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Posts Tagged ‘loser’

Hard Time.

Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 30 days and released in 4 hours?  What do you want to bet that she gets four tears tattooed on her butt?

I understand alcoholism and addiction.  But at some point you gotta be allowed to bottom out in order to face up to your problem, realize there’s nothing you can do to stop it without help, and you have to be more afraid of the consequences than the process of coming to grips.  Just a cold hard fact.  She’s been kept from bottoming out so she’ll keep doing the same thing over and over.

Ok, next story…

Let the outrage begin.  In Wisconsin, someone had the nerve to put up the billboard pictured here:

Source: Dan Pillar (blog) / The Register (photo)

Seriously?  This is like saying sex kills.  Do you really think anyone is going to be swayed in your intended direction, i.e. actually stop eating bacon or less of it?  Phfffft.  Yeahright.

(Car swerves off road as Ritalin-Enhanced Super-Soccer-Mom internalizes the message on the billboard)  Johnny, Suzy – spit those bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits out right now before you get cancer of the asshole!  RIGHT.  NOW.  YOUNG MAN… spit it out!  Suzy, YOU HEARD ME, TOO!  SPIT IT OUT.  OUT!  OUT!  OUT!

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Update:

Obama, honey… is it supposed to be this soft?

****

I have heard of Adult Babies before.  Paraphilic Infantilism.

Let’s pretend that this guy has written to Dr. Lemur for his advice on how to handle society’s bias against PI’s.

Dear Dr. Lemur,

I am an adult baby.  I am thirty and a half years old.  I am being told by adults that being given money by the government for my condition is wrong.

I wrote to the Washington Times the following letter:

“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.

I cannot believe that they would put my diaper and formula money in jeopardy.  Where would I and Nana Sandra go if our disability checks were to go away?

Can you offer suggestions to make them take me seriously?

Sincerely,

Stanley

PS:  I have also sent a picture of me and Nana Sandra while I was having an afternoon snack.


Dr. Lemur, do you have anything you would like to say to Stanley Thornton Jr’s letter?

Dear Stanley,

First, your condition is one of the oddest affectations going.  I am frankly surprised that you have been allowed to continue on in this vein for so long.  I am even more surprised at how piss-poor of a job your parents did in raising you, you incredible black hole of need, you.

Sadly, your bizarre fetish has only been strengthened by the National Geographic, where you have been given a sensationalized spotlight center-stage position.

Sadder still is that many of our troops have died and sacrificed for so much freedom, which includes your little self-involved world where you are allowed to be as useless as a human being can be and still breathe, and all that while you are paid to do it on the backs of people who work for  a living.  The odds are very high that you are loathed throughout any cross-section of the military or society in general that you choose to investigate.

I would like to suggest that you either (a) grow up in a hurry and get a job like everyone else as opposed to being a useless sack of shit, or (b) get yourself a nice on-line body bag, zip yourself in it, and duct tape a gallon-sized bag over your head.  Either way is a win for taxpayers who already take your personal character flaws and failings seriously, and who will dance in the streets as you leave behind your pathetic lifestyle and embrace your future (whichever road you feel you must travel after your pathetic ass is removed from society’s feeding trough) rather than a bottle and a soggy diaper.

In other words Stanley – stop being a dickhead and become a worthwhile part of society or leave it.  You choose.  Ultimatums should never be given if you aren’t completely willing to follow through with your threatened behavior.  Go ahead Stanley, get serious.  Step up or zip up.

Sincerely disgusted,

Dr. Lemur

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[Warning:  I don’t feel good today and I’m “In a Mood”.  I’m no more vicious than Ann Coulter, however.]

Good grief, get a load of the sob story…

Doctors Discover Dallas Twins Have Two Different Dads

Paternity tests then revealed what had happened — two eggs had been fertilized by two different sperm and there was a 99.99% chance the twins had different dads.

Washington later admitted she had had an affair and got pregnant by two different men at the same time.

Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me“, she told myfoxdfw.com. “I’m very shocked.

Yeah, it’s a shame such hardships should happen to a sweet innocent slattern tramp harlot slut lady like yourself, ma’am.

The real losers in all this (not Loser, like their mom) are the boys, to be born to a mother commonly referred to as “the town pump”.  How hard is it to project out and imagine how many men had to get paternity tested to find out which two guys were the father?

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