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Posts Tagged ‘women’

Dr. Lemur’s Steampunk Chocolate Geared for Women is now available on Zazzle.  It was designed to be smaller but if you want a larger version posted let me know.   Same goes for the matte finish – if you want the shiny stock (it’s cheaper) – let me know.  Some may prefer coffee cups, and you can find that option here.

And yes, I’m shamelessly plugging this.  I’m pretty pleased with it and it took some serious effort.

By the way – it might take a little time to filter through the Zazzle approval process (hour or so).

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This isn’t the final draft – you can tell because of the watermark that says “Not Final Draft” and the shplash of hot-pink in the lower right.  I would never release a final draft with a shplash of hot pink in the lower right.

(Yes, I said “shplash”)

But it gives you an opportunity to critique and make suggestions.  I’m all ears to things that could make it better.

Doesn’t the post title “Chocolate for Women” just sound absurd?  OF COURSE it is for women.  Heaven help you if you stand in the way.

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My pet peeve of the hour?  An article I read a few days ago.  It involves the inability of the news media to understand the difference between “getting the shit shocked out of you” and “electrocuted”.

A man was electrocuted Sunday night in Madison County while, police suspect, he was attempting to steal copper wire.

Three witnesses stated they were driving in Alton, Ill., when they saw the man screaming for help, badly burned and bleeding. Emergency medical personnel and police responded, and the man was transported to Alton Memorial Hospital before being airlifted to a St. Louis area hospital.

He did not die.  Therefore, he was not electrocuted.  Get a dictionary you idiot illiterate english/communications majors.

He may have died later (no clue given in the article) of burns or complications stemming from gross stupidity but he wasn’t killed by the electricity.

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A full week after this incident and I’m only just now able to comment on it in language that doesn’t involve me chewing on my tongue and frothing at the mouth.  Close, but I can get by now.

A Detroit father said agents with the Transportation Security Administration singled out his special-needs son for a pat-down while the family was headed to Disney World, MyFoxDetroit.com reported, an incident that the TSA admitted was a “case of bad judgment.”

David Mandy said agents at Detroit Metro Airport took his son Drew, 29, and asked him about the padding underneath his pants, which turned out to be adult diapers. Drew, who is severely mentally disabled, had trouble understanding the agents’ orders because his family said he has the mental capacity of a 2-year-old.

When the father tried to intervene and explain Drew’s disability, he said the two agents said, “Please, sir, we know what we’re doing.”

The agents confiscated a six-inch plastic hammer, something Drew had carried with him for 20 years for comfort. Agents called it a security threat, his father said, adding that they tapped the wall with it and said, “See, it’s hard. It could be used as a weapon.

The family was told they’d have to ship the hammer if they wanted to keep it, David Mandy said.

“I understand they’re trying to keep people safe,” Mandy said told MyFoxDetroit.com. “But come on, does he look like a terrorist?”

In a statement to FoxNews.com, the TSA said it’s reviewing the incident but early findings indicate this was an “isolated case of bad judgment.The TSA reached out to the Mandy family to apologize and said the man’s toy hammer should have never been confiscated.

“Isolated” case of bad judgement?  It sounds like only the latest in a long line of cataclysmically bad intrusions on American’s rights in the name of being fair to a bunch of muslim terrorists.

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Found this on Fark.  Cruel Wife cringed and went “oooh oooh oooh” in disgust as I read it to her.

She said “That doesn’t bother you?”

I told her that the only thing that kept me from creeping out was the outside possibility that an individual with actual prostate issues might have had a legitimate use but I didn’t think about the main uses that it was probably intended for.

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Update 2: 

I missed this but I found out from the wife…  Girlhead saw a few of the older vets in the Memorial Day parade and asked Cruel Wife “Mom, were those guys in the Army?”

“Well, they were in the Armed Services, all vets were.”

She said “Can I go thank them?”

“You sure can – let’s go.”

And so she did – walked up to one of them and said “Thank you.”

He smiled and said “You’re welcome.”

I would have said something deep and profound to Cruel Wife about that but at that moment something really huge flew in my eye.

Update:

My five year old son, missing all his front teeth as part of the “Planned Obsolescence of Childhood Schedule” (AKA “POCS” or just pronounced POX) just ran in and said lispingly “Girlhead is trying to give me a Texas Wedgie!”

I goggled at him.  “Not an atomic wedgie but… A… A… A Texas Wedgie?  That sounds like a really big wedgie!”

He said “Yeah!” and then he ran away.

Aggie, or some other Texas person… what is a Texas Wedgie?

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After a few discussions about the age that women claim to be I’ve done a bit of research.

This is an area of investigation fraught with peril and is like tapdancing in a minefield full of twisted metal, broken glass, angry rabid rodents, and… well… mines.

But for the sake of science I will publish my conclusions.  Men!  Who will stand with me?  Men?

Hang on, I must catch up with the others, for I am their leader.

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Thank you Fark, for recognizing this for what it really is:  NOT A CATASTROPHE THAT NEEDS FIXING.

Report: Over a third of students entering college need remedial help

Fark’s headline?

Report shows over a third of incoming college students need remedial help. Back in subby’s day, they used to say those people weren’t college material, not treat them like snowflakes and patronize them

At what point do you finally say “No the system didn’t fail the children, perhaps they just aren’t cut out for it”?

Put another way:  Not everyone is cut out to be an astronaut, a doctor, or a SEAL.  Suck on that Disney.

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Wow.  Someone in Missouri is on the lookout for the exploited strippers.

But Dick Bryant, a lawyer for Kansas City’s adult entertainment industry, said the clubs are following the law, in part because he claimed the dancers only appear to be topless. The exposed breasts, he said, are actually covered by a thin layer of opaque latex.

“Once they’re covered, none of the rest of the law applies,” Bryant argued.

Remember Blade Runner?

Deckard:    Excuse me, Miss Salomé, can I talk to you for a minute? I’m from the American Federation of Variety Artists.
Zhora:       Oh, yeah?
Deckard:    I’m not here to make you join. No ma’am. That’s not my department. Actually, uh. I’m from the, uh, Confidential Committee on Moral Abuses.
Zhora:        Committee of Moral Abuses?
Deckard:    Yes, ma’am. There’s been some reports that the management has been taking liberties with the artists in this place.
Zhora:        I don’t know nothing about it.
Deckard:    Have you felt yourself to be exploited in any way?
Zhora:        How do you mean, exploited?
Deckard:    Well, like to get this job. I mean, did you do, or- or were you asked to do anything lewd or unsavory or otherwise, uh, repulsive to your person, huh?
Zhora:        Ha. Are you for real?
Deckard:    Oh yeah. I’d like to check your dressing room if I may.
Zhora:         For what?
Deckard:    For, uh, for holes.
Zhora:         Holes?
Deckard:    You’d be surprised what a guy’d go through to get a glimpse of a beautiful body.
Zhora:        No, I wouldn’t.
Deckard:    Little, uh, dirty holes they uh, drill in the wall so they can watch a lady undress. — Is this a real snake?
Zhora:        Of course it’s not real. Do you think I’d be working in a place like this if I could afford a real snake? — So if somebody does try to exploit me, who do I go to about it?
Deckard:    Me.
Zhora:        You’re a dedicated man.

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Construction Worker #1:  … and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Construction Worker #2:  I feel like an object.

Construction Worker #3:  Me, too.  It’s like they don’t see me for who I really am. It hurts my feelings…

What?  Huh?  What happened?  I missed something…

Confused?  You should be.  Men and women are wired differently. This is not some male plot against femi-nazis everywhere, it’s just a statement of fact. Guys do NOT think like this. Simply put, if you don’t KNOW what I mean, it cannot be explained. Take my word for it. You can trust me…

You should be confused by this.

Officials at West Kent College in Tonbridge, Kent, sent an email to all pupils warning that the behaviour was “totally unacceptable”, and saying any students caught harassing contractors would face disciplinary action.

The email was sent after a demolition team started work on a £94 million, three-year building project at the campus.

The email read: “It has come to the attention of the college that some female students have been making comments to, or whistling at, the builders both whilst on site and as they walk around the campus.

“Although we are sure no offence is meant, this constitutes harassment and is wholly unacceptable

Show me one guy who would be upset at being whistled at by college chicks and I’ll eat your… (thinking, don’t rush me)… your… kimchi and rice.  He has GOT to be mentally damaged.

Whatever happened to the day when girls were girls and men were men?

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Just go look at it.  I can’t add anything.

Again. Nothing I can say.  Cool, but I can’t add to it.

If you have kids… this ought to work for ’em.  You’ll have to beat them to get them off your computer.

I can add to this. This engine is way cool for a lot of reasons.  Topmost is it is elegant, with a refreshing approach to design that makes me drool.  I think with a little work, a workable oil system wouldn’t be impossible.  But I’d need to sit and think on it for a bit.

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This is the Pièce de résistance of this post.  How to build a lucid dream machine.   You can’t make this stuff up.

I’ve had three lucid dreams in my life, none while on drugs, although one involved a fever.  I could walk through walls and went down to wake up my folks and just stood there while they slept, turned around, found my sister, didn’t want to wake anyone up so I went back and laid down on the couch.  This was with a 105F fever.

The other ties were just normal everyday “holy crap I’m dreaming and I’m in the driver’s seat.

But building a lucid dream machine?  Hmmph.

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Bizarre in the sense that people worry themselves about stuff like this. More concern about things that detract from real issues of today.

How English Is Evolving Into a Language We May Not Even Understand

By Michael Erard The targeted offenses: if you are stolen, call the police at once. please omnivorously put the waste in garbage can. deformed man lavatory. For the past 18 months, teams of language police have been scouring Beijing on a mission to wipe out all such traces of bad English signage before the Olympics come to town in August. They’re the type of goofy transgressions that we in the English homelands love to poke fun at, devoting entire Web sites to so-called Chinglish. (By the way, that last phrase means “handicapped bathroom.”)

But what if these sentences aren’t really bad English? What if they are evidence that the English language is happily leading an alternative lifestyle without us? (more…)

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Less bizarre…
I would jump on this in a heartbeat. ONLY IF the requirements in the US to get a driver’s license were three times as stringent.

If you find yourself crossing the road in the German town of Bohmte, look both ways – and then perhaps check again.

It has scrapped all its traffic lights and road signs in a radical experiment designed to make the streets safer. Yesterday, the local council said the scheme was a complete success.

In the four weeks since the signs were ripped up, there has not been a single accident.

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My buddy, The Dude, is married to a lady that, if she wasn’t sweet, nice, and decidedly sane, you would call her a “crazy cat lady”.  We will from here on out refer to her as Katt LadyKatt Lady and The Dude.  I like it.  Anyway…

She just loves cats.  They own a cat ranch, opting to keep the kitties outside but in nice warm bunks where they can come and go and are taken very good care of.  Their cats are legion.

Kinda cool, actually…  I think he could make this work for him.   Price of energy being what it is, he could offset the cost of Kat Fud.

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Watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos”.

A horse is making all these weird contortions with his mouth, teeth everywhichway, tongue out/over/roll, raspberry, lips everywhere.

Wife says “That’s one way to demonstrate flapping your lips.”

<pregnant pause>

I say, “Well, I’ll have you know that I’m showing hard-earned-wisdom by not responding to what you just said.”

<damn crickets chirp>

According to her… somehow, I have lost points. Am now barricaded in computer room. Send food. (wheat-free, on this new diet thing)

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