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Posts Tagged ‘red bull’

icanhazcatzass.

Well anyone can have a cat’s ass, because cats are always willing to share.

Thanks to Cruel Wife.

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That kitty doesn’t know the definition of irony. Yet.

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Now hear this…

Did you hear the one about the cops tasering and beating up the deaf guy and cuffing his hands behind his back so he could not sign to them?

Apparently his pleas fell on deaf ears and they refused to listen to what he had to say. He was stunned speechless by their brutality. The whole thing sounds like it ended with no one on speaking terms. The police defended their actions, gesturing at the same time that their hands were tied.

Ok, I joke, but as a hearing deficient individual he has my sympathy, and you know what? I hear the winds of litigation blowing…

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Thanks to Lemurita… who agrees that I only drink Red Bull(tm) socially and that I do not have a problem.
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And for some reason someone out there took a picture of these people humping trees and I keep wanting to post it. No idea why. Probably I do it because I think tree hungers and duck squeezers are idiots.
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Maybe more later.

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Apologies for the harsh tone here. I was in a foul mood. I posted, pulled the posting, posted it again after thinking about it some more. I figure everybody has a bad day. Perhaps the title was more appropriate than I thought.


There is a despicable cowardly attempt to blackmail Red Bull™ into paying the low-lifes with money or the low-lifes contend that they will contaminate energy drinks with fecal matter.

Hey, I was ok with those silly Norks, and the Chinese growing pains, and Hamas’ psychotic-neuroses and trying to project their gender-confusion issues on everyone else, and the Iranian penis-envy phase that they’ve been going through for several thousand years, and all of the UN and EU pretty much hating the US for actually being effective… I say screw ’em all.

But we’re talking about messing with my energy drink, man. I don’t need it, but I like to drink it socially and there is no reason why my supply should be threatened. I can quit anytime, I just don’t want to. We just need to send in some heavy bombers in to lay waste to the capital city of whatever country the slimebags are in. Then the rest of the country will have incentive to round up and execute these heathen who are threatening our Red Bull™ supply.

Easy-peasy.

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I have a few simple rules: 1) No passing gas at my dinner table – it’s extremely poor manners. 2. If a room full of English speakers suddenly has two people switch to another language I ask them to switch back to English, and if not, leave. Privacy can be found elsewhere. 3. No use of the N-word or the C-word. If I hear a guy use the C-word towards my wife he will only be allowed medical care after he has wiped his butt with broken fingers while passing the broken teeth I made him pick up and eat with those same broken fingers.† 4. Do not put me on call waiting. I will hang up. Call me when you want to talk to me and aren’t going to waste my time. 5. Don’t hurt children. See #3 for consequences but be warned, they are just the beginning. 6. Don’t be a gargoyle. If you go cyborg/gargoyle and start listening in on me and tracking my life I won’t hurt you but your equipment will stop working. 7. Saying “Yuk” or “Gross” at a food at the dinner table gets you a second helping. 8. Don’t be suprised that I heard the phone ring when you called during our dinner and I didn’t pick it up anyway. It was our dinnertime.

† When CW and I were dating a friend of mine made the mistake of making a disparaging remark towards her when she was at my place and it got maximally real instantly. No fingers were broken, no teeth were eaten or passed, other than the visions of it happening in my head.

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Stories like this make me feel warm and fuzzy to a greater degree than a spring day. A jerk gets a fist to the face for being a Class A Butt-wipe.

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Hey, I really like it when a mom is so excited about her kid’s school assembly that she wants to get right down there and… WHAT? Oh… NO… DON’T DO THAT! Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease. OW OW OW OW! You like that, lady?!? I just gouged out my eyes with a broken spork covered with rat feces because you couldn’t keep your clothes on. But oh, the poor children. We adults can drink ourselves to death to get away from the memories. But kids are going to need a whole lotta psychotherapy and the damage is permanent and eternal.

They say school staff told them the assembly was halted and the cafeteria cleared after Meaders began dancing onstage and took off some of her clothes.

She’s charged with seven counts of endangering the welfare of a child and one count of public lewdness.

Pre-K through 8th Grade…AYDREA-MEADERS

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The other day Hackerboy (who is six) was on the Wii playing a game that looked suspiciously like the Tour de France in its layout.  Let’s call it the Tour de Frank.

Anyway, he had moved from 100th place in the beginning to 17th place by the end of Stage 5.  I was making dinner and only marginally paying attention but I was following his progress.  He was clearly excited by his progress and I heard him say loudly:

I was BORN for this!

Where he got that, I’ll never know.

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I’m not addicted to Red Bull™.  I can quit anytime.  I like the taste.  It is a social thing.  I just don’t want to quit.  I’m not hurting anybody.  I only have a few.  Other people?  They have problems.

Beautifully creative use of Red Bull™ long after the body has eliminated it.

I only wish I had come up with that idea.  It’s elegant.  Beautiful.  Cheaper than taking it to the shop.

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Note:  I’m tired, cranky, and bitchy.  I’m going to rant.  You might skip over this if you are in a “don’t pop my bubble” mood.

As you know, I listen to NPR to follow the saying “Know thine enemy”.

I end up knowing far too much.

Rodriguez moved to the U.S. with his family when he was 7. He says if he could, he would vote.

“To see people that have that privilege and not take it, and because they don’t take it we have people elected that create laws that hurt me, that hurt my family, that hurt our communities. It can get frustrating,” he says.

“I am practically an American without papers, and because of that I don’t have the power to vote,” says Rodriguez. “So, the best thing I can do now is organize those that can, and make them vote for me.”

Yet another ILLEGAL alien is whinging about the raw deal he’s getting just because he hasn’t gone and become a legal entity in the US.  Like it’s the US’s fault that he’s in the situation he’s in.  It’s his family who is at fault.  They didn’t do a “moved to the US”, they did a “snuck into the country illegally and decided to stay”.

At the end of the evening, Somos America President Daniel Rodriguez took to the podium.

“Raise your hand,” he said in Spanish, “if you know someone who’s not here but needs this information. Raise your hand if you know someone who’s been deported. Raise your hand if you know someone who has the power to vote.”

Across the room, hands shot up at each statement.

“Every question, almost everyone raised their hands, and that just goes to show you that there’s a lot of people that know the pain and the hurt of being deported or having to know someone that was deported,” Rodriguez recounted.

Rodriguez told the crowd of mostly ineligible voters that they need to use that pain and turn it into power by tapping friends and family who can vote.

The pain and hurt of being deported or having to know someone that was deported… I have friends from Germany that were here LEGALLY and they had to go back home.  So a large number of hispanics here illegally feel like they are owed the right to break the law and be given a free pass?  Well, they certainly won’t be disabused of that notion by our Marxist president and the liberal media.

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Today I heard another thing on NPR.

One of the reporters was interviewing a lady from Yemen.

Turns out a lot of Yemenis hate the US and distrust us.

WHOA!  OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!  This turns my world UPSIDE DOWN!  Yemenis somewhere in the world hate us.  Oh.  My.  God.

She said it as if we were suddenly going to have to sit up straight and pay attention.  So what?  Big deal.  Let’s have a head count – the number of Yemenis who have been terrorists who have attempted to kill, want to kill, or have killed – innocent civilians.  Ok.  Now let’s take a head count of the number of US terrorists who have the same aspirations to kill Yemenis.  Yeah, there’s a huge network of people organizing to do just that.  Uh-huh.  Sure.

Next, the reporter made mention of either $150 or $170 million dollars being spent on aid programs in Yemen – building things, infrastructure, etc.  He asked her if that is helping the US’s image in Yemen.

Guess what?

Her response was essentially that no, it does nothing because Yemenis see how much we spend on military involvement in Yemen – troops, equipment, training – and see that it is far more.  They also believe that most of that money goes to corrupt individuals in their government.

A corrupt government is a symptom of a corrupt society (the US is not an exception).  But why is the US implicitly to blame for their corruption?  Why do Yemenis still take money from the US?

And better yet, why do we spend money on a country that hates and distrusts us when it does no good and is going to corrupt individuals?  We do it so we can function covertly and overtly in their country.  Let’s not couch it in terms of “aid”, m’kay?  And Yemen – if it is such a distasteful thing, stop claiming the high road while holding out the hands for money.  Clean your house of corruption while you are at it.

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Texas Smoldering

It’s not sweltering because it’s not Michigan.  I hear there is a fire going on somewhere in the state but it is not here.

But it was 105 today.

Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.

I got up, threw on my jeans and a t-shirt, jumped in the jeep and tore out of the driveway.

Then I turned around, went back home, threw the luggage in the vehicle and woke the kids to say goodbye for a few days.

Ran into work, stopped long enough to throw together one last panicky overnight box and issue a few vague orders and ran out the door there, too.

The airport was interesting.  An absolutely scary lady was heading right towards me and in my state it’s hard for me to change direction rapidly.  It was a collision course in the making.  She had some kind of fake wig, a big old mu-mu, mis-shapen face, five o’clock shadow, large nose, and huge pores… I was freaking out because we were heading right towards each other.  Then, about fifty feet away she veered off.

Yes, painkillers and Red Bull™ are quite a combination to behold.

I might have said something silly earlier about first class accommodations on the flight, complete with footrubs, aromatherapy, chocolate fondue, and all-you-can-eat-ribs.  Seriously, can you see me flying First Class?

The coffee was pretty good though.

Waited 30 minutes outside in sunny Dallas heat, which since it was a dry heat was quite pleasant.

The van ride to the hotel was… interesting… but that is a story for another day.

Cruel Wife says that even though I’d rather be at home, I need to take her out to dinner to treat her after all the good food I’m going to have eaten down here.

I told her that I was going to eat nothing but root vegetables while down here.

I just finished a Rutaburger with turnip fries and a Jerusalem artichoke puree.  Picture of that tomorrow if I can find the USB cable to the camera.

For now, I have to rest.  I’m wiped.

Been watching “Troy” on SyFy (worst damn name for a channel I’ve ever seen).  It’s easily the worst Homerism I’ve seen yet today.  Maybe some people liked it.  I was underwhelmed.  Which is too bad since generally I like Pitt and Bana.

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Not really…

Foremost, I am much better today.  I made some from-scratch enchiladas and not a single urge to hurl.  Yay!

Now, over at The Hostages, there was posted a clip from Family Guy.  I don’t watch Family Guy, I just didn’t get into it.

But this was pretty funny, even if it bears no resemblance to a Red Bull addi… I mean, drinker.

And by the way, the editorial over at The Hostages is pretty darned good, too.

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Good gravy.  If you can stomach reading the comments it is rather shocking the rather skewed view of how the US should be set up.  I can’t see how they could go from history, add the Constitution, and add the Federalist Papers, and end up with such viewpoints.

The reason I can’t see it is because there’s precious little evidence that they even paid attention to any of that.

The quotes below are cherry-picked nuggets from the comments section.

The fact is, people being armed chills freedom of speech. If you’re carrying a loaded gun, I’m going to be even more careful what I say around you than I am when I’m with cops. (Not that I have anything against cops.)

Ok, seriously, does someone have stats on how many legal concealed-carry permit folks shot someone for exercising their freedom of speech?  Is it a large number?  Does it make the mind wobble?  You would think that if statistics like that existed that showed that this was a huge problem the anti-gun people would be throwing those numbers around like confetti.

Some people die from gun violence in Arizona and we all get upset. Many, many more citizens will die this year from state budget cuts and medical insurance cuts. Seems the real predator is actually the people who oppose tax increases to pay for the services people need to stay alive. Not as sexy an issue as murder by a right wing nut; but more deadly and evil all the same.

Guns don’t kill people: conservatism does! In all its manifestations: from warmongering, to cutting taxes, to promoting false patriotism.

This is the real evil that walks amongst us!

What is it with people that think conservatives are evil soulless beings?  I know a great number of conservatives that would prefer to donate money to a charity or a church rather than give it to the government – why is this “wrong”?

This is one that’s really going to torque McGoos, cmblake6’s, cmonsters, and AggieSiths… among others.  Ready?

Absolutely zero gun control laws would have stopped this tragedy from happening. Let me explain, lets say you want to ban all guns, you get the law passed and tell everyone they have to turn in their guns. Who is going to turn their guns in? The law abiding citizen? Probably 80%-90% would. The person who intends to do harm now or in the future? I would say less than 5%. Now you have a situation where the criminals know that the chances of someone else having a gun are very low.

80-90%.  That high?  Really?

The people that believe in the 2nd Amendment don’t believe in the right to protect themselves because of the 2nd Amendment… they believe it is their God-given right to protect themselves and their family, and the 2nd Amendment is merely an affirmation of that.

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Cruel Wife has been encouraging… no, strongly suggesting… no… nagging me to invest time in an online comic strip she loves.

Now don’t get me wrong – it’s steampunk, it’s awesomely drawn, it’s got action and engineering-like stuff in it, and all the chicks have these enormous hooters funbags jugs breasts – what’s not to love, right?  Seriously, these gals make Butterball turkeys hang their heads in shame.

I’ve resisted because frankly, those people who are addicted to it are really addicted to it.  It’s sad.

And now I am, too. Girl Genius.  It’s been out there since 2003.  I met the author/artist at the World Steampunk Expo a few months back.  Interesting trio involved in the strip.

The biggest problem is that you spend so much time reading it, especially at first, that you burn up hours very quickly.  That was my original argument.  I was correct.  I read until 2am last night.  I’m only now into 2005 with five more years to catch up on, with three installments posted per week.  It’s a huge amount of work and they’ve only covered 1/3 of the full story as they have planned out so far.  And it is a very fun ride.

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Speaking of addiction…  In order to make this chicken dish tonight I had to have some beer.  I’ve made no secret that I had to give up alcohol because I just loved beer too much.  So there I am in the corner store tonight buying a bottle of beer to cook with.

It is a measure of the power of the addiction when you are more self-conscious about the Red Bull that you are purchasing than the beer you came to buy in the first place. I also chugged the Red Bull in about 30 seconds, burped, and put the can down on the table in front of Cruel Wife and said “I have a problem.”

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Even more brazen attempt to re-write history than Iran’s Amedinejad denying the holocaust – Clinton defending Byrd’s KKK ties saying “He was just trying to get re-elected”.

My brain is stunned silly.

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When I was in college we did the ol’ depth charge thing – shot of vodka in a glass of beer.  Never been so sick in my life.  The world kept spinning around me.  The whole damn world.

I’m older and wiser now.  I’ve been tired because of allergies and dust from the remodeling in the back of our house.

Here’s how to kill two birds with one stone:

A shot of Benadryl in a 12 oz can of Red Bull.

It’s a win-win.

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