Posts Tagged ‘jail’

Hello Constant Reader (you know your name)… it is time for another installment (the first, actually) of “You put WHAT WHERE?”

Rectally-smuggled contraband included:

… a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana.

That was just one person.  I am not making this up.  Only in the state where I lived for five years could this happen.  In Wenatchee, WA to be exact.

[Phil Stanley, jail administrator] said no contraband was found on a pat-down search or on a later strip search. About 90 minutes later … a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet. After being questioned by jailers, the man surrendered the contraband.

After being questioned by jailers… the man surrendered the contraband.

Whatever they are getting, the jailers aren’t getting paid enough.

The man was serving a three-day sentence.

The news article is titled:

Cheeky inmate overpacked for jail stay

I’m trying to picture it:  “So stick that up your ass and smoke it.”

I don’t want to picture it.

Thanks go to alert co-worker The Butcher of Lansing.


So Franken-boy graduated preschool today.  They asked each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Cruel Wife said he was the only one to answer “A daddy”.

Now, that means there’s three scenarios:  (a) he’s got a line on a hot babe already and thinking ahead, (b) “daddy” to him means total authority and the chance to make people miserable, or (c) he likes and respects his dear old dad.

Option (c) is highly unlikely-unless- I am not his dad.


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