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Posts Tagged ‘phall’

I read an article about an indian curry (which turns out is not really all that “indian”) at this restaraunt in New York.  Sounds like Phall is worth trying, if I ever get to NY.  The idea of a dish with a “smoky ashtray taste” sounds intriguing.

It reminds me of a visit to a local Thai place (Thai Bistro, Canton, MI) years ago when I was a lightweight in spicy food but thought I was Mr. Tough Guy.  I ordered this Orange Roughy dish which sounded pretty good.  The waiter asked me how hot I wanted it.  I said “Four stars, please.”   He pauses and stares at me, unsure of how to respond.  Finally he says simply “Uh, our chef is from Thailand…”

I look at him with my best patented You’re An Idiot™ stare and said “And I’m from Oregon, give me four stars please.”

It might have been that I pissed the chef off, I don’t know.  I do know that I took my first bite and said “Cruel Wife, I can’t eat this” and dropped my fork.   Cruel Wife’s eyes got wide when she noticed the smoking napkin as I wiped my lips.  It looked like an Alien™ got shot and spewed acid-blood all over our dining area by the end of the meal, with smoking black spatters all over the tabletop.

I finished the whole damn dish and wept in a very manly fashion as I went over the threshold to the car.  We raced over to the Meijer store across the street where I gobbled a half bottle of Tums and then went home to lie in agony on the bed for three hours.

The next day was bad.  Very.  Very.  Bad.  The lining of my intestines sloughed off.  My gallbladder dissolved into giblet-sized chunks.  My liver volunteered for donation and my lungs went on strike.  Then-governor Engler declared my alimentary canal a disaster area.  Relief was not forthcoming.  Had I eaten ice-cream for dessert I might’ve had that to look forward to, but I hadn’t so there wasn’t even a prayer.

Now, looking back I say “Oh was I ever so young?” and chuckle.

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So… where have you eaten culinary napalm, what was the dish, and have you got a good story?

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The Ultimate Web-Surfer’s Chair – the Daybed.

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