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Posts Tagged ‘science’

The opener… a teacher found to have been a pr0nstar.  Not unheard of.  I mean, who hasn’t starred in one or two? †

In a letter sent yesterday to Haydock parents, school brass noted that they are “asking teachers to discourage the children from searching for and/or visiting these inappropriate sites. We ask that you be particularly vigilant over the next few days with respect to the Internet content being accessed by your child on his or her telephone or other Internet-ready device.”   – The Smoking Gun, reporting on a teacher placed on leave after someone “accidentally stumbled across” her porn movies  (link here:  http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/teacher-stars-in-porn-768912

Asking teachers to discourage their children from searching for and/or visiting these inappropriate sites…

blink… blink… nods earnestly… blink… blink…

Really?  This is like pouring sugar on the ground at a picnic to keep away ants.

The “school brass” should be let go because obviously they couldn’t successfully fold socks or figure out which end of the toothbrush is the end that goes in the mouth, they are just that stupid.

A California middle school teacher has been placed on leave after administrators learned from students that the educator appears in porn videos available online.

Learned from students?  Really?  Oh, I imagine someone in that school district new full well what “experiments” Ms. Halas was up to before the kids ever did.

I love how one superintendent used the words “moral turpitude” and “penal code” all in the same sentence.  If anybody needs me I’ll be going to look up “turpitude”.

What kids haven’t already seen it will now be flocking to it and it is a hopeless lost cause.  Know when to just remain silent.  This is like trying to do damage control as the Titanic is going down.  Heh… “going down”… heh.

I will say, the teacher has some large… uh… “floatation devices”.   And a quick web-search… yeah, give it up, you guys.

Besides me, that is.

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Now, before we get all schadenfreuded out over the demise of Carbonite after Rush Limbaugh’s inelegant depiction of Sandra Flake, the Whore-o-Babylon activist who joined college in order to have a nifty sandbox to crap in, let’s take a step back and look at their stock performance over a period of one year, shall we?

Now, I’m no rock-it scientist but that there looks like a pretty decent downward trend, and yeah, there was a dip that was pretty tell-tale right after their fit of pique once they heard El Rushbo trash-talking Flake… but they look like they have been growing rancid and stale for quite a while now.

Sometimes a phallus-shaped thing really is just a cigar.

Yes, I know it is “Sandra Fluke”, not “Flake”.

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FOLKS, THIS IS WHY EUROPE STINKS LIKE A WEEK-OLD FLOUNDER LYING IN THE SUN.  I saw this one Smoking Gun’s World’s Dumbest Inventions #5 (I think it was #5).

Italian fashion house Emilio Cavallini has found that European men are ready and eager to don pantyhose. Will American dudes follow suit?

Seriously.  Mantyhose.  Over the years I have come to find that I have a surprising number of gay friends and generally don’t think of things in these terms anymore, but here is all I can really say about that…

How gay do you want to be, guys?

Crap, that’s about two steps away from cruisin’ in black leather chaps and yay far from a dress.

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It was late in yesterday’s posting so if you missed it then… The Butcher of Lansing found a great clothing tag.

Reportedly a wymyn tweeted:

@Him_Me_Three yes. I find it very disrespectful to both men & women. A decent man can wash his clothes & it is not a womans job.

How is telling the truth sexist?

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If more kids were handcuffed for being little creeps less kids would be little creeps.  Lady, punish your little snowflake and quit whining already.  Be a productive part of society and raise your kid to be, too.

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Quizzicality.

I am still not quite up to snuff.  It’s nothing bad, I am just taking less painkillers by pure choice and feeling the effects of post-surgery more.

I’m told to stop doing this as being all tensed up and such makes it take that much longer to heal but dammit I’m sick and tired of being drugged.  I know people pay good money for that but I value my brain.

Don’t you worry, I give in when I’ve got no other choice.  I’m a control freak.  What do you want to hear?

I did get out with Cruel Wife and toured her company.

Some roads around Detroit are better than I remember.  Some still suck ass, and those range from feeling like the cobblestones at the end of the Tour de France to feeling like a Hare Scramble in Baja, Mexico.

Slice it any way you like, Detroit roads are hell on neck fusions and it is a LONG drive.  On the ride out there I tensed up, gritted my teeth, made sudden hissing noises.  Sensing that it would be better to distract Cruel Wife and myself from these sounds and thoughts, I struck up a conversation.

LK:  Hey.

CW: What?

LK:  When I meet your new boss, can I screw with his head?

CW:  No.

LK:  Can I subtly push him off balance?

CW:  No.

LK:  Can I plant the seeds for screwing with his head the next time I meet him?

CW:  NO!  No no no no – NO.  Leave him alone.  Wait until you and I both know him better.

LK:  (Pouting)  Man, I enjoy messing with people’s heads.

CW:  I know you do, and so does he in an overt way.  You like to do it stealthily so they don’t get it at first…

LK:  And then, reveal it to them when it will have maximal impact.  Yes.  Yes, I do. 

LK:  (Pause while thinking about it.)  Huh huh huh.

(That’s the laugh women can’t do because they don’t have the right equipment.)

CW:  No, you cannot mess with his head.  Leave him alone.

Sensing it would be better to go back to tensing up, gritting my teeth, and making sudden hissing noises I started doing so.

About 30 long minutes later we had dim-sum with her boss and co-workers.  It was great.  I waddled out of there totally stuffed, loosened the neck brace a few buttons, steadied myself mightily with my walking stick, and we set off for the rest of the day.

Went by her company and got to see all the cool lab testing equipment and this one thing called a magnaflux.

You spray the part you want to look at with this solvent containing a crapload of colloidal magnetic particles.  Then you put the test part in this giant hoop and put a 2000A-5000A pulse through it with a *BANG*.  The part jumps (presumably to let you know that it is fully cooked) and then when you look at it under a black light you can see fluorescing cracks where the particles are aligned with the induced B-field.  It’s really quite cool.   It helps greatly if you believe in electrons when explaining the large-current part but if we just assume that the magnetic field was let out of a bottle of magnetism† then everyone walks away happy.

† Yes, I believe in electrons.  I just can’t see them so they kind of piss me off.  What can I say?  I was attacked by a clown as a child and my dad was an electrician, opening me up for getting the feces zapped out of me a few times.  The evil clown probably isn’t relevant but I thought I’d throw it in there.  Dad argued that it was my fault (sure, blame the victim) and I pointed my unburned fingers at the electrons which unsurprisingly didn’t show themselves any more, acting all innocent-ey.

Oh, the quiz part… Are you scientifically literate?

I got a 92% (missed 4).  I don’t feel too badly about it because the ones I missed had to do with planetary moons around gas giants (why clutter my brain with useless stuff that I can always go look up?), the whole “Pluto isn’t a planet” idiocy (like I give a sh*t), heaviest noble gas of which I never once used for anything (I’m partial to Helium, Xenon, Argon, Krypton, thank you), and one on cellular growth.   I have nothing to be ashamed of.

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A Mild Curse?

I have begun to wonder if I am cursed.

Been working on a project that involves fiber optics and some interesting ways of exploiting them.  But optics can sometimes have their own agenda… You’d think “Hey, what can really go wrong?  This is physics, right?”

You can break fibers, crack them, crush optics, have laser failures, torch failures, low transmission issues, bad mechanical splices, bad polishes on connectors, adhesive failures, bad fiber optics batches… and this can go on and on… to the point that you wonder why the part that is relatively simple is being so gosh-darned hard.  All of this, in one day.  We haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet – the part that is technically and scientifically challenging (and fun).

I strongly suspect that in my lab the laws of physics have been beaten with rubber hoses and had fingers broken with pliers.  Then life came along and stole it’s candy and stomped on it’s glasses.  And life chuckled with bone-chilling soulless mirth.

Thank goodness that ThinkGeek is there to help me feel motivated to get out of bed on months like these last few.

The flying alarm clock:

The Flying Alarm Clock wakes you up with a loud shrieking alarm coupled with a little propeller-driven key that leaps off your nightstand. To turn off the horrible racket, you have to get out of bed and retrieve the key. The propeller flies the key high into the air and off into some dusty corner. You have to force your sleep addled brain into wakefulness, move your stiff legs and retrieve the key before the alarm goes off. By the time you’ve done so, you’re awake enough at least to go make a pot of coffee.

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Good gravy, I need a Corndog Factory so bad that I feel like my innards have been sucked out through my kneecaps.  Oh, the humanity.

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I probably also need some Bear Paw Forks, too.

 

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