Posts Tagged ‘Hello Kitty’

The Holy Grail.


The Dude sent me a link to this.  You see he and I love Pulp Fiction.  It’s pathetic really, but there it is.  Cruel Wife isn’t so hot on Pulp Fiction but she says she can appreciate parts of it – can’t wait to see what she thinks of the Broadway Musical version of it.

(And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers)

So here is a remix for Pulp Fiction…


Update #2:  Very VERY good reason to hope that Barney Frank is removed from office soon.  Him and all of his ilk.

'We Are Trying On Every Front To Increase The Role Of Government'...


If you haven’t read the reviews on Amazon (dot com) for the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket by Wattgate, you should drop whatever you are doing and do so now.  Amazing testimonials, all.

A review read thusly:

Yesterday the hospital called me. My grandmother had had a car accident, and was in surgery. I rushed there, and a nurse friend of mine (bow-chicka-wow-wow) got me into an observation room off the OR. I watched my grandmother’s heartrate flatline. The crash cart rushed over, and instead of a defibrillator there was a Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket and a screwdriver. I watched, still in shock as they placed the screwdriver into my dying grandmother’s hand, and carefully guided her hand to the socket and had her insert the screwdriver into the socket.
Immediately, there was a bright flash, and my grandmother jumped up on the operating table and started singing the most beautiful opera I have ever heard. I think it was Carmen. Whatever it was, it brought tears to my eyes. And the socket wasn’t even wired to any other electrical system!
My grandmother has completely recovered, and a major label just signed her new punk-rock band. She no longer drinks or smokes either! And I owe it all to the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket.
Thank you so much Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket!!!

P.S. I now carry a Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket and a screwdriver with me at all times, in case of emergencies. I will never be without one again.  – Paul Johnson, Minnesota

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SixMeatBuffet (Cranky) was kind enough to post some work of mine and as I thought about it, I figured I’d erect a flame-shield now rather than later. This graphic is my response to what Rush Limbaugh refers to as “FemiNazis”.  I’ve asked my wife, Cruel Wife, what she thinks of these individuals, and her answer led me to believe that this response is admissible.  The individuals that this is meant to irritate are generally those women who are so militantly Feminist (with a capital “F”) that they treat men displaying chivalrous qualities as dirt, often responding with harsh words and vitriol.

I can give you an example.  I once held a door for a woman who made it a point to tell me that she did not need a door held for her and that I was a jerk for assuming that she was not capable.   My FIRST response was to have her stand in a spot through which I could slam the door.  But, being brought up better than that, I did not.  I thought about it though.  So there.

So anyway, I’d seen a bumper sticker with those words:

So you’re a Feminist.  Isn’t that cute?

… and thought:  “Oh how obnoxious!”   But I felt that just the words by themselves didn’t go far enough, that perhaps something more could be done.  So with a little work and some input from Cruel Wife, I was able to put together a graphic that had her laughing hard and out loud. She suggested the little heart and the Pretty Pony.  I figured Hello Kitty™ was de rigueur but was looking for that something extra… almost but not quite the complete essence.  She really wanted me to put a Barbie Doll™ on it, too, but I felt that when shrunk down to banner/badge size on a website that too many of BD’s fine features would be lost. Cruel Wife is one of those women that believes that you can be a feminist without ceasing to be a woman. I don’t care.  As long as y’all stay at home and bake cookies, it’s fine with me.

Note: If the wife thought for one second that I meant that last line, I’d be dead… you hear me?  Dead. So don’t go gettin’ your panties in a wad because it was meant in jest.

Then again, Cruel Wife has a sense of humor beyond that of most broads.

When she was pregnant with our first child I would “moo” at her, and by the end of the pregnancy she would run into something and knock it over and go “Moooooooo” herself.  Sometime around that same time, she was lying on the bed taking a load off her lower back and I ran into the room, spritzed her with a spray bottle, and screamed “Keep her wet until we can get her back into the water!!!” And, you must note, I am still alive.  Again, if she thought for a second that I meant it in a mean way or wasn’t completely joking to lighten the mood, I’d be buried six feet under.  She is an pretty good shot with a .357 Mag.  Getting 5 of 6 shots in a 4″ circle at 50 feet good enough for me.


Ok, if you maddened half-crazed irritated and angry women have kept up with me so far and are still torqued, I’m posturing for dramatic comedic effect.  I am not a misanthrope.  I’m an a**hole but not a misanthrope.  I’ll throw you something to take your mind off of your anger.  Look at these awesome carved eggs

Geez, and you thought Mad Cow Disease meant bovines… not PMS or generally irritable females.

Note: Again, these are all things I joke about with my wife and she has not killed me yet.   So relax, eh?  I’m just in an ornery mood and having fun with it.  Remember, SHE READS MY BLOG.

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DPUD (Double Plus Undead) has a blog entry titled One Zombie That Needs to be Put Down Now. The post deals with additional efforts to enact Assault Weapon Bans, and I believe that bans of any weapon is a slippery slope. The ridiculous thing is that fully automatic weapons are illegal. These *look* like full autos so they are illegal. Nevermind the fact that someone who is good with a Ruger .22 can do an incredible amount of damage and they aren’t “assault weapons”. It’s politician hysteria. Again.

Obviously RPG’s, grenades, mortars, etc. should be strictly enforced since any one of these clearly is not require for home defense. Maybe the grenade but that’s another post. Besides, any person with rudimentary chemistry skills (ok, perhaps moderate) would be able to make things that go boom. Simply put though, we live in a civilized society that doesn’t seem to have these issues, unlike many third-world oil rich countries in the Middle East.

The comments in DPUD’s blog entry led to the idea of pink weapons, and that jogged me mind.

Hello Kitty AR-15Evil Black Rifle Meets Cute and Cuddly. These aren’t my pictures but I wanted to show them off his site so you’ll go to his site and enjoy the rest of his stuff.

This is a real weapon, made of real parts, and the owner shows it being fired on his blog page. I firmly believe that nothing exudes feminine beauty and love for the unannounced guest quite like a perforated liver created by a pink semiautomatic.

To be entirely sexist because I like tweaking… uh, body parts… I ask: Should those who suffer Mad Cow Disease once a month (aka PMS) be allowed to have weapons? (Yes, I know my wife reads this blog, and she goes under the moniker “Cruel Wife” – I need to gin up an avatar for her… some kind of poisonous but cute frog)


Quick question… I have recipes that I could be sharing on this blog. They include but are not restricted to:

  1. Crisp chili-beef with Orange Rind and Szechuan Peppercorns (chinese)
  2. Pad Krapow (thai)
  3. Chap Chae (korean noodle salad)
  4. Yam Taeng Kwa (thai cucumber/peanut/chilies salad)
  5. Pork and Shrimp with Basil, includes crab-chili paste (thai)

Any interest at all?


Teachers are way too liberal and it’s affecting the kids. I think it shows in the political climate. They get into this liberal mindset of “I’ve got to add social engineering to my job description because I know what is right and obviously the parents cannot do so” and end up losing all touch with reality. Like so.

But then again, it’s pretty obviously a rigorous science class if they determine these things based on a questionnaire by the kids about other kids. Perhaps I’m wrong.

If you didn’t catch the sarcasm there, I’m pointing it out now.

Ooh! Another one… teacher forces 3rd grader to clean out toilet with bare hands!


Hillary: Gutsy, obsessed, or just stupid? Let’s pray it’s all three and she causes a huge amount of animosity by the time the DNC convention comes around. Another way to put it: “Visualize the DNC with a DNR.”

Here’s how I think of Hillary about now:


Still studying those elusive things that make Art Deco actually Art Deco. It’s been fun. Click on the image for the current state of this work in progress. It is not how I want it yet, but it’s all I’m going to do tonight.

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