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Posts Tagged ‘snow’

The main post is below this impromptu Lemur Life Story…

aliceteach over at DPUD has a great post about Frank Miller for Toddlers.  That won’t make sense if you haven’t seen Sin City, but go watch the movie she put there.

My comment there was:  At least at that age you can say “Oh, look at the funny looking rubber ball!” and almost (sometimes) get away with it.

It reminded me of a time in college when my roommates and I, in a fit of boredom and an innate desire to be obnoxious (alcohol may have been a factor), crafted in the dark of night a (anatomically correct) 7 or 8 foot tall (erect) male phallus-thing.  The wording was chosen to avoid certain Google searches .

We poured bucket after bucket of water on this thing and had a layer of ice that was inches thick over the whole thing.

The next day we got pictures of each other sitting on one or the other of a pair of giant testes, and I had one of myself sitting there, proud as can be, complete with the full-arm cast I had for several months.  Shown below is a very good friend from those college days, and we’ll call him… OldEnglish800… for reasons which I will not divulge at the moment.

OldEnglish800, feeling teste, face blurred for his own good.

Women were driving by our house and every few minutes a car would honk and chicks would yell “Whooooo!”   It went on for hours until someone got cheesed and called the cops.  We denied that it was ours and the cops decided to get in a workout with their clubs.  They were extremely tired after trying to break several cubic feet of ice with nightsticks and had some firefighters come and loan them some axes.  They were not too happy with us, but as future events unfolded we became much more closely involved with them.  They had our number.   That’s another story.

I took the picture back home for the Christmas holiday.  The family was laughing over it and my grandmother comes in and says “What’s so funny?”

Immediate silence.  A hush came over the room as we all panicked and thought as one, “What the hell is the right thing to say and could someone else please say it so I don’t have to?

It got kind of awkward after about ten seconds with the ten or twelve of us sitting there as if we were Bambi frozen in the middle of the road by the Pork Chop Express’ lights.

The pressure was building… building… and suddenly my aunt jumped up explosively and said “LOOK MOM!  HERE’S A PICTURE OF LEMUR SITTING ON PART OF A GIANT SNOWMAN!  Isn’titsillyhowhe’soutinthesnowandcoldwithoutaproperjacketandthatcastuncovered?”  Then she started hyperventilating, gasping for breath.

We held our collective breaths, waiting for the moment that our almost-octegenarian matriarch would figure it out and come unglued.  Believe me, a 4′ 11″ matriarchal ungluing is not something you want to witness more than once in your life.

She turned to me, looked me squarely up and down, frowned, and said “Lemur, why are you going out in the winter without a coat?  You could get pneumonia!”

I shook my head in shock and said “Well, Gram, I don’t know what I was thinking.  I guess I was so excited about building a snowman I forgot it.  It only got down to 8F that day so it wasn’t like it was viciously cold.”

My Gram walked out of the room muttering about how terrible I was taking care of myself and again, as one, ten or twelve of us went for our drinks and had doubles.

Goes to show you – octegenariansn and toddlers can be easily deceived at times, but you can’t depend upon it.

****

Now, for the original posting material…

Titled:  Oh.  Yeah, this means goodbye, I guess.

Harold Camping, Doomsday Priest, has apparently stuck by his prediction that Tomorrow (Friday, October 21, 2011) will be The Day We Die.

Don McLean sings softly in the background:

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?

I’m pretty sure that the Rev. Camping has not cleared his bank account or sold his house yet again, despite the rather obvious need to spend money like there was no tomorrow in order to save the last few souls.  I’d say if he is enlightened as he says he is, it shows a remarkable lack of faith on his part when you look at the record of his behavior.  I’d also say the good Rev. Camping never actually read the Book of Matthew.  Just sayin’.

I started singin’,
“bye-bye, miss american pie.”
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, “this’ll be the day that I die.
“this’ll be the day that I die.”

But, wait… the old fella suffered a stroke (but didn’t die) in June, which seems awfully soon after The World That Refused to Die Event (May 21st, 2011).  Does that not seem like a pretty convenient way to shutter yourself away from a world full of derision, mockery, and in the case of the gypped people, betrayed anger?

Yup!  It does to me, too!

Yeah… I hear what you’re saying, Camping, but no offense… you’re a f***ing loon.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

When you look at all  the nice well-intentioned folks (but stupider than a bag of hammers) that gave this screwball all their money and gave away their savings and gave up homes, it becomes obvious that another part of American Pie would seem to fit the good Rev. Doomsday.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

Don’t read anything into this.  I just really like the song and I thought it would be fun in conjunction with mocking the Doomsday Priest, is all.   I’ve often wondered what McLean meant in the lyrics but I don’t obsess about it.  It’s a catchy tune.

I was a Jim Beam man, after Tanqueray Gin, of course.  I don’t like Rye though.  Blech.

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Global Warming is getting thick here in Michigan.

It’s only 8-9 inches.  But I hate this heavy wet snowy snow stuff.  I’m reduced to watching Cruel Wife run the snowblower – which REALLY gets under my skin.  It’s not right.  It’s like wimmen running a BBQ.

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Terrible thing to be born w/o a spine because you get egged on by your friends to go kick some old guy’s ass, and get yours whupped instead.  Terrible thing to be beset upon like that just because you threatened an old guy with bodily harm several times.  What’s this racist world coming to?  Can’t a brother just kick some cracker’s ass for sayin’ something he don’t like the sound of?

Note:  That was meant to be sarcastically mocking.

Guess not.  Thanks Gaius at the magicnegrowatch.blogspot.com for posting that (and for Amusing Bunni for bringing it to light).

Read Gaius’ mission statement:

I am not a Republican, I am a Conservative and I have this never ending nagging distrust of liberals, particularly white liberals. White liberals are a bunch of phony socially retarded trifling people who lack even the most basic form of common sense. My blog is my tiny little weapon against liberal nonsense and stupidity. If you find this blog offensive, then you are exactly the type of individual who needs to be reading it. If you have the guts to confront a black man who does not follow the liberal prescription for success in America by bitching and whining about how much the government should “care” then make your voice heard. It’s easy to visit and hang out on a blog where only people of one particular political persuasion congregate and where your narrow little myopic view is appreciated and accepted. If you are a liberal and particularly if you are white try and educate yourself to something other than what you were taught at some university by some idiot Birkenstock wearing professor. All black people don’t think alike I’m living proof. Contact me at negrovillesnoop@yahoo.com

I do so like a guy who isn’t afraid to be who the hell he wants to be!  And I am doubly happy that he goes out of his way to make the distinction between Republican and Conservative.  Well played, Sir, well played.

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We’ll do it in the spirit of bipartisanship unless you disagree with us in which case we’ll sink you.

In the course of unveiling Obama’s new health reform proposal on a conference call with reporters this morning, White House advisers made it clearer than ever before: If the GOP filibusters health reform, Dems will move forward on their own and pass it via reconciliation.

The assertion, which is likely to spark an angry response from GOP leaders, ups the stakes in advance of the summit by essentially daring Republicans to try to block reform.

“The President expects and believes the American people deserve an up or down vote on health reform,” White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer said on the call.  –   theplumline.whorunsgov.com

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Going to keep it short since the kids wore us out.  They were so keyed up that nothing would chill them out all day long.

I just want to point out that AGW is a real phenomenon.

2/3rds of the US is now blanketed in Global Warming.  Looks like Wisconsin, Minnesota, N. & S. Dakota, Montana, and a few other spots got as much as 30 inches or more of Global Warming.

Dallas, Texas got it’s first Global Warming in 80 years.

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Obama apologists (read: ass lickers) are busy making articles meant to buoy Obama up.

I know, you may be thinking “Geez, Lemur King, it’s Christmas – be charitable.”

I am being charitable.

There are several fundamental reasons for Mr Obama’s problems, and they will persist in 2010. First, he and his aides failed to anticipate just how brutal the recession would be and the devastating scale of job losses that have swept America.

As a result polls strongly suggest he has over interpreted his mandate. US voters are obsessed with two things: jobs, and the exploding deficit. It is now so huge – $1.4 trillion and counting – that it has become a dominant issue.

Here’s where the BS gets a bit thick.

Last year, many voters backed Mr Obama believing they were sending to the White House a left-of-centre pragmatist who would transform Washington by bridging the partisan divide. Instead, many have been unnerved – even frightened – by Mr Obama’s belief that gargantuan short-term spending is the long-term answer to America’s economic woes.

Must… find… dramamine.  Must… get… barf… bag…

  1. “Many” means less than half.  Sure, a lot of people were stupid enough to believe Mr. Teleprompterlympics but a lot were voting for anyone who could not possibly be anything like Bush.
  2. What he got was far from a mandate.  Nothing at all like it.
  3. Obama and his aids have failed to anticipate just about everything except for what they needed for their White House social functions.
  4. “Left of Center”???  Geez, that is like saying sewers can be odiferous.  He is the furthest damn thing from center that you can possibly get, and he’s a thug of a leftist at that.

****

Damn I hope they find someone to adopt this kid.  Moral flexibility towards people of this sort should be instinctive on just about anyone’s part.  Two month olds should not have 20 broken bones and a fractured skull.

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Update: Say what you will of Bush, but he does care.  Plus the WSJ had an article some time back that I saved, and I saved it so it could not be forgotten as he leaves office and the Obamessaiah moves in.  (PDF file below)  Don’t get me wrong, he’s done a lot of stuff that I could not and cannot agree with, but the general treatment of him has been pretty damn poor.

wsj-treatment-of-bush-has-been-a-disgrace

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Here’s Zoe… six months old and full of pee, vinegar, bad habits, and a ginormous big heart.  (All pics will grow if you click them.)

zoe-snowdog

Me and dog.   It has taken a lot of work to protect my Mr. Incredible secret identity, hence the black bar.

stranger-and-zoe

Yes, it’s a 4×4 Jeep.  Yes, I could have driven to work.  But why, when you can telecommute?  Actually, a huge amount of time was wasted trying to get dug out.

snowed-in

Physically, I paid for that.  Paid and paid and paid.  Am still paying.  My neck is out.  What else is new, right?  Damn it smarts tho!

Ah, another one of Zoe…

zoe-snowdog2

Now…  what to get Dad or the Husband for Christmas?

Hint:  Get him something that you already have the money budgeted and/or set aside already.  Just plunking down the credit card for a spendy toy is not doing him favors, it’s just aging him prematurely.  No wonder we die first.  We want to.

  1. Tools.  Give him an envelope with cash in it marked “For Tools Only”.
  2. Games (proof that this is necessary is shown  here)
  3. Toys that blur the line between “dad’s” and “the kids”
  4. If you can’t give him a teenager to mow the lawn in time for this upcoming spring, AND can afford it, this is pretty sweet. (look for the robotic lawn mower)
  5. A universal remote.  Like this sports-car of a remote.  Ooooh, sexy!
  6. Don’t take this one personally, but he doesn’t always want to listen to y’all babbling, the dog grunting as it craps on the floor, wife’s girlfriends griping about their husbands, the telephone, or the kids fighting.  Noise canceling headphones.
  7. Gift certificates!  Know a place he loves and get him a gift certificate.  Most dads/husbands/boyfriends/guys do not really talk about what they have been wanting.  They just don’t natter on like females!
  8. This might actually be useful
  9. Trust me.  We want one.

Ways to kill your dad faster with useless or really annoying gifts.  We’re talking a critical fail or fumble.  No saving throw.

  1. A deed to an acre of the Pacific Ocean.
  2. Michael Bolton CD’s.  Any of them.
  3. Extra-small condoms.
  4. Calendars with cats.  Unless he likes them.
  5. One of these.  Definitely an insult with a bow.
  6. Likewise

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Climate *Change*

Climate change is such a bitch.  We dumped out all this CO2 and the world is freezing slowly, just like they said it would.

Earliest snow since 1898 in Boise, ID.

Note:  If you haven’t noticed by now, I mock Globular Worming idiots in any way I can.  Also noteworthy, when I make arguments the other way like in this post, I don’t believe that, either.  I think that anything we can possibly measure in our lifetime is statistically insignificant.  Show me a 150 year trend (at a minimum) and I might actually notice you.  Show me a 300-500 year trend and I’ll actually listen and give you a bit of my time.  Anything less and you’re wasting my time – except the time it takes to mock you.

The problem with noticing short trends, by the time you actually note that they are there, the trend has usually passed you by.  Like… OH!  Recent events???

More later…  I have guests coming.  A good guest.  A guy who kept me sane when I was loaned out for a space instrument project years ago.  A voice of calm and reason.   And he’s bringing sausages to grill so he’s got top billing today.

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