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Posts Tagged ‘God’

Update:  Since the original post was about the nature of God, let’s have another bit of humor.  Yes, it’s on yoootoob (associated with g00glle) but just this once…  it’s an important public safety announcement.

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An Observant Reader, ooGcM taobmaetS, recently passed on to me via dead drops, mute couriers, and randomized routes a picture that is so momentous, so blockbuster, so all-consuming, that it is a wonder that space-time hasn’t grown thinner in spots and perhaps even started to crumble like old cheese in others.

It was regarding the nature of God.


I must do some fearless sock-searching, perhaps take an inventory of my drawers, and get right with my wardrobe.

I have asked taobmaetS ooGcM if he has considered being a High Priest of the Ordered Drawer of the Holey Sock.

He chuckled and shook his head modestly and said:

Lemur, I know you worship the very ground I walk on (shame on you).  But you also know I’m too humble to think of elevating myself to a position of such awesome responsibility.  I am just a simple man, with simple needs, and a cat named Brrrt, who needs me to feed him smoked gouda and free him from trees from time to time.  No, that is my calling in life.  And baiting goths and trolling Trolls.  And ****ing with people that need ****ing with.  Yes, that’s the life for me, my friend.  That’s the life for me and that’s my calling.  Leave the rest of that to better men than I. –  taobmaetS ooGcM, explaining why he could not take up the mantle of the Holey Sock priesthood. 

Note:  I am a God-fearing Protestant and not some rabid atheist.  I just believe that God also has a sense of humor.  Look at the world around you and you have many examples of this.

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If ever you needed more reason to pack your own kid’s lunches, may I suggest that this is it?  This is what your government will do to feed your little snowflakes.  This is stuff that they won’t even put in hotdogs because it is last-choice animal product.  The only thing that comes lower than this stuff is actual excrement, earwax, the solids from bile, and pulmonary tumors.

USDA Buys 7 Million Pounds of Slime for School Lunches

Here’s what should really disturb you:

Pink slime is a mixture of leftover trimmings, sinew, and other beef parts culled from a cow once the expensive and more recognizable cuts of meat have been harvested and sent to a butcher. The collection of leftovers is spun in a centrifuge to remove excess fat, washed in a disinfecting solution and then minced for use in various applications.

Pink slime is allowed to make up as much as 15% of the ground beef you might be purchasing at from your local grocery store. And according to some industry experts, the concoction may be in as much as 70% of the ground beef found in America.  – Mike Opelka, The Blaze

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It was supposed to be a slam dunk.  Float in using god-like powers, turn on the god-like charisma, and give a god-like speech… and the rabble would flock to his benevolent god-like loins.

Oopsie, guess not.

Stole the graphic shamelessly from Soylent Green – read more about it there.

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I am not supporting domestic violence, but there is such thing as freak accident.  What if he had tripped and his hand hit her there?  Three years in jail seems a tad excessive since by no means could you reasonably expect to kill someone with a remote nor would you ever have reason to believe that it might even be possible.

Paul Harvey, 46, killed Gloria Laguna by a fluke chance after the remote struck her on a weak artery near her neck.

The 48-year-old died from a massive brain hemorrhage as Harvey tried to give her the kiss of life.

Harvey, an electrical engineer of Euston, central London, pleaded guilty to manslaughter in March.

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It’s late and it’s a “school night” (just got done finishing work, of all things), so I’m not going to belabor this much by adding bells and whistles to the story here.

This guy deserves to be dead, as this sort of thing would kill you 999 times out of 1000. But hey, miracles can and do occur.

G’night.

-LK

Snowmobiler Rescued After Falling into Crater of Mt. St. Helens.

05:17 PM PDT on Sunday, April 13, 2008

By ADRIANE HORNER and FRANK MUNGEAM, Kgw.com Staff A man was evacuated by helicopter after falling into the crater of Mt. St. Helens while snowmobiling on the mountain Saturday.

John Slemp, 52, of Damascus rode his snowmobile along with two others to the west rim of the crater at Mt. St. Helens.

Slemp got off his snowmobile and walked out onto a cornice overhanging the crater when it gave way, according to police.

Slemp reportedly fell about 1300 feet before landing on the interior slope of the crater. He then slid on hands and knees to the bottom of the crater.

Slemp was taken to Yacolt, Washington to receive medical care and then transferred to to Legacy Emanuel Hospital in Portland where he was listed in fair condition.

The call for help came around 5:30 p.m. Saturday afternoon. Rescue crews from the Skamania County Sheriff’s office and the Clark County Volcano Rescue Team responded to the call from a man who reported his friend had fallen inside the crater of Mt. St. Helens.

The man’s friend used a two-way radio to call for help. The signal was picked up by a man in Mossy Rock who then contacted 9-1-1 for help.

Original Story here: Man Falls into Mt. St. Helens

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