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Posts Tagged ‘Lazarus’

Obamacare means never having to say “What can I do for you?”, it really means saying “What can I do for y’all?”

Imagine being grouped by symptoms – multiple patients, one doctor, all at once.

Could you end up with the Urination Discomfort Group – a Blonde Bimbo, a Soccer Mom, a Construction Worker, a Pregnant Cow, and a sweaty 475lb Wal-Mart transvestite greeter named Hubert all in the same room?

Imagine publicly working through the diagnoses:

  1. Take more breaks at work, you need to urinate more frequently
  2. Stop having an affair with different men every day and fill this prescription for an antibiotic
  3. Go to an Urgent Care to get the rivet taken out of your groin because the ER can’t take you with so many not-Amnesty folks
  4. The vet’s office is two floors up, and you know that, Bossie
  5. Hubert, the damp environment from your leather underwear has led to a UTI.  Again.

The LAST thing I want is to be grouped in with a Blonde.

Just wait until a burst appendix is elective outpatient surgery.  Then you’ll be sorry.

Apologies to the three-thousand seven-hundred and nineteen sweaty 475lb transvestite Wal-Mart greeters named Hubert that I have just mortally offended or embarrassed. 

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Deerzarus, come forth.

Just in time for Easter, too.

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Erik Ericson says on FoxNews in an op-ed piece about the autopsy of the RNC 2012 Election

What the autopsy misses out of the gate is that some times there is nothing that can be done. Bad election years are bad election years. Candidates like Josh Mandel were model candidates for the GOP who ran great races, but still lost. Some times it just happens.

“… some times there is nothing that can be done.  Bad election years are bad election years.”

The RNC at this point needs a DNR.  This is one patient that no one should expend heroic measures on.

We had McCain and then Romney.  McCain was at the time the lesser of evils but he has since fallen so far out of my favor that he’s never coming back.  Romney suffered from a serious case of Not-Great-ness.  Romney was like Breyer’s Vanilla Ice Cream.  Not bad but needed something to vault him into the realm of Greatness.  Unfortunately what we got was Vanilla Ice Cream and Beluga Caviar.  Beluga would have been better, Vanilla would have been ok, but Apple Pie and Vanilla Ice Cream just never left the pits.

The food metaphor went stale, then rancid, and rotted with that nasty slimy-pie and way-bad smell of spoiled milk products.  So sorry.

The talk is that the RNC needs to re-brand itself, stop being “Too white, too right, and too uptight”, and be more caring.  If I hear “re-branding” as a serious suggestion one more time someone is going to get a Super-Wedgie™.

Re-branding is bullshit.  Too white is ridiculous – it’s not about color.  We’ve got color in the White House and obviously that’s not the magic answer.  Uptight?  Ol’ Reservoir Tip has that covered, too.  Too right?   Nah.  Focus on that and you’re so far away from the correct answer that you’re not even wrong.

I know…

How about “Be a man”?  How about “Be a man of character”?  How about “Be the same man, no matter what the situation”?

Or woman.  Let’s not turn this into a gender thing.  Let’s keep this as an issue of being real vs. a creepy political silly-putty golem.

I think the Pope is the model of what is needed.

We need someone who is what they really are.  We need someone who isn’t apologizing for what they believe in because they don’t need to.  We need someone who wants something better, but that something better does not necessarily mean having that job as top dog.

You can analyze past presidents all you want.  You can look at the great failures and great successes and you can dice them up and analyze them to your heart’s content and miss what it’s really going to take.

Someone who cares, someone who has the capacity to lead, and their heart has to be bigger than their ego.  Haven’t seen that since 1981.

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Speaking of ego and fitness for leadership, Nevada’s Harry “Whorehouse” Reid can’t even wait for forensics to figure out what happened before blaming the Hawthorne Army Depot deaths on the sequester.  This isn’t news as much as my observation about a lack of respect.

Geez, Reid… I know you are a scumbag little weasel but have some courtesy – wait a little bit before using a tragedy for your own gain.

Of course the Democrats are well known for never letting something serious go to waste.****

CNN’s Foreign Int’l Correspondent Ben Wedeman:

“He hasn’t actually done much in the way of real policy changes of initiatives, and he certainly is the hope and change pope, but he’s at the head of a body, the Vatican, that’s very resistant to change”

The Hope and Change Pope?  I didn’t think you could get any more insulting than Harry Reid, but I guess I was wrong.

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