sucked away all my time by asking about playsets for kids.   Sooooo, no relaxation for me and I’ll post another Fark link for your convenience:   Woman steals mink coat in her underwear.

Great Caesar’s Ghost!  How big do you have to be to steal a mink coat in your underwear???   This big, apparently.

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Ask me how I felt about the notion 24 hours ago…   Blue Oyster Cult’s Don’t Fear the Reaper was running through my head with great muchness recently.   I’d have said “Bring it on, just two more steps and I’m there, baby.”

So, four days later and 10 lbs lighter, I’m feeling sorta human again.  Food in any form still looks and smells like boiled skunk – which I’m sure is a dish originating in Great Britain.  But keeping juice down is a success.  I think I’m going to live.

If the world doesn’t kill me first!!! Chemicals, the unseen menaceseses, are stalking me, you, your children, your spouse… even your hamster!

From The Independent where girls are girls and men are… girls… and where the truth can be bent and sometimes broken…

Men are the Weaker Sex.

Apparently we’re all going to look pretty damn feminine, us guys.  We’re slowly meandering towards something like this:

michael_jackson_as-herself

I’m posting a snippet of their tripe.  Note the careful wording designed to strike fear into your heart’s cockles… (emphasis mine)

The male gender is in danger, with incalculable consequences for both humans and wildlife, startling scientific research from around the world reveals.

The research – to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published – shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people.

Did you hear the ominous organ music?  I swear, my bowels turned to water.  Uh.  Ok, strike that last sentence since it is redundant.  My knees knocked.   Gooses (as there are no ganders anymore, per this article) flocked en masse in search of graves to run over.

Truly have the seven vials been opened.  Some of them twice.  If only no one had sniffed.

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Stephen King has this wonderful way of writing characters that are so believable and colorful that they are not believable.  I recall one who was a gas station owner or attendant who whips out a hanky, blows his nose or horks into it, peeks, and pockets it again.

I mean, what the hell would you say to that if you saw it?

I figured that such characters and reality-tilting behavior existed only in the pages of a book.  Not so!

Last night I wander around the corner to the store (sick or not, the monkey on your back will beat on you) and when I walked in bitching about Global Warming and all the snow it’s bringing Michigan, the clerk looks up with this amazingly friendly vacant look and chirps:

And you shouldn’t get me started on the huge hole that isn’t going away in the OH-zOHNE!  How come no one talks about… (wah wah – wah wah wah…)

Now, I don’t believe in the ozone being an issue but she may even have valid personal arguments for the hysteria, but goofily putting emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle makes you look like a real dork.  EINSTEIN would have been laughed out of scientific circles if he’d said “I’d like to propose my new speciAHL theorY of relAHtiviY“.

Mocking and cynical today, ain’t I?  Oh well.

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UPDATE #1:

Man, this is pretty blatantly criminal – by now someone has to stand up and call bullsh*t, right?  Franken “finds” more votes.

UPDATE #2:

More proof that dogs dominate cats.  In what promises to be one of the biggest glurges of the year that is also true, we have a lost 3 year old boy saved by puppies.

I think they’ll be getting steak for a while.

A cat would have said either “Oooh, he’s shivering, if I put my ears under his hand it’ll be as good as a scritch”  -or- “well, if you don’t have my food, who does?  Outta here.”

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UPDATE #3:

Drudge put a link out for MyWay news… Will Recession Mean Toned-Down Inauguration?

Well, no, actually.  Rationalization reigns supreme amongst those with tin-ears.  I’m sure there’s a lot of people who are losing their homes while watching banks and investors get bailouts who are saying “I sure wish I could have some of that money so I’m not left w/o a roof over my head that I worked hard for…”

“We’re mindful of the fact that people in this country are hurting, that they’re going through hard times,” said Linda Douglass, spokeswoman for the Presidential Inaugural Committee. “On the other hand, we see this not just as a celebration of an election, but as a time for people to come together and celebrate their common values and shared aspirations and goals.”

For those folks, I’m sure their aspirations and goals are more in line with not losing their home and finding a job.  But those values aren’t common to everybody apparently.

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Update #4:
If you want to piss of your neighbors, build a sonic boom cannon.  PDF file:

2419-gadget_freak_case_131_build_instructions

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