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Posts Tagged ‘knives’

You know my love of knives.  For some reason this one just appeals to me.  Go buy one.

horseshoe_knife_by_logan_pearce_by_night_everclear-d4tufy5

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Just a statement of fact, no links – I’m seeing this new Pope and I think I like the guy.  I’m not Catholic but I still have a lot of respect for the Pope.  When he can stand up at the Vatican and say “May God forgive you for what you have done” after being chosen, there is a guy who knows nuance, has a sense of humor, and oh-so-subtly set the tone of what he will and will not call “bullshit” on during his time here as Pope.  I also think he’s going to give the commander of the Swiss Guard ulcers from worry.

An old joke – no idea where it came from:

“I wouldn’t mind being a cardinal.  I definitely wouldn’t want to be the Pope though.  I’m not a papal person.”

Somehow listening to “The Smoking Popes” do their number “The Pope Smokes Dope” when we have a Pope with only one lung won’t be the same. (go look it up on Youtube – I need to go to bed – they’re punkers)

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The Urean Terrorists have struck an elevator in the Long Island Rail Road station.  Looks like the damage was pretty bad.  Apparently if you have enough home-grown terrorists who drank shitty wine drop trou in the elevator and whiz until their bladder is empty enough times you can destroy the floor and the works of the elevator down below.  As in “may be totalled”.

Is it really so hard to put a liquid sensor in there that locks the elevator (or electrocutes the sonofabitch) just as soon as the floor gets moist?  Then have it autodial the cops and the meat wagon to come get the trash out of the elevator.

Come on… someone  had to have noticed that it smelled like the cleaning closet at a sorority house during Greek Week.  Get enough people involved it is actually worse than cat piss.

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We need a pic from Cruel Wife to liven this post up in a nice way – like putting up curtains or something.  A Glasswing Butterfly.  She won’t let me put up pictures of Milla, Hendricks, or Theron, so we’ll be stuck with dragonlizardthings, chameleons, butterflies, and snowflakes. All of them are perfectly geared to the male psyche.

Glasswing Butterfly

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Like a bad rash that won’t go away, Obama was melancholy that the Evil Sequestration Perpetrated by the Republicans have forced him and the missus to move mee-maw out of the White House.  Yep, they packed up a U-Haul truck and drove her off to a slum somewhere, may a pox rot the Republican’s eyes.

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I notice the enraged rioters complaining about a teen carrying a gun who was fatally shot.  One article says two shots were in the back and three shots in the front.  You could automatically call it that the dirty cops shot him in the back and he turned to them in a plea for his life and they shot him again as he tried to show his weapon.  You could also say that he was facing them, told them he had a gun, and made a dumb move that got him shot three times, spun around and shot twice more.  Shot in the back sounds emotional as hell but did those shots come first or last?

As veeshir noted, the kid supposedly was going to turn in the gun in between church service and volunteering at a soup kitchen.  Go see just how bad veeshir’s case of Oyster Herpes is.  I heard from him that it hurts like hell and makes your junk all scaly and dry.  Actually, he is to be commended for an awesome McGoo-Style headline that was actually supported by the linkage in the post.

Fact is, the kid was packing on the street.  Smartest move would have been to stand really still and follow the police’s directions to the letter.

What I’m not getting is why rioters are destroying local businesses.  This seems like a pretty silly way to treat your friends when it was someone else who pissed you off.  What it smacks of is thugs living in their own little “we good, everyone else bad, cops should all die” club.  It has the feel of Detroiters and Chicagoans drowning and choking in their own shit.

Witness accounts seem to be evolving from cop interviews “couldn’t see much” to reporter interviews “he didn’t have a gun in his hand”.

But City Councilman Jumaane Williams, a frequent NYPD critic, blasted outsiders who he said escalated tensions. “Please stay the HELL out of our community will only agitate our kids,” Williams fumed on Twitter. “It’s dangerous and counterproductive.”

Sorry, but police kind of have this job description that says swaths of the city cannot become lawless islands filled with gun-totin’ juveniles.  Your kids need to agitate a bit less and quit going through life thinking that it’s all about them.
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Ok, more Cruel Wife decorations.  Think doilies on the arms of chairs and lace coffee coaster things.
This is just like that except it is fagile, crystalline water at reasonably high pressure (for an SEM) and probably pretty damn cold.
SEM Snowflake
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Apparently the last of the little tinglies have run back down Chris Matthew’s leg (that’s called urine, Chris… Jesus, get a grip, man, you’re pissing yourself).  For a guy who lived through the budget issues in the 90’s he is sure doing a good job of painting the coming of the Four Horsemen.

Matthews: “How does Barack Obama escape this frightening axe coming down sharply and brutally on his presidency? How does he avoid personal harm when the country rises up in anger? When the army and naval bases stop writing checks? When people stop shopping because they don’t have salaries? When the airports seize up because the air traffic controllers are cut? When the bitching and yelping reach up to the White House gates themselves? What will we do when the government itself shuts down because Congress won’t authorize another nickel in spending?

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Have another gratuitous evil demon-kitty pic.  She still does this and leaps, delivering silent death from above.

treedcat

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The sequester is not the end of the world – I repeat NOT the end of the world.  But you have concerned commenters who feel that it is, and not only that they can’t get a lot right.

Terrylee

March 14th, 2013
2:31 pm

Okay…….what hold does Obama have on you jerks,,,we know Rogers was blackmailed for something he did not want made public…look you are suppose to defend the constitution and Nothing else…we donot want your personal opinions, period. Donot belittle your position anymore than you already have…we must cut the budget and we must do more to cut the budget that will effect everyone. The country is about to undergo the worst possible change ever, we are about to lose the us reserve currency in the world, the IMF and many other countries are about to drop the USA dollar as the reserve currency..which means our dollare will be worth Nothing. The feds keep printing money to give to banks to stop them from raising interest rates…the government(Obama) is trying to Nationalize all retirement plans..401ks..IRAs etc… so they can steal all 15 trillion dollars of Americans retirement plans…we are about to lose our place in the world and all money in banks will be lost and your worried about :What”……….A new unified currency is planned in world meetings right now to replace the dollar……we have serious problems facing this nation. You are now owned by Obama……we no longer have faith in our system of justice.

Count the errors.  It’s fun.

Common Sense below, is bereft of it.

Common Sense

March 14th, 2013
2:27 pm

Good. Trim everything but military and fire 98% of govt workers including the Supreme Court. If they can’t survive with the money they get, trim all the friviolous cases they embrace that gives them an excuse to ask for more tax dollars. Cut the purse strings and sever the head of the snake.

That’s great – get rid of one of the three pillars of government and throw a pile of checks and balances into the incinerator.  Good thinking – and end up with an even less fiscally responsible God-King and Parliament for Life.

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Pre-Daddy Days

“Pre-Daddy Days” means “Before Father’s Day”.

A terrific Event happened tonight.  It was like Father’s Day came a few days early.

Lemurita is plagued with insomnia like I am.  She got up a half hour ago and came into the kitchen where Cruel Wife and I were talking about meeting up with Spaced Diode tomorrow for a BBQ.

Earlier in the evening I ran across CW’s throwing knives tucked into a hidey spot and also went and gathered up mine.

I asked CW if it would be ok to mention them to Lemurita and she said yes.

So I said “Lemurita, would you like to learn how to throw knives at Spaced Diode’s house tomorrow?”

As the idea of what I was saying dawned on her, her smile got wider… and wider… and wider… and her eyes glittered… and I knew, beyond even a smidgeon of a doubt, that Lemurita shared my genes and quite possibly Cruel Wife’s, too.

I have other toys of that nature that I brought out and demonstrated for her.  Picture a girl with a terribly wide, almost impossibly wide, foolish grin on her face while seeing her ambidextrous daddy flip knives around.  I basked in her delight.

She said “Would you feel it if you stabbed your arm?”

I looked at her with my most genuine look of confusion.

“Your arm – the one that is messed up.”

(poking myself hard in the arm multiple times with the knife I was holding)

“You mean like this?”

She took a step back, her eyes widening and said “Yeah.”

“No, not really.”

“How about if you cut it?”

“No, and I probably wouldn’t know if I burned it, either.”

“Whoa.”

“Well, the coolness of it really isn’t worth the price I paid…”

Indulge me in mentioning the Event.  It was different, it was fun, and I will cease to be a superdad in her eyes soon enough.

By the time I got her herded off to bed she managed to wheedle me into bringing my childhood longbow with us so she could begin learning archery as well.

I may be superdad in her eyes for a while yet, but she’s definitely my kryptonite and probably always will be except on the topics of dating and the merits of 10mm and .40 cal handguns over 9mm’s.

I growled at her “Be off with ye, foul worm, to bed!”

“G’night dad!”

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Kids and wives… if you really really REALLY love your dad/husband, you will run right out and get the makings for this (adjust ingredients to his taste).  Somewhere after capping it you wrap it up in paper and foil and press the thing under roughly 30 tons of weights until it is nice and flat.  I think of it as being like a Cuban, only different.

I have no idea where it came from other than a much larger picture set was embedded in an e:mail to me today.  It looks awesome.

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Today I bought a knife.  I am happy.

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On Oozing Stupidity

I ooze stupidity daily because it just plain feels good – it hasn’t made me blind or given me the equivalent of reefer madness so I see absolutely no reason to stop.  If it is bad, why does it feel so good?

But.

There are people that say “things” in certain ways that imply certain “things” loudly and clearly.  Last night Soylent linked to Grist.org where they implied that Japan’s earthquake was caused by thinning of the polar ice-caps.  These coy statements are the framework that eco-terrorists hang much of their arguments on and have some very recognizable features:

  • They highlight something emotional, which may be a real disaster or accident
  • They reference statements that spring off of the emotion
  • The statement is dressed up to look like a point that they are trying to argue, but…
  • The statement is also crafted or presented in such a way that it can be disowned immediately

Here’s an example of something worthy of being disowned very quickly (and they did).

“When the ice is lost, the earth’s crust bounces back up again and that triggers earthquakes, which trigger submarine landslides, which cause tsunamis,” Bill McGuire, professor at University College London, told Reuters.

Melting ice masses change the pressures on the underlying earth, which can lead to earthquakes and tsunamis, but that’s just the beginning. Rising seas also change the balance of mass across earth’s surface, putting new strain on old earthquake faults, and may have been partly to blame for the devastating 2004 tsunami that struck Southeast Asia, according to experts from the China Meteorological Administration.

Wow… got that?  Grist.org struck out that last part as soon as people cried BS.  In fact, I haven’t seen so many edits done to a blog in such a short amount of time since… well, ever.

Scientists have known for some time that climate change affects not just the atmosphere and the oceans but also the Earth’s crust. These effects are not widely understood by the public.

“In the political community people are almost completely unaware of any geological aspects to climate change,” said McGuire.

Yeah, just last week a guy started up his snowblower, m’kay, and three sinkholes swallowed up a schoolbus, a schnauzer, and my neighbors back-yard toilet/planter.  You guys are just totally clueless about climate change and geology just like the political community {nods vigorously}.

Well, over on the youtube thing I was looking at video of Japan’s tsunami, where I found a cornucopia of idiocy.  We’re not talking about secretions of stupid-ooze, we’re talking about entire-bowel-moving excretions of stupidity.

we are all incredibly frightened here. this morning there is a tiny gang of analysts which have been with a college in nevada that have showed clearly the planet is definitely drawing near to its finish. this is truly beginning to seem sensible now. read the intimidating write-up@:[VTBBNews.us.mn]

“A tiny gang with a college in nevada”.  Seriously?  Wow, those are some heavy hitters there.  A Tiny Gang has had their hands in everything and A College in Nevada is where I got my mail-order PhD.  How about that?

21.12.2012 is not the end of the world, it is the end of the Atlantis experiment. So we are now at the end of something that went badly wrong. The world is now experiencing a complete shift, releasing negativity and pain (includling humans), hopefully after this date we will then be able to move forward into a new era x

– Just , to let you know, 12/3/2011 03:08

Boy am I ever glad they let me know.

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Speaking of liberals, ec0-terrorists and liberals are like liverwurst and mayo sandwiches, they just seem to go together… Oh, do stop looking like that, liverwurst and mayo on sourdough is good for you.

Over at Aardvarks and Asshats, Eddie von Bear has made some friends.  Now, Eddie and I say things in entirely different ways – for instance, I could never, and would never try (well, I did once) to emulate his style.  If you are up to what might be considered “vulgar” language in genteel company, here is the link.

Now, a fella named William J Hanchey III 2 (Good Lord, all that is a name?) is what you would consider to be a troll.  And he’s an erratic troll with friends who got riled up at EvB’s writing style and arguments.

There’s the part I can’t understand.  Why would you go to a “Rattlesnake and Squirrel Chili Cookoff” event if what you were really jonesing for was a “Strawberry-Kiwi Cheesecake Poetry Brunch”?

After making an argument (and I thought it was a very good argument, if I may say so, about the misconceptions liberals have about conservatism and philanthropy), WJH32 got rather upset.  To the point of saying that I, the Glorious Lemur King, could personally fellate him.  Well, I felt that his response was uncalled for.   Then he kind of rattled himself apart towards several other visitors to EvB’s blog, uttered insults and proto-threats, then basically started behaving like an irate 12-year old.

At some point in his blustering (before my second response) he uttered – and I kid you not and I quote:

Reagans fiscal Sanity? Before Bush left office reagan and the the two georges had the three biggest deficits in US History.  Reagan was awesome huh? He is also the one who trained the Mujahideen aka Taliban considered them to be no different than America’s Founding Fathers.  – A Troll named William J. Hanchey III 2

I admit I blinked three times slowly after reading that utterance, and then I responded.

To be perfectly clear, being quite heterosexual I have no desire or interest to fellate him so he’ll just have to go to bed all full of liberal angst and sexually flustered.

† Proof that I am Heterosexual:  Mrrreeeowwwrrr… Salma Hayek… you can’t fake that, sorry.

Update:  Soylent thought maybe I had best provide a picture of Salma as additional proof – ok, so here’s the secret handshake part of the heterosexual male club… the first time I ever “met” Salma.  I even have Tito and Tarantula’s Tarantism album because of her.


Oh hell… you need MORE proof, SG? Geez. Right around 3 minutes into it.

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That sharp stabbing pain could be the poignancy of the whole affair.

stupid_is_as_stupid_does

"A teenage girl is suing a tattoo artist for £8,500 after she allegedly asked him for three stars on her face..."

Sadly, she got a three of stars on her face.

She claims she fell asleep while he was doing his work… and awoke to ‘this nightmare’.

I have three tattoos.  I don’t know anyone who falls asleep during tats, sorry – at least not right below the eye like that and certainly not on the nose.

As co-worker Capricious Half-Breed remarked:   “And this year’s winner of the coveted ‘Dr. House Bedside Manner Award’ goes to…”

Jules Clocher, a Belgian psychologist, said: ‘The trauma this girl must be feeling is indescribable.  She feels like a circus freak – and no wonder, because she looks like one.’

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More stabbing pain stuff.  Britain’s new stab-proof knife.

It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can’t inflict a fatal wound,” [John Cornock] said. “Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.”

Stab-Proof Knife

You.   Must.   Be.   Joking.   If it has a sharp edge on it, it is deadly.

What next?  Writing utensils for Britons like the one below?

Crayon****

Never before have I seen such transparency.  Obama’s ability to stand by what he promises is breathtaking.

In a move that puts a cloud over transparency, White House officials are blocking access to the lists of the names of visitors to the White House.

The practice, carried over from the Bush administration, argues the public does not need to know who comes calling at the Executive Mansion, even for policy purposes.

Added in with the takeover of US businesses, the dictates on pay, the attack on free speech on the airwaves… the use of ABC News to do a personal infomercial controlled by Obama and his Administration (read: The State).   Awful close to Nazi days – get them browncoats a-movin’ and make sure you take away people’s guns while you’re at it, Big-O.

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Update:  Ok, yeah, so I want a full set… Each one fits on a single finger.  Nice.  Makes fighting for the halloween candy that much easier.

iron_reaver_claw

click to embiggen

Ok these too…  don’t ask me why I like them.  They look like you’d look like a total idiot wearing them, but they’re still neat.

skull_bones_hand_claw_540

click to embiggen

Update #2 – Enas has been trying to get me addicted to WoW, the EverCrack for the 00’s.  May I present to you a picture that I ran across a day or so ago?  I cannot recall where and it is not mine and I don’t claim it is mine – but it kind of illustrates one little fear I have regarding this type of game:

futurewowplayerlarge

Now, on to our regularly scheduled load of tripe…

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Found a web/blog that showcases great long-exposure photography.  Check out this one:

John A Ryan Photography

Source: Insight Imaging: John A Ryan Photography

Isn’t that just beautiful?  More long-exposure stuff can be found here at the Digital Photography School website.

Update… I keep going back to look at their pics.  I wish I was half as talented – go check them out.

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Other fun stuff with digital photography is to be found as well.  I got very interested in Paul Debevec and Greg Ward’s work in HDR (High Dynamic Range) imagery a few years ago and really haven’t had the right tools to do the job but gave it a shot anyway.

hdr-july4-noon_20080704_smallThing to note with HDR photography is that you will be able to capture orders of magnitude greater range of exposure beyond what the sensor of your camera can supply.  Viewing an HDR (range compression) must be lossy because your monitor can only display a very small range of intensities (and is limited in terms of the CIE color spectrum as well, but that’s another topic).

What the preceeding paragraph is hinting at is that in one picture you can capture all the brightest points and darkest points in detail.  It looks… odd… but is fascinating to look at anyway.  If you want to really read up on it, including Ward and Debevec’s papers, fire me a note and I’ll dig them up for you.  Otherwise PopSci has a good overview here.

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Technology is so… chaotic… in terms of cool or not cool.  Let’s look at the example of a USB Sheep Lamp.

usb-sheep-lampYou tell me… cool or not?  I have my own opinions but it’d be interesting to hear yours.

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So if you are drunk and stupid, it’s still better to try to drive home than to ask a cop.  That’s the lesson I’m seeing here.

An allegedly intoxicated couple stopped at a police station to try to catch a lift home. La Marque Police Chief Richard Price said the woman collapsed in the lobby. Her 22-year-old boyfriend was arrested after marijuana was found in his shoes.

Source: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,493015,00.html

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Time for another look at movie posters.  This one is The Pumpkin Karver.  You just know that with the “K” standing in for a “C” that it has to be of the same kaliber as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, right?  It got 3.3 out of 10 stars at IMDB.com, which is usually pretty generous compared to RottenTomatoes.com.  PK wasn’t even rated on RottenTomatoes (no surprise) and Killer Klowns got a 73% on the Tomatometer, yay! (5.5 out of 10 on IMDB )   When RT doesn’t even deign to rip off your cinematic head and defecate down what is left of said cinematic throat, you’re doing pretty bad.

A Face Only a Mother Could Love

A Face Only a Mother Could Love

Love the poster though.  Nothing says “I wuv ‘oo” quite like a diseased klown.

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Wow, the transgender godfather.  Yikes.  Go read the article.  I think this will help convince you to see it.  If the picture looks odd, wait till you see the real mobster.

I can be a bit critical of them doing this pic though… making fun of Brando… Mmmmm… I don’t know.

more later…

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Friday afternoon update to last night’s post…

Is it 5pm yet?

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Trying something new tonight.  I’m taking the strange or unusual search terms that led to my site and hunting them down elsewhere since people most assuredly did not find this sh*t on my blog.

Here we go…  (if you are looking for guns/knives go to the bottom of this post)

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Lemurs can be cross-dressers.  Cool.  It’s a lifestyle choice.  I get it.

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Somehow I bet that shooting himself because his girlfriend withheld sex (1) didn’t do a damn thing for getting any, (2) kind of puts a damper on future activities, and (3) squashes the relationship.

Well, I imagine you can get all the sex you can handle while serving time.

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If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime:   Grand Theft Tomater (or) Grand Theft Vegetable (or is it fruit?)

Somehow, the school board seems like the perfect place for him.

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It’s a few days old but there is no statute of limitations on cretinism.  If you are gonna steal make sure it isn’t traceable.

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I find this odd at best.  She is looking for Lemur breeders?  Wouldn’t asking a guy for a date be less trouble?

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This one came from the words “mower tattoo pubes” and led me to this NSFW post

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“cannibal who couldn’t get an erection” … WTF?  There were no hits to this that had any relevant relationship between ED and cannibals, although statistically I’m sure it must happens.  If only cannibals had their version of Bob Dole to help cut through the stigma… then I might have a link to post here.

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Haggis.  I get hits on Haggis every single day.  Every one.  Without fail.  Go look it up at wikipedia.  It’s really pretty damned gross, but I’d try it once.

There are many recipes, most of which have in common the following ingredients: sheep’s ‘pluck’ (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal’s stomach for approximately three hours.

I happen to enjoy menudo so who knows?  Maybe I’d like this, too.

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Guns and Knives haven’t seen my pages in a while…

Weird, unusual, morbidly interesting… DeathWind.

Carbines… I don’t know how to defend it but I like the Beretta CX4 design.  It is a bullpup-derived design but that doesn’t matter as much as “it looks cool” to me.

Gerber Ripstop knife:

For something different – what you might call “high maintenance” but still filling a unique niche.  Tinkerswords.  I like this folding knife.

Self-defense/Tactical Folder Knife - Vicious

Self-defense/Tactical Folder Knife - Vicious

The SOG AccessCard 2.0

Aaaaand SOG’s Kiku, which I’m not going to post a picture of because it is far far outside of my range ($2500) and looking at it makes me weep with longing.

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Miscellaneous Crud…

Cynthia McKinney proves that she is high and of very limited intelligence. I love the comment on the FOX website:   “Life must be really scary on her planet.”

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