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Posts Tagged ‘weird’

I had no idea that Vegans were so into eating their used condoms. Plus that hardly seems Vegan at that point, but if they want to eat certified Vegan used condoms rather than synthetics, more power to ’em, I guess.

Leave it to Vegans.

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Those French.

I was disgusted at this frenchman’s choice of white beans when a sensible portion of haricot verts with a shallot and almond butter makes more sense.

But white beans with Frenchman is just pedestrian and frankly, crude.

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I have seen two beheadings now and multiple executions by other means and I have to say beheading is one of my least favorite choices of how I would want to die personally, but if you run with the crowd that thinks this is cool stuff I am not too worked up if you die that way yourself. Getting beheaded by your own side when they mistake you as the enemy? Priceless.

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Society has something wrong with it. I am sure of it. When entertainment consists of targeting total strangers to see if you can sucker punch them into unconsciousness in one blow… You have issues.
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Obamacare is burdened by low income and higher risk people and requires the healthy and affluent to finance it. It is also dangerously close to tanking because it is not adequately funded. So we need more people to keep the premiums down!

Let’s add millions of illegal immigrants, because they will represent the biggest pool of healthy and wealthy people that will put more into the system than they take out.

Yeah, amnesty is key to making it work. Let’s see… What else? OH YEAH! I am pretty sure gun control, additional NSA funding, and more HomeSec bullets, armor, vehicles, crowd control, and facial recognition systems (drones go w/o saying) are also key to making Obamacare work.

From my BIL…

20131116-142917.jpg

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Is this classy to make a giant flip-the-bird statue up and point it at your ex wife after you moved into the house next to your ex wife’s boyfriend?

No, but I still applaud him. The bitch.

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Crypto-Taxidermy

Merry Thanksgiving.

[Insert_Usual_Tidings_Here]

We’re having beef and turkey tamales.  From scratch.  Lard, masa, meat, corn husks, and hot steam.  The real way.

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I don’t know where Cruel Wife found this and I’m not about to ask.  Crypto-Taxidermists are bizarre folk and I don’t want to know if she knows ’em.

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Artificial eye lenses, but not the way we’ve done them for years.

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Stopping projectiles is a holy grail of sorts.

Not that shaped charges care much when it comes to larger rounds but when it comes to small-arms stuff this is pretty cool from the personal protection standpoint – and making it lighter weight is a bonus if you are on the move.

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Remember, your life could be far stranger than it is now.

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Ex-teacher says school officials told her to ‘train’ her breasts to not make milk at work.  This makes as much sense as telling Johnny to train his testes to lay off the sperm while going all the way with Suzie in the back of his GTO parked up by the lake after a few bottles of enhanced wine coolers.

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For those who don’t know me… that was sarcasm.

On the Life website…

Oh yeah… tires that light up.  From the inside.  (ok, this would be kind of cool at first)

Venetian sunglasses, for when your eyes want a little privacy.

When you’re willing to risk death for your invention, that is dedication.  When you’re willing to go to certain death for your invention, that’s just stupid.  Birdman costume.

Yes.  Yes this would work.  Now I can restrain my 30MW bundle-of-energy English Shepherd, Zoe.  My problems are solved with the Dog Restrainer.

Cigarette holder for two.  When you need this kind of intimacy you don’t need more of it, you need professional help.  Get all the psychiatric disciplines involved, while you are at it.

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Reuters brings us more science from London (apparently).

Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun world 100 and 200 meters record holder Usain Bolt in modern conditions.

Some Tutsi men in Rwanda exceeded the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters during initiation ceremonies in which they had to jump at least their own height to progress to manhood.

Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle.

Except for several key points.  Prehistoric man was about as intelligent as a brain-damaged guinea pig.   Prehistoric man died around age 25 if he was very very lucky to have lived that long.  Prehistoric man didn’t have SUV’s, DVR, answering machines, microwaves, Tito and Tarantula albums… hey, their life sucked.

These and other eye-catching claims are detailed in a book by Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister entitled “Manthropology” and provocatively sub-titled “The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male.”

Oh yeah, I’ll run right out and buy that.

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Telepromptitude.

From the Lemur King Dictionary of Idiocy:

Main Entry: tele•prompt•i•tude
Pronunciation: \ˈte-lə-ˌpräm(p)–tə-ˌtüd, -ˌtyüd\
Function: noun
Etymology: from TelePrompTer, a trademark
Date: 2009

: The ability or lack thereof to communicate with or without a TelePrompTer (see TelePrompTer)

Apparently our O-Messiah is unable to function in society without a teleprompter and his track record with one is seriously being called into question.

Michelle must be a very patient woman.  A wedding ceremony like this must have been upsetting.

Rev. Wright or some other racist minister:  Do you, Barack Obama, take this woman…

Obama:  I… Barack Obama… … look meaningfully to Michelle … take this… woman… look to reverend…

Wright:  … to have and to hold…

Obama: … take Michelle’s hand… to have… look to the side… and to hold…

(oh the humanity – LK)

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Obama’s TelePrompTer apparently has a lot to say that Obama is not relating.

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As much as I emotionally feel otherwise, the US Gov’t has no business passing new tax laws in a punitive fashion to take away bonuses given to AIG executives.  In case you haven’t kept up:

US House passes 90-percent tax on AIG bonuses... (Drudge)

It was part of their contract.  Yes it is obscene.  But it was legal and it is effectively a debt owed by the company, AIG.

“The Democratic bill brought to the floor today is constitutionally questionable,” said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind. “It’s obviously a transparent attempt to divert attention away from the truth that Democrats in Congress and this administration made these bonus payments possible.”

The bill would levy a 90 percent tax on bonuses paid to employees with family incomes above $250,000 at companies that have received at least $5 billion in government bailout money.

“We figured that the local and state governments would take care of the other 10 percent,” said Rangel.

Rangel, you utter pig.

For congress to pass a law thinly/narrowly targeted at these specific people with the intent to take all or nearly all of that specific money, especially in a punitive fashion… this is truly not a power given to congress.   This is totalitarianism.

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Typical of the liberal mindset… democracy is the best thing EVAH, at least until it doesn’t swing your way, in which case you demonstrate, dictate, or go to court.

Leading climate scientist: ‘democratic process isn’t working’

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You, too, can be the best serf that you can be.  Join Barack’s new elite corps of sheeple.

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Too fat to work?  Move to Britain and let the English Corps of Sheeple (ECS) take care of you, for you.  Trust us.  Soon to be coming to America.

A British family of four, who receives more than $30,000 a year in benefits because they are “too fat to work,” says they deserve more money, London’s Daily Telegraph reported.

The Chawners, who live in Blackburn, England, have a combined weight of 1,160 pounds.

What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table,” Philip Chawner, 53, told the newspaper. “It’s not our fault we can’t work. We deserve more.”

Note:  I’m pretty sure putting food on the table took precedence over paying the bills.  Ahem.

OOOPS.  It’s HERE ALREADY!!!  So what if you aren’t fit enough to meet your police force’s regs on health and fitness!  The courts can keep you there anyway.  It’s not his fault if he can’t catch a bad guy.  They’ll just send him after fat and out-of-shape crooks.

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Inventions that we could do without… cat wigs (huh?), inflatable dartboards (much like balloons for porcupines), and devices to let you know if you have collided with a pedestrian (the blood and body parts aren’t concrete enough indicators).


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