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Posts Tagged ‘hyperventilate’

The title I saw today read:

WHO says confirmed flu cases total 331, 10 deaths...

Now I ask you… does that sound like a pandemic?  Out of SIX BILLION people 331 sick and 10 dead are 0.00000055167% and 0.000000167% respectively.

head_in_ass

Try to avoid this.

Or  in the whole world,  1 in  18,126,888 and  1 in 600,000,000 … a logical person will stop and say that it is more important to look at the number of sick people and the number of dead people.  Okay.  So 3% of those people died.  In one country – not counting the child in the US.  I’d take those odds over the first seven entries in the list below.

People expect to win the lottery – what’s that… 1 in 42,000,000?

panic attack

Total number of deaths from various things here in the good ol’ US of A:

Cause of Death Lifetime Odds
Heart Disease 1-in-5
Cancer 1-in-7
Stroke 1-in-23
Accidental Injury 1-in-36
Motor Vehicle Accident* 1-in-100
Intentional Self-harm (suicide) 1-in-121
Falling Down 1-in-246
Assault by Firearm 1-in-325
Fire or Smoke 1-in-1,116
Natural Forces (heat, cold, storms, quakes, etc.) 1-in-3,357
Electrocution* 1-in-5,000
Drowning 1-in-8,942
Air Travel Accident* 1-in-20,000
Flood* (included also in Natural Forces above) 1-in-30,000
Legal Execution 1-in-58,618
Tornado* (included also in Natural Forces above) 1-in-60,000
Lightning Strike (included also in Natural Forces above) 1-in-83,930
Snake, Bee or other Venomous Bite or Sting* 1-in-100,000
Earthquake (included also in Natural Forces above) 1-in-131,890
Dog Attack 1-in-147,717
Asteroid Impact* 1-in-500,000
Tsunami* 1-in-500,000
Fireworks Discharge 1-in-615,488

* Long-term data – tabularized data from LiveScience

Got that? Here in the US you are MORE LIKELY to die of dog attacks,  earthquakes, lightning, tornadoes, etc.  So far it has been 1 in 350,000,000.

Its a non-issue.

anxiety

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Well, never let it be said that muslim countries were without the ability to be really really stupid at times.  Killing the boars in the ZOO to stop the flu?   What are these people using for brains?

Iraq will kill three wild boars in Baghdad Zoo to ward off the new flu sweeping the globe…

… It is also possible the disease could be spread by eating pork, so we banned hunting wild boars…

Well send the damn critters here and we’ll eat them, then.  Jeez, you idiots.

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Is there a name for the phenomenon where idiots think they’ve seen God, the Virgin Mary, and Jesus in toasted cheese sandwiches, grilles, french toast, etc?

Mary in a grill.

Again:

head_in_ass

Pull your head out.

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Spammers are getting more and more creative.

Apparently I sent myself a e:mails with the subjects:

  • Goddammit, reply now!      (violent schizoid behavior)
  • Wondering where is your ass.  (I understand… some days I get to work and a half hour later is a knocking at the door and it is my ass dragging in)
  • Madonna caught swine flu    (don’t tease me)
  • Don’t make me come, answer  (yeah, goddamit)
  • Let’s talk   (I would never say this)
  • Photo:  Hermione’s casino flash   (sounds interesting but I don’t know any Hermione)
  • Msg me  (already done – I eat oriental food daily)

I also get lots of e:mail from my co-workers:

  • my boss:   About your small member   (he must be thinking of the guy in the office two doors down)
  • The Dude:   70% off on Pfizer  (odd since he usually sells to me directly…)
  • a program manager:  Amy wants sex now  (how can I help?)
  • an admin bigwig:  Just a quickie   (thanks for the thought but –  no)
  • another manager:   Invicta watches now!  (I break watches so I don’t own them)
  • the vp:   Let me be your bitch  (I think you mean the other way around…)

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