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Posts Tagged ‘scrotum’

Woman charged with “malicious castration”.

Is there a type of castration that you can be charged for that is called “felicitous castration”?  I’m sure there is at least one case of “fellatious castration”, as in… well… you know… but not felicitous.  Now I’m trying to picture the mechanics of fellatious castration and scratching my head, but moving right along…

The woman in question –

– is accused of squeezing a man’s testicle out of his scrotum this weekend.

Great horny toadies!  Can that be real?

The guy has the balls of a tiger (pardon the expression) because –

– the man walked to the Shelby Rescue Squad building for help.

Holy shit-sucking leeches, Batman!  He walked.  WALKED.  He walked to get help.

The  woman –

– grabbed him by his scrotum before he was able to jerk away from her grip.

Double the balls of a tiger.  Double the balls of a genetically freakishly large angry tiger.  He jerked away from her grip.  The woman was squeezing his testicles of of his bag and he pulled away.

Let’s paint it like it is – this is like pulling your own fingernails out, for you females out there who aren’t attached to testicles.

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Let it be known that mrmacs came up with a nice alternative phrasing to my definition of “planic attack”:

Planic attack: Management’s response (usually finger-pointing or blame-storming) to the realization that a project cannot be completed due to technical issues that have been raised by engineers from the project’s inception.

I thought the use of “blamestorming” was a nice touch.

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… but dammit, we’re going to go hell bent for leather and pretend it will!

Taxed by the mile, you will see a convoluted algorithm as complex as the tax code and as vague as Keno.

The system would require all cars and trucks be equipped with global satellite positioning technology, a transponder, a clock and other equipment to record how many miles a vehicle was driven, whether it was driven on highways or secondary roads, and even whether it was driven during peak traffic periods or off-peak hours.

The device would tally how much tax motorists owed depending upon their road use. Motorists would pay the amount owed when it was downloaded, probably at gas stations at first, but an alternative eventually would be needed.
Privacy concerns are based more on perception than any actual risk, Atkinson said. The satellite information would be beamed one way to the car and driving information would be contained within the device on the car, with the amount of the tax due the only information that’s downloaded, he said.

Naturally, in order to prove that the taxes were calculated correctly (in order to cover our ass in case the sheeple do complain), we’ll also download all that time/place/who stuff  and keep it safe.  You can trust us.

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Chicago Tea Party… the poll may not be scientific but it is telling.

chicago-tea-party****

Funniest “most embarassing” correction statement ever…

huffpo-gibson

Idiocy courtesy of Huffington Post

At least the had the balls to correct it.  *smirk*

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Another little historical reality check…

djia-history-1970-feb202009click to embiggen

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Thank God the stimulus bill is really going to help those who need it most.  Per the Silicon Valley Insider…

Billionaire Paul Allen is a Microsoft cofounder, the owner of the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks and the owner of the NBA’s Portland Trailblazers.

paulallen-poor-little-rich-boy

And, thanks to the stimulus bill President Obama signed this week, he’s also about to be as much as a billion dollars richer.

  • Allen owns a majority stake in cable provider Charter Communications.
  • Charter Communications this month said it would reduce its debt load by $8 billion and enter Chapter 11.
  • Normally, partners at a firm like Charter Communications would have to pay taxes on the amount of debt forgiven in this process, which is, in a sense a one-time income windfall. Tax law calls it a “deemed distribution.”
  • But under the new bill, companies like Charter Communications will be able to avoid paying taxes on forgiven debt until 2014. Even then, Paul will have until 2018 to pay it completely off.
  • Paul owns about half of Charter, so his share of the Charter Commuincations’  $8 billion debt forgiveness is around $4 billion. At a tax rate of 25%, Allen could avoid paying as much as $1 billion in taxes until 2014, tax expert Robert Willens told the WSJ.

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