How does it feel to be the world’s biggest wanker?

Before we go into losers and art, here is a heartfelt thank you to all veterans for allowing those of us who haven’t served to have the wonderful country we do.

That’s the long and the short of it.  Thank you.

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The man says he’s addicted to sausages.

Drug addicts crave their fix, and it’s the same for me – except my drug is a banger.   – Sausage wanker David Harding

Well, what the hell man isn’t?

But I’ll tell you this:  We don’t run about whining about it and wasting money on psychotherapy and hypnosis in order to stop.

We just die ten years earlier than our spouses and count it a fair bargain.

Real men look down upon sad sacks like this and wonder if stem cells will allow them to someday grow this guy a spine in a petri dish.

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I’m glad that people have liked the Coelacanth Eco-dollars Coffee Mug.  It makes me glad when someone drinks coffee with an endangered critter.  There are more styles (denominations) of coffee cups to be had, so feel free to see if there’s something you like or suggest a different one.

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More later…

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Big Baby.

Update:

Obama, honey… is it supposed to be this soft?

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I have heard of Adult Babies before.  Paraphilic Infantilism.

Let’s pretend that this guy has written to Dr. Lemur for his advice on how to handle society’s bias against PI’s.

Dear Dr. Lemur,

I am an adult baby.  I am thirty and a half years old.  I am being told by adults that being given money by the government for my condition is wrong.

I wrote to the Washington Times the following letter:

“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.

I cannot believe that they would put my diaper and formula money in jeopardy.  Where would I and Nana Sandra go if our disability checks were to go away?

Can you offer suggestions to make them take me seriously?

Sincerely,

Stanley

PS:  I have also sent a picture of me and Nana Sandra while I was having an afternoon snack.

Dr. Lemur, do you have anything you would like to say to Stanley Thornton Jr’s letter?

Dear Stanley,

First, your condition is one of the oddest affectations going.  I am frankly surprised that you have been allowed to continue on in this vein for so long.  I am even more surprised at how piss-poor of a job your parents did in raising you, you incredible black hole of need, you.

Sadly, your bizarre fetish has only been strengthened by the National Geographic, where you have been given a sensationalized spotlight center-stage position.

Sadder still is that many of our troops have died and sacrificed for so much freedom, which includes your little self-involved world where you are allowed to be as useless as a human being can be and still breathe, and all that while you are paid to do it on the backs of people who work for  a living.  The odds are very high that you are loathed throughout any cross-section of the military or society in general that you choose to investigate.

I would like to suggest that you either (a) grow up in a hurry and get a job like everyone else as opposed to being a useless sack of shit, or (b) get yourself a nice on-line body bag, zip yourself in it, and duct tape a gallon-sized bag over your head.  Either way is a win for taxpayers who already take your personal character flaws and failings seriously, and who will dance in the streets as you leave behind your pathetic lifestyle and embrace your future (whichever road you feel you must travel after your pathetic ass is removed from society’s feeding trough) rather than a bottle and a soggy diaper.

In other words Stanley – stop being a dickhead and become a worthwhile part of society or leave it.  You choose.  Ultimatums should never be given if you aren’t completely willing to follow through with your threatened behavior.  Go ahead Stanley, get serious.  Step up or zip up.

Sincerely disgusted,

Dr. Lemur

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Milquetoasts Will Rule the World!

Or is it Milquetostes? Can’t recall. Anyway

Inmate paralyzed in escape attempt sues

SCRANTON — An inmate paralyzed in a daring prison escape is suing the warden and other county officials over his post-accident care.

Scott Bolton, 44, was paralyzed from the waist down in October 2003 when he fell about 50 feet from a seventh- floor window.

Bolton, a suspected thief of all-terrain vehicles, and murder suspect Hugo Selenski were trying to escape from the Luzerne County Correctional Facility using a rope made of bed sheets. Bolton was quickly captured after his fall to a lower roof, while Selenski fled but surrendered after a three-day manhunt.

Bolton, now serving an 8-1/2 to 17-1/2-year state sentence, claims in the federal suit filed Wednesday that county prison employees mistreated him afterward. Acting as his own attorney in filing the suit, he cites two instances in which he says he was injured while staff tried to help him shower.

Original Story Here

We had a lot of good movies:

• Escape from Alcatraz
• Green Mile
• Shawshank Redemption
• The Last Castle

Don’t convicts have any role models anymore? I don’t remember any of them botching the escape quite so badly or later suing because of mistreatment while staff had to shower them. Perhaps they would have benefited from having better parents who could teach them right and wrong and how to behave like a man while in prison.

Aside from that…

Please, for a good laugh, go visit Absolute Moral Authority on this page and look for a graphic captioned “Bastidges”

Embrace your inner retard. I have.

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