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Posts Tagged ‘kimchi’

(The Home-made kimchi part of the post is a bit lower down, just after the paparazzi stuff…)

Why, there’s just nothing better than fresh paparazzo blood on the beach. It does my heart good to see this. In fact, I’d like to see more people go out of their way to smack a pap more often. These vermin are nothing more than stalkers and are given a pass because it’s “free speech”. My ass. Harassing people day and night is not free speech. It’s called being an ass, even if it is a bunch of actors getting abused.

Around 12 photographers were on the beach in Malibu this afternoon trying to get shots of Matty hitting the surf, when an all-out smackdown was laid on the pappers by turf-protecting surfers.

One pap was hit in the face and we’re told suffered a broken nose, while another was thrown into some rocks and had his camera smashed. McConaughey was not involved in the ruckus.

Police tell us a battery report was filed by one photographer and no arrests have been made.

Cops: Can you describe the perpetrator?
PaparASSi: Uh yeah, he was wearing a black neoprene johnny suit, had blonde hair, and he was really tanned. And he kept saying “Let me hit him again, dude.”
Cop: (puts away notepad) Well, we’ll get right on this and get back to you. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Update: More details on this celebrated event…

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Made some kimchi tonight. A word to the wise…

  1. You are working with salt, lots of it
  2. You will be washing your hands, a lot
  3. You will be working with a bit of vinegar, by itself no biggie, but it adds up with the rest
  4. You will be using ground korean red pepper, a hell of a lot
  5. Your hands will hate you

Now, I thought I was tough. I work in an office but I got callouses on my callouses. I work in the garden w/o gloves, when I am physically able (read: not this last 18 months) I lift weights w/o them. I handle hot skillets and corningware without mitts.

Callouses will not help you. Got that? Your hands will burn as if you got caustic grout on your mitts. You cannot handle 3 cups worth of ground dried red pepper and not feel it later. Especially the webbing betwixt your fingers.

Use gloves if you can get them. I’m sure a lot of koreans down through the centuries have said much the same thing and then determined that nevermore would they make a load of kimchi without latex gloves. Powder-free latex gloves, of course.

Wash the bejeezus out of your hands afterwards if you don’t have gloves. Trust me, your nether regions, eyes, ears, and face will appreciate it. Your girlfriend will appreciate it. Perhaps your wife, too.

Use cutting boards and utensils that are still just fine if they are cherry red. The red pepper in kimchi will stain everything an off-red forever. More permanent than permanent marker is this stain. The wooden spoon I used for pushing the kimchi down into the jars with… it’s fire-engine red. Washing is pointless.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my hands are starting to swell a bit or maybe it is just the skin is getting tight, but my fingers look taut and shiny, and feel tender – I’m off for the night. 🙂

Kimchi recipe and information may be found on this page – be patient, it is there…

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