Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Llamas’

Office Assassin sent me a link to the newest Llamas with Hats.  Bless her coal-black heart.

She has pledged to be nice(er) to me this year.  For the most part she’s done very well.  She sent me a picture of a beautiful flower yesterday and then disclosed that it was a deadly poisonous one and that perhaps she has a little ways to go.

I should probably mention that I have filled our luggage with orphan meat.  – Carl the Llama

Awful.  Hilarious.  Sick.  Funny.

****

Today’s second dose of black gallows humor.  I have absolutely no idea where it comes from.  Might’ve been Adult Swim.

Scene:  A guillotine
Dramatis Personae: A crowd, a man in the stocks, and a black-masked executioner

Executioner:  Do you have any last words you would like to say?

Prisoner:  I’d like to say to my wife and family –

[Guillotine whistles down, stopping with a thudding sound]

Executioner:  [smiling] I just live for that.


****
Bunk Strutts over at Tacky Raccoons has an awesome set of china on display.

They just scream “Eat ribs on me!”

****

Ah, what a wuss.   Boy sticks tongue on frozen pole.

I did it as a kid just before the school bus drove up.  Driver said to get on or get left behind.

So I steeled myself and ripped my tongue off the mailbox leaving a nickle-sized patch of tongue on the mailbox.  Bled like crazy for 30 minutes or so.  I spit every last bit of it on the floor on the back of the bus just to spite the hateful harpy of a driver.

Didn’t need no firemen to save me from my stupidity, just a shrew of a bus driver.

****

I’m speechless as a result of the stupidity of the Seattle bean-pusher named Johnson.

“There was a little line on there near the bottom of the bill that said ‘King county death tax: $50.’ And we looked at that, and looked at that and looked at each other and said ‘what is that?’ Couldn’t believe that a little girl that lived for an hour has to pay a $50 tax,” said Larry.  [Larry the grandfather of the little girl who lived one hour and then died.]

King County now requires a review of every death. The medical examiner instituted the $50 fee for cremations three years ago. This year, it included the fee for burials as well.

The reason we do that is to make sure no one goes to the crematorium or to their grave without society and the family knowing exactly how their loved one died,” says Gareth Johnson, King County Prevention Division Manager.

It’s a well-known fact that without charging them money it would be otherwise impossible to contact the deceased’s family.  What a schmuck.

Read Full Post »

Random Crap Day.

Warning:

  1. This isn’t new.  I don’t claim it to be.
  2. As  such, you may have seen it.
  3. It’s sick and disgusting.
  4. The Office Assassin (administrative-slash-secretary nazi) pointed me to this.
  5. As such, it’s not my fault I loved it.

Llamas with Hats…

Update:  Office Assassin, who is terribly concerned that I have recently ordered chloroform (legitimate science-ey stuff) just sent me this… who should be more worried?

****

Because I am behind on everything, may I point you in the direction of LC Aggie Sith’s PSA for November 2nd post?

It should not be funny, but Cruel Wife is sewing my ass back on at this moment, because I laughed it clean off.

****

While I can understand her parental instincts the less noble part of me took a traipse over and looked at the woman (term used very loosely) who sent her kid to school with weapons to fend off bullies.

Ohmygod.  Geez, lady, ever heard of Extreme Makeovers?

Maybe it’s just the mug shot or the bad attitude.  Or the bad hair day.

(Yes, I know that’s not worthy of me to say it.)

****

Also old news by now… Scientists have found “Liberal Gene”.

“It is the crucial interaction of two factors — the genetic predisposition and the environmental condition of having many friends in adolescence — that is associated with being more liberal,” according to the study.
Uh.
Why must scientists always draw conclusions that are non-sequitur?
Could it be that the person who has a pathological need for “lots of friends” in school might also be the person who, now an adult, lacking the easy social settings, viz., a captive audience made up of a small community of adolescents, feels a gnawing urge to buy their esteem using the only source of money large enough to attract throngs of admirers… other people’s money?
Seriously.  The people who feel the need to be loved the most and in the most public way also happen to be liberal.  Only they can’t do it based on their merits so they have to do it by association and by coercion/misappropriation of other’s sweat equity.
And that is as nice as I can put that.

Read Full Post »