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Posts Tagged ‘FOOD’

Blarg.

This post got nuked by my blog software (dammit).

I was able to screenshot it though.

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I had no idea that Vegans were so into eating their used condoms. Plus that hardly seems Vegan at that point, but if they want to eat certified Vegan used condoms rather than synthetics, more power to ’em, I guess.

Leave it to Vegans.

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Those French.

I was disgusted at this frenchman’s choice of white beans when a sensible portion of haricot verts with a shallot and almond butter makes more sense.

But white beans with Frenchman is just pedestrian and frankly, crude.

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I have seen two beheadings now and multiple executions by other means and I have to say beheading is one of my least favorite choices of how I would want to die personally, but if you run with the crowd that thinks this is cool stuff I am not too worked up if you die that way yourself. Getting beheaded by your own side when they mistake you as the enemy? Priceless.

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Society has something wrong with it. I am sure of it. When entertainment consists of targeting total strangers to see if you can sucker punch them into unconsciousness in one blow… You have issues.
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Obamacare is burdened by low income and higher risk people and requires the healthy and affluent to finance it. It is also dangerously close to tanking because it is not adequately funded. So we need more people to keep the premiums down!

Let’s add millions of illegal immigrants, because they will represent the biggest pool of healthy and wealthy people that will put more into the system than they take out.

Yeah, amnesty is key to making it work. Let’s see… What else? OH YEAH! I am pretty sure gun control, additional NSA funding, and more HomeSec bullets, armor, vehicles, crowd control, and facial recognition systems (drones go w/o saying) are also key to making Obamacare work.

From my BIL…

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Is this classy to make a giant flip-the-bird statue up and point it at your ex wife after you moved into the house next to your ex wife’s boyfriend?

No, but I still applaud him. The bitch.

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Hospitality of the Sith

We had a great trip to Texas on the train. It was long and mostly uneventful except for a transient and his dog on the tracks outside of Saint Louis. The food was excellent, with Cruel Wife opting for dead cow steaks and me gnawing on braised beef ribs.

We are now visiting the Sith(s).

Our kids enjoy the company of theirs and vice-versa. Mr. Sith (Mr. Aggie) and I see many things in a similar way and enjoy keeping our kids’ minds flexible.

Southern hospitality is a nice change from Detroit’s studied indifference. I could live in this area without a great deal of trouble.

The only truly disturbing thing was a grocery store mascot whose costume is that of a giant paper bag full of giant groceries that look wholly inedible. Truth be told the fake groceries look mildly nauseating. All three times I saw it I got the heebiedejeebies. As it passed me in the aisle it touched me (no, not in that way) and I creeped out a bit. But it scurried away after a short burst of harsh language and a swipe at its produce.

Hackerboy played video games and Lemurita learned from Aggie how to fold books into some kind of ornamental fan thing which completely captured her attention. Mr. Aggie took myself and Lemurita outside this evening and taught her how to catch geckos with some secret ninja-lizard-catching trick. She very nearly caught one but held several.

All in all their reputation for evil seems a bit misplaced but the week is not done yet. A Sith mind-choke-pinch thingy could come at any moment. For the moment I shall continue to sleep with one eye open.

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I managed to scarf two donuts and two Pączkis.  Someone mentioned that they wanted to see a picture of one.  So here you go…

What could be a Pączki, if I hadn't eaten them all.

I was on a Mission from God Tuesday morning to even find any at all.  The guy at Zingerman’s looked at me apologetically and said “You needed to reserve them ahead of time.  No reserved boxes, no Pączkis.”

“Can I reserve three boxes right now for pickup in ten minutes if I wait over there by the door?”

I tried in vain to look like a nice person but failed miserably.

“No.”

There was no hint of apology in his voice this time.

Damn.

So I frantically drove around looking for a place that could serve an honest Pączki. I skipped Kroger, didn’t have time to drive to Hamtramck, and when I stopped in Meijers with the cloying scent of defeat and shame  and asked the gal if they had any Pączkis, she looked at me and said…

What are Pączkis?

I struggled valiantly to suppress the twitches of various body parts and to not look disappointed.  I  must have failed in the attempt since the baker-ess took several steps back and was trying to reach for the phone. An elderly couple gasped and somebody whistled. A tumbleweed rolled by.

So I bought four large packages of chocolate donuts, donut holes, cinnamon rolls, and raspberry donuts to quell the whinging of my co-workers.  If you listen to them they will tell you that I was the one to start whining about pastries on Tuesday morning.  DO NOT LISTEN TO MY CO-WORKERS.  THEY LIE.  ALL OF THEM.

On the way back to work I asked Cruel Wife to please look at a nearby grocer to see if they had any. Thirty minutes later she called to report success. Yay!!!

I could only eat two. I was all proud of scarfing down two paczkis.

Curtail Friar put on a professional show of Fat Tuesday and I feel inadequate. It is fair to say that crammed inside each pastry is seventeen eggs, two quarts of whole milk, two sticks of butter, and nine cups of sugar but I still feel like an amateur.

Perhaps I was unfair to not post a real pic for you.  Here are the only two Pączkis known to be roaming in the wild in our house.  They alone survived the gauntlet.  I will turn them loose and perhaps there will be more roaming around next year.

The nimble Raspberry and Apple Pączki. The slower custard/creme ones did not have a chance.

On the kid front… there’s some improvement but still a great deal of concern on our parts.

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Utah.  Where a kid needs to get permission from a parent for each and every tanning session but only notification (if possible) given to the parent before a teen gets an abortion.

Wow.  It’s good to make sure your kids are safe from harmful UV radiation and it’s also good to have unimpeded ability for your children to kill their children.

Santorum may have said something politically stupid when he talked of “Satan Attacking America” but he probably did the right thing by saying it anyway.

Regardless of your stance on abortion (and I’m going on record as opposing it, vehemently) you have to admit that not requiring parental consent is taking too much of being a parent away from the parents.

Let’s put it this way – teens gets to exercise their options in being a parent but the teen’s parents do not?

Seriously?  And yet we’re concerned here with excessive tanning sessions?

That is all.

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We were at The Dude and Crazy Cat Lady’s Cat ranch for the Xth annual bonfire and Roman Food Orgy.

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We ate more than was healthy, and then we ate more than was safe or reasonable.

I am STILL waddling.

Here is how my plate went down…

BBQ pork (shredded), bulkogi beef, corn chips, cheese-distillated (fractionated) product, synthetic onion-flavored sour-cream dip, spaghetti, horseradish, seconds on bulkogi beef, two chocolate-chip cookies, two slices of pumpkin bread, two halloween-style sugar cookies, and a bottle of tonic water.

Lots of kids were there and a number of friends, too. The Dude, ID10T-Killer, Black Lab on Crank, and Tenacious Bulldog.

Prometheus brought fire, too, I guess.

After test driving my iPad briefly (only three hours after I used it 10 minutes following the three hour setup), I heard Cruel Wife go “OOOOOOH” and at that point I knew we were going to go buy her one as well.

I can see how we’ll get our money’s worth already. They keep the kids quiet on car trips – using Angry Birds. I can see how Cut the Rope will be a useful tool as well.

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Update:

You know you’re old when you finally – after hours of searching – find the old CBS station bumper music and it takes you back to the early/mid 70’s.  And you think of Bill Bixby in The Incredible Hulk (Friday nights) and how James Garner in The Rockford Files (Saturday nights, I think) was pretty darned entertaining and all that…

To a kid that sound was kind of mournful/spooky.

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Cruel Wife passed on this link.  It’s what I need.  Like burning.

In order to convince you to run over there and buy a dozen of them, here is the appetizer.

 

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Gasptronomique.

That’s the new word…  Gasptronomique.

Gasptronomique Adj.  Pertaining to all foods that can theoretically be eaten but never should have been invented, being disgusting enough to make maggots throw up in their mouths repeatedly.  From Middle-Earth gaspen, meaning “sharp intake of breath” and -tronomique, meaning “bad enough to make maggots throw up in their mouths repeatedly”.

A fine example is the food Surströmming.  Or Hákarl.

Makes Lutefisk seem like a perfectly executed Salade Niçoise.

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