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Posts Tagged ‘pot’

Comedy Gold.

The admin gal (Savior of Kittens) who runs HR and a raft of other things around here sent me this clipping from an e:mail that arrived in her box. Real applicant? Gosh, I hope so. The HR gal dropped her bong and a baggy of purple hit the ground. Her office smells like bong water now.

COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS THE SAME COMPANY THAT FOX NEWS EXPOSED FOR SMOKING POT AND DRINKING ON THE JOB?

IF IT IS, I WOULD LIKE TO APPLY TO YOUR COMPANY. I NEED A GOOD PAYING JOB WHERE I CAN SMOKE POT DURING THE DAY. ALSO I NEED GOOD BENEFITS.

THANK YOU, XXXXXXX

“I need a good paying job where I can smoke pot during the day”… don’t we all, sister. Benefits? Sure!

No, SofK didn’t really drop her bong. No, I don’t smoke dope, although you could be excused for thinking so if you listen to me long enough. We do happen to be a drug-free company. SofK was laughing so hard she was crying.

I asked the boss (who was standing there) if perhaps it had been a bad idea that I had lit up in the middle of yesterday’s meeting.  Sadly, he’s become used to me and I can no longer surprise him w/o going into pretty deep waters.
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I just saw the surgeon again today because he asked me to come discuss some thoughts he had. He did a risk/reward analysis and only wants to fuse two discs. His other choice for me is to opt for a disc replacement. When will they need to replace it? Never. Recovery time before resuming life? Two weeks if fusion, one week if replacement. How cool is that, huh?

My insurance may not cover the disc replacement. I told him I don’t care which way we go as long as I get hand and finger strength and dexterity back and less pain. He thinks that is possible.

So in 2-3 weeks I may get a lot of my life back…

Dare I hope?

It would be just in time for Christmas.

Note:  Do I really think it’ll be 1-2 weeks for recovery?  No.  It will be longer than that.  1-2 weeks is time before I can go back to work but taking it easy.  Yes, I could do more and sooner, but why push it?

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Co-worker BLA (Black Lab on Amphetamines) sent this to me today:

Title of article is “Amazing story of cat reunited with owner after 18-month outing to Margate.”  The owner seems happier than kitty, judging by the photo:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Ely/Purr-fect-ending-as-Theo-is-reunited-with-his-owner-30112011.htm

I think he is right – the cat seems less-than-thrilled.

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The Dude made me close my eyes for a Christmas present. He knows I am a softie for rubber chickens. Ugly, ain’t it?

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Hello Constant Reader (you know your name)… it is time for another installment (the first, actually) of “You put WHAT WHERE?”

Rectally-smuggled contraband included:

… a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana.

That was just one person.  I am not making this up.  Only in the state where I lived for five years could this happen.  In Wenatchee, WA to be exact.

[Phil Stanley, jail administrator] said no contraband was found on a pat-down search or on a later strip search. About 90 minutes later … a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet. After being questioned by jailers, the man surrendered the contraband.

After being questioned by jailers… the man surrendered the contraband.

Whatever they are getting, the jailers aren’t getting paid enough.

The man was serving a three-day sentence.

The news article is titled:

Cheeky inmate overpacked for jail stay

I’m trying to picture it:  “So stick that up your ass and smoke it.”

I don’t want to picture it.

Thanks go to alert co-worker The Butcher of Lansing.

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So Franken-boy graduated preschool today.  They asked each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Cruel Wife said he was the only one to answer “A daddy”.

Now, that means there’s three scenarios:  (a) he’s got a line on a hot babe already and thinking ahead, (b) “daddy” to him means total authority and the chance to make people miserable, or (c) he likes and respects his dear old dad.

Option (c) is highly unlikely-unless- I am not his dad.

Hmmmmmm.

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