Shelter that Snowflake.

Update:   Sent to me by ID10T Killer.  I cannot possibly imagine how you could get geekier than building an ALU using MineCraft.   That doesn’t mean “bad”, it just means “you don’t get very many dates, do you?”

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Just how much of a sad sack of sh*t do you need to be to think that your kid needs a “no-hit pinata”?

Me, I’m going to get my kids a harp-seal pinata, furred with real harp-seal fur.

This was originally over at Tacky Raccoons (Bunk Strutts).

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In a million years I could not stress enough how badly I need #5, The Walking Harvester, aka the Tree-Eating Robo-Spider

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Seanbaby over at Cracked.com put up a piece listing sex advice books… Page 2 is something else.  Definitely adult-oriented.  Funny as hell.

4 Great Sex Advice Books for People Who Hate Sex

#4 looks like a good way to die of a brain aneurysm, and I don’t mean the good kind.

7 Sex Tips from Cosmo That Will Put You in the Hospital

Ah, what the hell.  We’re on “Sex” tonight so let’s talk about “forbidden love”.

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And making paper out of elephant poop is a green thing to do… how?

…environmentally conscious company…

[snip]

After the poo is gathered, Flancman said it’s carefully rinsed with water, leaving only the fibrous materials from the grasses, bamboo and fruits the elephants have eaten but couldn’t digest.

Then… those fibers are thrown into a giant pot of boiling water to ensure an even more thorough cleansing and sterilization, leaving the fibers primed and ready to be made into paper.Once additional fibers from pineapple plants and trees are thrown into the all-natural mix to add thickness, [the] team separates the moist pulp into small cakes that are then spread over a mesh-bottomed tray and left out to dry naturally under the sun for several hours.Once dry, the cakes transform into sheets of paper, and Flancman and his crew are able to peel them off the tray and start making Poo Poo Paper products.

He said this tedious handmade process is repeated often, and in the end, the paper comes out sturdy and oatmeal-colored without a hint of stinkiness.

Oh!  They are allowed to dry naturally, which makes this a green process.  Right.  Got it.

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I made an awful, awful, awful mistake a month or so ago.  I like to cook and I made fresh mashed spuds using red potatoes.  My favorite, next to Yukon Golds.  So anyway, I slop some on my daughter’s plate, add a pat of butter, and a dollop of gravy from a pork roast on top.

Looking at Cruel Wife I said with a grin “There you go, girl, a ‘Volcano of Love’.”

More later…

Now, that didn’t sound NEARLY as obscene when I said it as when my daughter said tonight after finishing her mashed potatoes:

“Dad, I want another ‘Volcano of Love’.”

I looked at my wife, and she had the most evil grin on her face – the kind of evil grin that turns your bones gelatinous and makes your skin just wetly slough off and pile up on the floor.

I’m going to need a whole lot of serious therapy.

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Steampunk of a Different Sort

Was reading a funny editorial about a lady who went to Walgreens and started seeing it as a sex-toy store.

Then I went over to McGoo’s and saw this Steampunk Vaporinatorinator.  Waycool.

Then it hit me… Steampunk Sex Toys and Products.

Very first crack – gotta go to bed…

It hasn’t been aged, dirt mapped, adjusted in tone, and I want to put it in Scribus and make an old time advert out of it, with sepia tone and period text.

But you do recognize it as an extendible condom with a pressure gauge, right?

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Here Tonight.

No, not much funny happened.

What did happen was that there was shock, SHOCK I tell you, that another person actually dared to disagree with the Obamessaiah (“You lie!”).

The news isn’t special enough to even bring up except for one thing… even after all this last summer, somehow the media is surprised when someone dares to do anything other than genuflect or just lie there silently choking on their own vomit if they disagree with the big O.

But here’s where the gravy of the story comes in:

On the House floor where President Obama spoke just a half-day earlier, two words shouted by a Republican congressman reverberated louder than the finer points of the health care debate.

House Democrats seized on House rules Thursday to demand South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson offer a high-profile apology to President Obama for shouting, “You lie,” during the president’s health care address.

Wilson called the White House shortly after Obama’s speech to say he was out of line. The White House said early Thursday that the president accepted the apology.

But that did not put the issue to rest, and House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, also of South Carolina, asked Wilson to apologize on the House floor in front of his colleagues. The final vote of the day was held open by Democrats to give him an opportunity to do so, but he refused.

Democrats threatened to censure Wilson absent such an apology. So far they have not done it — but even though House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said earlier that a censure was not being considered, her top deputies kept it in the mix.

You get that?  Majority Whip Clyburn didn’t really want Wilson to apologize – that didn’t matter, obviously.  What he wanted was unfettered approval to beat the guy silly in public.  It was pure spite.

Wilson deserves credit for doing a good deed, instead.

Wilson apologized again Thursday morning, though he also says a massive loophole could wind up in the health care bill: no requirement to prove citizenship for health care coverage.

Among three House committees to pass bills for health reform, only one expressly bans federal funding for proving health coverage to illegal immigrants.

“The Congressional Research Service has indicated that indeed the bills that are before Congress would include illegal aliens,” Wilson said. “And I think this is wrong.”

Indeed, the nonpartisan Congressional Research Service study found that the House health care bill does not restrict illegal immigrants from receiving health care coverage.

House Republican Minority Leader John Boehner amplified the complaint that without proof of citizenship, illegal immigrants could be insured.

Another link at NewsMax.

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The Dude passed on a great “You Scare Me” list from some guy named Saul regarding zerObama.

He also passed on a link to Obama’s new regulatory czar,  Cass Sunstein, and his crack-smoker ideas.  This czar stuff has got to go.  Otherwise the next thing you know we’ll have czars in running the country with absolutely no concrete political experience, like our president.

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If you can grow tumescent over something like this, you’re a geek all right.  

Steel velcro…

Rock on, dudes.

I’m totally emotionally erect when it comes to…

Transparent Duct Tape.

And the wording on the roll says it is easy to use!  Geez, duct tape was already easier by an order of magnitude than Redneck Sex™, how could it get any easier?

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Speaking of uncomfortable things… who leads when these two dance?  Is it decided by height, body-fat, rock-paper(vodka)-scissors, or what?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Seriously, these two creep me out no matter what.

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The Limeys are Loons… They’re All Quite Mad, I Tell You…

Can’t make this stuff up.  I would say the bushes have certainly been encouraging wild-life.

I thought I had seen it all.  Turns out, I really really don’t want to see it all.   This isn’t discrimination, it’s public indecency.

Plans to clear undergrowth from gay sex spot branded discriminatory

By Richard Alleyne

Last Updated: 8:22AM BST 08/07/2008

A council has been accused of discriminating against homosexuals over plans to clear undergrowth from a notorious gay cruising spot.

Bristol City Council wants to prune bushes and remove cover from an area known as the Downs to improve the landscape and encourage rare wildlife.

But its own gay rights group has opposed the move, claiming that cutting back the bushes was “discriminating” to homosexual men who used the area for late night outdoor sex known as dogging.

Work on the beauty spot has been temporarily delayed while talks with gay rights groups take place to try and break the deadlock.

Bristol City Council wants to prune bushes and remove cover from an area known as the Downs to improve the landscape and encourage rare wildlife.

But its own gay rights group has opposed the move, claiming that cutting back the bushes was “discriminating” to homosexual men who used the area for late night outdoor sex known as dogging.

Work on the beauty spot has been temporarily delayed while talks with gay rights groups take place to try and break the deadlock. [The whole story…]

The fact that they temporarily delayed the work based on an excuse like this is… well… LOONEY.

Pop Quiz:  Doc Savage refers to dogging (mentioned in the article) as ________?

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Let’s be fair to our British friends (for they are indeed our friends)… they haven’t cornered the market on Looneyism.  Please don’t get me wrong – I have gay and lesbian friends who I would willingly without reservation give my right arm for, but some of this stuff is weird no matter who you hear it from.

The expectation that someone should be sued for what the BIBLE says? Oh please.

‘Gay’ man sues Bible publishers
$70 million for emotional distress because homosexuality cast as sin

A homosexual man who has a blog on Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign website is suing two major Christian publishers for violating his constitutional rights and causing emotional pain, because the Bible versions they publish refer to homosexuality as a sin. [More…]

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This is not a blogpost about gay/lesbian bashing. I just found two articles back to back that were, well, Looney. Different topics from here on out.

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The rest of tonight’s posting will be on the “Puncture Chronicles” page, but after I do an hour or two more work tonight. LATE posting.

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Like Your Gun…?

If you do, please, vote in an informed manner. Or if you can’t do that, just don’t bother to show up. Obama is just as facile with a lie as Hil/Bil.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0408/9722.html

Oh, yes, I forgot…

Oil and rice race to record levels

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/0e7ca76a-0d68-11dd-b90a-0000779fd2ac.html?nclick_check=1

Not to get all hysterical and everything, but next consider that Stratfor made note of the fact that there’s three US carriers in the region not too far from China, one paying a call to port at Hong Kong.

Not saying anything but put it in the background there…

For fun, here is a Maxine comic. I have no idea if it is a real one by the artist or whether it was done by someone else. If it is yours, claim it and we can work out whether I may continue to post it here. I’m posting it because it’s fun, not ’cause I’m saying it is mine or making money off of it. Think of it as advertising for free!

She cracks me up. Caustic. I picture Ann Coulter being much like her someday.

– LK

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