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Posts Tagged ‘jumbled news’

You could be spam-bombed like myself today.  In the 30’s and counting in the last 20 minutes.  Bills, undeliverables, and viruses – oh my!  You’d think that maybe perhaps they’d think “Hey, if we send him a clogged colon’s worth of badly speled and grammar horible emales… maybe he might get suspicious”… but no, they just keep a-sending them out there, presumably because my IQ drops over the course of the day and I’ll slip up and open one or answer one.

Note:  “clogged colon”… see McGoo, everything does ultimately reduce to the ol’ poop chute in the final analysis.  Your axiom is correct.

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You could be in a bad spot that coulda been worse, like on a sudden-drop plane. Qantas Passengers Suffer Broken Bones During In-Flight Altitude Drop, Emergency Landing.

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Or, you could just be grateful for the escapism represented by a game you pre-ordered (like myself)… Far Cry 2 for example.

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You could be related to an asshole like this guy, who saw bad finances to be the perfect reason for killing himself and his entire family.

Oh yeah, that’s honorable, you creep.

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You could be one of us non-baby-boomer taxpayers who not only have our own portfolio hit, but will soon have to foot the bill for so many others at retirement age.  Down $2 Trillion dollars.  Nice.

More than half the people surveyed in a recent Associated Press-GfK poll said they worry that they will have to work longer because the value of their retirement savings has declined.

Well, the way I see it, my retirement plan at this rate will be… death.  I will get to retire when I’m dead, to pay everyone else off for their damned sob stories on top of my own.  Such is the price of life in a quasi-socialist state that can’t even do that correctly.

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You could read this and have an aneurysm.

Lehman’s Fuld: Where was our bailout?

I want to chew nails when I read some pinhead like this whine about not getting a bailout.  How about the thousands and thousands of small businesses that have and will fail because they can’t get a line of credit to do daily business?

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But there is JUSTICE in the world.  Not complete justice, but when the Ex-CEO of Lehman Brothers is attacked and knocked out cold on a gym treadmill, you have to smile.

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Or you could read this…

I’m not even going to comment on this other than to say “Tell me what YOU don’t like about anything in this article.”

Pressured to Take More Risk, Fannie Reached Tipping Point

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You could be frightened.  Damn, if this is “lifelike”… I don’t want to see the failed attempts.  With all due respect to families of deceased everywhere, I think they could take some lessons from morticians, who by and large do a damn good job.

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Did you know that race is a factor in this election?  Emphasis mine…

Marian Wright Edelman, President and founder, Children’s Defense Fund:

In a high-stakes election like this I think we’re going to see many intense discussions among the campaigns about a number of issues. The fact that Barack Obama is now the Democratic party nominee for President of the U.S. demonstrates how far our country has come in terms of race. But, despite great progress over the past forty years since Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s death, peril still remains to snuff out the hopes and dreams and lives of millions of children

Got that?  If he wins, it’s progress, if he loses it’s snuffing hopes and dreams and lives of millions of children.  So **** yeah, race is a factor.  Cripes.

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You could be self-righteous (righteously so) and wonder why these questions aren’t asked of reporters.

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