How to be a Stellar Spammer

There seem to be a few rules that really generate strong returns.  They are worth reading because I really respond well to these, myself.

1. do not use capital letters or punctuation because they distract
2. Incomplete sentences best
3. Grammer suck ass
4. Make the e:mail to an individual from that individual
5. Use catchy personal hooks like “shoot her in bed all night” or “First Class Hardons” or “Make Your Zipper Prominent.  Make Your Python Active.”
6. Appeal to the reader’s insecurities:  “Target Her G-spot!” or “Impotent Info” – because this stuff really is effective
7. Share knowledge like “Best Lust Recipe” or “Recipe of Hotter Lust”
8. Be endearing:  “Please Read, My Friend”
9. Make sure the spam appears to be coming from the recipient’s boss, requesting a homosexual tryst.
10. Send the same exact e:mail twice.
11. Send the same exact e:mail twice.
12. NEVER use spel check:  “Hey, read this rigth now!”
13. Tell the recipient the obvious:  “New message received.”
14. Add “-inator” to any word in the subject line.
15. Be obscure about… you know.
16. Use symbolics:  “Hi m8!”
17. Use the word “herbs” in the subject line.
18. Use nonsense sentences:  “My Revenge for Schollyears.”
19. Tell me about bad things:  “Your membership stopped”
20. Get manic about euphemisms:  “Hoisters for your Pork-Lever” or “Become her drillosaur!”
21. Shock:  “Ronald McDonald Gangbanged”
22. Interest them with a mystery: “Guess who I am.”
23. Fear:  “You’re fired.”
24. Appeal to the inner miser in your audience:  “Up to 75% on Rolex”
25. Curiosity:  “What Jolie’s underwear hides.”    (It’s a advert for cosmetics.  So I hear.)

Just a few simple rules.  You too can succeed.

Another Au Moment.

Speaking of golden moment… you haven’t lived unless you can die eating this.

Turbacoducken.  Oh.  My.  GOD.

Thank you, Corey James of BaconToday!

Seems like oyster stuffing is needed to bring it all together.

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Who knew that gold does indeed tarnish, and indeed corrode away?

Obama polls.  I have no idea where that picture came from but it’s going to be modified tonight.  Stay tuned.

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The Dude sent this to me, followed (after I said “it’d be funny if it wasn’t true”) by the link below that.

In an odd tone for the LA Times, usually the fountain of top-notch bullsh*t, they published this:

Jonah Goldberg on Hassan and stuff.

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I’m waiting for Obama to make a statement like “The white woman acted stupidly.”

University Prof clobbers University employee.

He could say that, you know, because it would not be jumping to conclusions.

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Winner of the “Awww, Isn’t That Cute?” award…

USB Memory

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Let me guess… liberals thought this up?  Or idiots.  But then I repeat myself.

North Carolina School Sells Test Scores to Students

GOLDSBORO, N.C. — Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A middle school in North Carolina is selling test scores to students in a bid to raise money.

The News & Observer of Raleigh reported Wednesday that a parent advisory council at Rosewood Middle School in Goldsboro come up with the fundraising plan after last year’s chocolate sale flopped.

The school will sell 20 test points to students for $20.

Students can add 10 extra points to each of two tests of their choice. The extra points could take a student from a “B” to an “A” on those tests or from a failing grade to a passing grade.  Principal Susie Shepherd says it’s not enough of an impact to change a student’s overall grades.

Officials at the state Department of Public Instruction say exchanging grades for money teaches children the wrong lessons.

Gee, do ya think???

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Okay, since we’ve (allegedly) messed up our climate through stupidity and inability to see the future, how could we possibly see the results of messing with the weather?

“No one can tell how much weather manipulation will change the sky,” Xiao Gang, a professor in the Institute of Atmospheric Physics at the Chinese Academy of Sciences, told the paper.

Wait… we can’t tell how much weather manip will change the sky?  So how do we know much of anything about climate behavior?  I thought we knew all there was to know, given the dire predictions facing us over the next century.  ???

Repent, for the End is Nigh. Er. Nigher. Er.

Update:

The alternate title on Drudge was “Who is to blame?“   The link takes you to NPR’s article titled “Answers Sought On Fort Hood Suspect’s Link To Imam”.

At what point in our nation’s history did we start asking stupid questions like this?  Who is to blame???  The ass who pulled the trigger and killed a bunch of good people, that’s who.

Let’s stop thinking “blame” beyond this guy and his actions.  Let’s then ask “Hmmm.  What might we do in the future to avoid this?”

I know the NPR article did not ask that question but I also know damn well there are politicians, reporters, the president, and generals all asking these questions as they try to assign blame and responsibility.  It starts and ends with the guy who pulled the trigger.

Now how do you make sure it doesn’t happen again?  This is a very bad mindset that we’ve slipped into – where we don’t recognize that people are responsible for their own actions and that not everything can be made safe.

Update 2:

Obama says Hassan may have cracked under the stress.

You know, I’ve been under obscene amounts of stress in my life, and I have yet to think that getting a gun and killing my buddies and co-workers was anything other than vile.  Stress does not make you contact Al-Qaeda.  Stress does not make you converse with violence-minded imams.

No, you have to be a special kind of asshole to do this.  Stop playing race issues, Obama.  White cops “acted stupidly” and now minority murderers are simply “stressed”.

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Was looking for some vector graphics tonight because making flourishes isn’t exactly worse than scrubbing toilets but it isn’t much better, either.

I came across some that were for nearly $100.  “Yoiks!” I said.  But then I saw that they were animated flourishes that not only got drawn over time but also changed shape and orientation.  Oh how very nice they were.

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Looks like Global Warming just keeps marching on.  Get thee behind me, you inconvenient truth, you.

According to NOAA…

National Overview:

Temperature Highlights – October

• The average October temperature of 50.8°F was 4.0°F below the 20th Century average and ranked as the 3rd coolest based on preliminary data.
• For the nation as a whole, it was the third coolest October on record. The month was marked by an active weather pattern that reinforced unseasonably cold air behind a series of cold fronts. Temperatures were below normal in eight of the nation’s nine climate regions, and of the nine, five were much below normal. Only the Southeast climate region had near normal temperatures for October.
• Statewide temperatures coincided with the regional values as all but six states had below normal temperatures. Oklahoma had its coolest October on record and ten other states had their top five coolest such months.
• Florida was the only state to have an above normal temperature average in October. It was the sixth consecutive month that the Florida’s temperature was above normal, resulting in the third warmest such period (May-October).
• The three-month period (August-October) was the coolest on record for three states: Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Five other states had top five cool periods: Missouri (2nd), Iowa (3rd) , Arkansas (5th) , Illinois (5th) and South Dakota (5th) . Every climate division in Kansas (nine) and Nebraska (eight) recorded a record cool such period.
• For the year-to-date (January – October) period, the contiguous U.S. temperature ranked 43rd warmest. No state had a top or bottom ten temperature value for this period.

Did you catch the importantest part?

It was the sixth consecutive month that the Florida’s temperature was above normal

Refute THAT, you naysayers.

It’s official. We’re a nation of wusses.

A deer somehow jumps into a lion’s cage at the zoo.

Observant co-worker Laconic Pup noticed this about the article:

“Everyone was cheering, ‘Go, go, go’ ” to encourage the deer to reach safety, witness Josh Shpayher said. “Everyone was rooting for the deer.”

Everyone?  Really?  Not one guy cheering on the lions?  We’ve gotten soft.

Yes.  Yes, we have gotten soft.

I responded to the distribution list:

LC has an excellent point. Very much the heart of the matter.

As recounted by witnesses, the deer, over as much as 20 minutes, was in and out of a moat while the lions clutched, clawed or swatted it. A crowd of spectators grew. Some shrieked, cried out or took children away.

How soft are we when parents can’t say “Here’s what happens in the wild. Fact of life.”?  My dad would have been pointing out how the lion is perfectly made to do the job of catching, killing, and eating that deer (or wildebeest, antelope, gazelle, liberals).

I think more people need to grow up on a farm, butcher their own rabbits and chickens. Geez, man up, people.

So, in order to continue everyone’s education, LC responded with more information:

According to Car-Accidents.com, there are about 150 human fatalities each year in the due to auto collisions with deer in the United States.  Anyone want to guess how many Americans are killed by lions each year?  I’m guessing somewhere around zero.  Clearly, the deer have it in for us, and we should be forming a strategic alliance with the lions to exterminate them.

Also, I’ve never seen a lion maul a deer at the zoo, but I have seen a monkey whip out his junk and start playing with himself two feet from the observation area.  The women turned their children away and the men all busted out laughing.  He knew EXACTLY what he was doing, too.  You should have seen the grin on his face.

I’ve never thought about the combination or context of “monkey junk” until now.  Thanks, LC.

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If only we had universal health care – that deer could have been saved rather than drive the lion (and contents of his stomach) to many local area hospitals and get turned down because neither had the proper insurance, Fleeting Ruminant Life or Predator Co-op Life-Choices.

The Hair Guy has an interesting way of putting things.  Clears up a lot of turgid waters that the Health Care Reform Stealth Package swims in.

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Report: Major Hasan Tried to Contact Al Qaeda

No, we certainly shouldn’t jump to any conclusions.

The president made the comments as the commander of Fort Hood, the US’s largest base for deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, quoted witnesses as saying the suspected gunman, Major Nidal Malik Hasan, shouted the Muslim declaration “Allahu Akbar” – God is great – as he opened fire. Speaking at the White House, Mr Obama said: “We don’t know all the answers yet, and I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts.”

I’m still waiting for the groundswell of condemnation from the hordes of moderate muslims.

Too Poor to Buy Health Care? Buy it or Pay $15,000.

So, the House passed a health care bill. A senior republican predicts they’ll pay a high price and the dems disagree with that notion.

But the Democrat in charge of defending his party’s majority in the House next year said Democrats took their cue Saturday from voters’ “message” in the 2008 election, which sent President Obama to the White House and strengthened Democratic majorities in Congress. Rep. Chris Van Hollen, D-Md., head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, said voters were upset that Republicans “did nothing” about issues like health care while they were in power and wanted Washington to step up to the plate.

Funny but none of them really get it.  It wasn’t a mandate for the democrats, it was a rallying against the republicans.  One year.  The clock is ticking and there is one year in which they must try to do as much damage as possible before they are voted out.

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Oh?  It’ll cost $15K just to buy it?  The penalties are even higher?

With logic that is breathtaking, the Democrats have plunged and rushed in where even fools fear to tread.

According to the Congressional Budget Office the lowest cost family non-group plan under the Speaker’s bill would cost $15,000 in 2016.

Another shining example of just how naive I can be – I could not picture how anything could be stupider than the health care plans we’ve seen already.   I have been clueless, because these iron-fisted idiots have stupid down to a high art form.

Today, Ranking Member of the House Ways and Means Committee Dave Camp (R-MI) released a letter from the non-partisan Joint Committee on Taxation (JCT) confirming that the failure to comply with the individual mandate to buy health insurance contained in the Pelosi health care bill (H.R. 3962, as amended) could land people in jail.  The JCT letter makes clear that Americans who do not maintain “acceptable health insurance coverage” and who choose not to pay the bill’s new individual mandate tax (generally 2.5% of income), are subject to numerous civil and criminal penalties, including criminal fines of up to $250,000 and imprisonment of up to five years.

In response to the JCT letter, Camp said:  “This is the ultimate example of the Democrats’ command-and-control style of governing – buy what we tell you or go to jail.  It is outrageous and it should be stopped immediately.

This has gone from being “just a bad idea” to “downright scary in scope and ignorance of economics”.

The Politics of Pissiness for the Sake of Spite.

So, liberal leaders are now leaning on the moderates in their party.

“Criticism from liberals is almost a political endorsement here,” said Loree Bykerk, a political science professor at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. Moderate Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., is among those targeted.

Even so, the liberal MoveOn.org said that in a survey of its 5 million members, 93 percent said the group should not support Democrats who are on the same side as Republicans when it comes to a health overhaul. “No donations, no volunteering and no help getting out the vote,” MoveOn said in an e-mail last week.

Hmm.  Ok, check to make sure there are no obstructions in your weapon – clear anything foreign that might cause a jam.  Now lever in a cartridge, click the safety off, point the weapon downwards, and pull the trigger while it is aimed squarely at your foot.  Repeat five or six times until you pass out.

Please.

Please do so.  I really want to see spoiled rotten crybabies get so angry about not getting everything they want that they engage in internecine warfare.  Don’t like your allies’ choices?  Well, screw ‘em!  Yeah!  That’ll serve them right.  Then they’ll be sorry when there’s a 30% turnover in the democratic ranks, that’ll… what?  Well, we didn’t mean for them to leave!!

Included that snippet above because I found it on Yahoo.  ABC-News is running news articles that are less than gushing with the breathy sounds of swelling bosoms.  Hell, the NEW YORK TIMES has run articles critical of this current establishment of whiny arrogant liberals, and has even broached the taboo topic of voters being less than thrilled with the O’Messiah.  For such a bunch of big talkers about being fair and open-minded and their willingness to bridge divides, reach across the aisle, work together in the spirit of bipartisanship… they’ve really done not much more than be a bunch of loud bullying assholes.

I wonder if they have noticed that people are more aware of what a financial failure MediCare/Aid is than they thought, and if they have noticed that their claims of budget neutrality draw no believers.  All those claims result in are more potential swing-to-the-right votes.

Ready.  Aim.  Fire.  Repeat.

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Hey!  Let’s make it even worse!  Let’s let everything really go sideways and require businesses to pay employees for their enforced sick leave!   Man, we could be as socialist as any country in Europe faster than you ever thought possible.  Just think what the cumulative idiocy of voters in the last election has been able to bring to fruition.

Especially those who contributed to this insanity – may you get what you so richly deserve.

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Health care is expensive? More so than you could ever imagine if all you did was read the House Health Bill, it seems.

The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimated in its study last week that the House bill would bring in $167 billion over 10 years — $33 billion from fines paid by individuals who decline to buy insurance, and the rest from employers who don’t offer insurance to workers or contribute enough toward premiums.

Ernest Istook … a fellow at the conservative Heritage Foundation, calculated that anywhere between 8 million and 14 million people would end up paying the fines.

This raises a few problems, he said. First, if those millions somehow get covered and don’t pay the fine, then the health program is faced with a budget hole.

Second … it speaks to a flaw with the insurance packages that are being offered. “If you say people would rather pay $167 billion in penalties rather than buy insurance under your new plan, what’s wrong with your new plan?” he asked.

The answer, Istook said: “It’s expensive.”

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This is how the US should work.  If you don’t impact anyone else so they have to deal with your sh*t, then live free and no one to bother you.  But if your sh*t means that it is now your neighbor’s sh*t to deal with…?  Fix it or move.  Sometimes I get to say:  What a great country we live in!  And no one had to take it to a high court with bazillions of appeals.  Does a $100/day fine seem a bit steep without first giving a grace period?  Yeah, but if the laws were already on the books about a 3-cat limit…  Seriously, how many cats do you need?  If you have 30 cats and they pose no problem, have at!  If you have two and they crap on the neighbor’s veggies and chew on their herb garden, it’s a problem.

Having more than 3 cats now requires a license

DUDLEY —  Voters last night added language to a town bylaw that will make it illegal to own more than three cats without a kennel license, though Selectman Steven Sullivan said housing three felines was already a violation.

The article came after a neighborhood feud over cats owned by Mary Ellen Richards of Kennedy Drive.

Some of Mrs. Richards’ 15 cats are allowed outside, and one neighbor said the cats have ruined his yard.

The discussion at town meeting last night had Mrs. Richards warning residents that the $100 per day fines being imposed on her could also be imposed on them if they fail to get kennel licenses for their pets.

She has put her home up for sale and plans to move to a “more cat-friendly community,” but vowed to fight the fines.

— Kim Ring

There’s a lesson here that you rarely heard mentioned anywhere.  If people would take more responsibility and see to it that what they do doesn’t impact others, all these many many laws wouldn’t even need to be on the books.  Just sayin’.

 

When is Art No Longer?

As I said, I’ve been feeling artsy again.  A friend of mine who goes by the name Fossilips is a pretty good photographer – really good.  She manages to catch images of this squirrel outside of her place that she suspects drinks tequila and smokes cigarettes.  So I took one of her images and… viola.

Damned if the little bugger doesn’t drink tequila.  I’ll catch him smoking cigarettes next.

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I’ve been artistically jump-started lately.  As I’ve been wandering around deviantART and ConceptArt (and many many seedy places and great places, too) I’ve run across this theme now and then:

Some Guy Whose Name is Omitted Here says:

December 18, 2008 at 12:04 pm

those are all really fantastic, but i can’t help but feel saddened that we are in a sense automating our creative processes. it makes you wonder to an even greater extent, if art you see was forged out of hard work and love, or simply ‘photoshopped’ =/

I’m pretty sure someone said the same stupid thing when film was first being used, too.  It was probably said when the first artist to use mass-produced bullwhips took a photo of himself with it stuffed up his arse, rather than make his own bullwhip from a cow he grew from a calf born after mounting and impregnating the mother cow himself.

Think, people.  Think.

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Fox News called today.  It was a poll.  They asked Cruel Wife some questions and asked her about her feelings towards the health care reform issue.  She told the lady, who was shocked and surprised that someone had the intelligence to say “On what basis, constitutionally, does Congress believe they are authorized to do this?”

Natch, Cruel Wife said that she listened to Yours Very Truly, and agrees with the Glorious Lemur King’s feelings on the matter 100%.  Which is good since the Lemur King is a verifiable genius.

NBWB: Nose Broken While Brown-nosing.

If this NEA suck-up tries any harder to get his nose up Obama’s ass he’s going to snap it off and require a nasal transplant.

Most powerful writer since Julius Caesar?

Damn, man… I mean… DAMN.  Have some self respect, m’kay?

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If this guy sinks any lower, in terms of what he’s willing to endure, he’ll be just another typical Obama supporter.

The Holy Grail.

Update:

The Dude sent me a link to this.  You see he and I love Pulp Fiction.  It’s pathetic really, but there it is.  Cruel Wife isn’t so hot on Pulp Fiction but she says she can appreciate parts of it – can’t wait to see what she thinks of the Broadway Musical version of it.

(And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers)

So here is a remix for Pulp Fiction…

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Update #2:  Very VERY good reason to hope that Barney Frank is removed from office soon.  Him and all of his ilk.

'We Are Trying On Every Front To Increase The Role Of Government'...

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If you haven’t read the reviews on Amazon (dot com) for the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket by Wattgate, you should drop whatever you are doing and do so now.  Amazing testimonials, all.

A review read thusly:

Yesterday the hospital called me. My grandmother had had a car accident, and was in surgery. I rushed there, and a nurse friend of mine (bow-chicka-wow-wow) got me into an observation room off the OR. I watched my grandmother’s heartrate flatline. The crash cart rushed over, and instead of a defibrillator there was a Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket and a screwdriver. I watched, still in shock as they placed the screwdriver into my dying grandmother’s hand, and carefully guided her hand to the socket and had her insert the screwdriver into the socket.
Immediately, there was a bright flash, and my grandmother jumped up on the operating table and started singing the most beautiful opera I have ever heard. I think it was Carmen. Whatever it was, it brought tears to my eyes. And the socket wasn’t even wired to any other electrical system!
My grandmother has completely recovered, and a major label just signed her new punk-rock band. She no longer drinks or smokes either! And I owe it all to the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket.
Thank you so much Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket!!!

P.S. I now carry a Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket and a screwdriver with me at all times, in case of emergencies. I will never be without one again.  – Paul Johnson, Minnesota

Yeah, But Again… Is It Art?

Ok, here is Another Rant About Our Taxes.

In the art world, money flows freely from public funds without your knowledge.  Picture states A-E.  Each state has a varying number of people that pay taxes.  Of those taxes, they go to a person or multiple people who are artists or very close to them who dole out the money.  Often their values are radically different from the taxpayers.  That money then goes to still other artists in each state (blue) who get it without the knowledge of the people in other states (unless they are art lovers themselves).

Now, lets look at the “local” model, as it should be.  Note how the people really responded to the art in question.

See the difference?  TAX money to those artists can ONLY come from within the state they live.  Now those other people in their state are the ones scrutinizing those funds and their uses.  It could be from tax money but it could also be free market.

In State A, only one person thought that was a worthwhile use of their money – maybe, and there is some accountability, shown by the question mark.

In State B, several people felt the same way.

In State C, people found that the artist in question was a pervert/pedophile and he was treated as he should have been, a pariah.

In State D, there was one person that was cautiously supportive but others didn’t care for the art and chose not to support it.

In State E, lots of people bought art directly with varying degrees of value placed on the works of art.

IT IS CAPITALISM, NOT FEDERALLY DISBURSED LARGESSE THAT SHOULD DRIVE DEMAND.

Most of us don’t care about art enough to want our taxes going to pay for something we don’t even consider art.

Why should a select group decide that art is vitally important and then run the whole show?

My values run more towards fiscal responsibility, not handouts to those who could not survive if their art was rated on it’s own merits.

Art won’t die if federal funds dry up, there will just be a whole lot less really crappy art.

As a parting shot, here are some of the funded arts in that link above…

• $400,000 for an exhibition “exploring the importance of plants as a source of inspiration for noted American poet Emily Dickinson” [You. Must. Be.  Joking.]
• $350,000 to explore the “cultural significance of the circus poster”  [Over a quarter million dollars to answer a question that has no answer?]
• $725,000 to produce a two-hour documentary on the history of American whaling.  [I can look that up in the library, thanks.  Three quarters of a million dollars to make a video of a lot of old photographs.  Yeaaaaaaahhhhh.  Right.]
• $130,000 for 16 professors to study the “truth and meaning” of life according to Aristotle [Mental masturbation.]
• $50,000 to build a computer model of an ancient city in Pakistan complete with “animated and interactive ‘inhabitants’” [I. Don't. Care.]

Things I Must Have.

For those who don’t know me… that was sarcasm.

On the Life website…

Oh yeah… tires that light up.  From the inside.  (ok, this would be kind of cool at first)

Venetian sunglasses, for when your eyes want a little privacy.

When you’re willing to risk death for your invention, that is dedication.  When you’re willing to go to certain death for your invention, that’s just stupid.  Birdman costume.

Yes.  Yes this would work.  Now I can restrain my 30MW bundle-of-energy English Shepherd, Zoe.  My problems are solved with the Dog Restrainer.

Cigarette holder for two.  When you need this kind of intimacy you don’t need more of it, you need professional help.  Get all the psychiatric disciplines involved, while you are at it.

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Reuters brings us more science from London (apparently).

Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun world 100 and 200 meters record holder Usain Bolt in modern conditions.

Some Tutsi men in Rwanda exceeded the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters during initiation ceremonies in which they had to jump at least their own height to progress to manhood.

Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle.

Except for several key points.  Prehistoric man was about as intelligent as a brain-damaged guinea pig.   Prehistoric man died around age 25 if he was very very lucky to have lived that long.  Prehistoric man didn’t have SUV’s, DVR, answering machines, microwaves, Tito and Tarantula albums… hey, their life sucked.

These and other eye-catching claims are detailed in a book by Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister entitled “Manthropology” and provocatively sub-titled “The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male.”

Oh yeah, I’ll run right out and buy that.

And a Woman Shall Lead before Him.

Update:

I expect this from a little kid who doesn’t know better or just a jerk that goes over his boss’ head to get what he wants, but you don’t expect it from your president.

If he doesn’t get what he wants he marginalizes you and moves on until he gets the response he wants.

End run around Chamber of Commerce… nice.   Stayin’ classy, I see.

The administration is now trying to neutralize the Chamber by doing an end-run around the group and dealing directly with its members.

During remarks in early October, President Obama named and shamed the Chamber for opposing a consumer protection agency.

And the White House again criticized the group Tuesday, telling Fox News in an e-mail that the group’s opposition to reform efforts gives the administration pause.

“We have an open door to the ideas and suggestions of the business community including the Chamber,” White House spokeswoman Jen Psaki said, noting that administration “representatives” met with Chamber representatives last week. “But it does give us pause that they continue to throw millions of dollars against productive efforts under way to reform the regulatory structure, provide access to affordable health insurance for more Americans and reduce the impact of greenhouse gas emissions — all plans essential to the continued growth and recovery of our economy.”

One of these days, just invoking his “huge popularity” and banking on that being good political capital to get what he wants is going to just fail.  It’ll be an Epic Fail.   And I’ll laugh.  And giggle.  And laugh some more.

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Yeps… Sarah Palin to appear on Oprah.

Contrast that with… yes!

Obama refuses to appear on Fox.

Do you *really* think Sarah is going to get a warm hug from the Oprah crowd?  A book review about a conservative mom?  Like Oprah is going to gush over Palin’s new book “Going Rogue: An American Life”.

Do you *really* think Obama would be verbally abused on Fox?

Who is tougher here?  Who had the balls to go into a potentially uncomfortable situation?

I know who I vote for.

His flunky, Gibbs, acting every bit like a man drenched in a bucket of the finest slippery-slimy-politician-sweat (greasiest stuff in existence) ever:

Gibbs weighed in on the controversy after several top White House advisers have gone on other channels to criticize Fox News’ coverage of the administration, dismiss the network as the mouthpiece of the Republican Party and urge other news organizations not to treat Fox News as a legitimate news station.

Gibbs said White House officials “render (that) opinion based on some their coverage and the fairness of that coverage.”

But asked how Fox News was different from other news organizations, Gibbs mentioned the channel’s 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. shows, in an explicit reference to “Beck” and “Hannity” — even though those two shows represent opinion programming.

Informed that those hours are for opinion programming, Gibbs said: “That is our opinion.”

You know, when the president decides he doesn’t like some news organization and then encourages other news organizations to take care of them… you are screwing with the free press and you are acting like a Godfather.

Sadly, he also seems to behave a great deal like Kwame Kilpatrick in terms of how he spends tax dollars.  Kilpatrick was really big on making sure no expense was spared in throwing parties for his buddies and want-t0-buddies.

By the way… am I the only one who is just overwhelmed with the new age of complete and utter transparency the messaiah has brought upon us?

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=email_en&sid=aOngFPgq7r3M

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Justice is served.  Woman crushed by fire station door after making fake 911 call.

(Source:  Fox News)

Police say an Idaho woman who made a false 911 call to lure paramedics out of their station made a real emergency call minutes later when she got trapped under the station’s garage door.

Melissa R. Farris died Oct. 2 of injuries suffered when she was crushed by the closing garage door at the Canyon County station.

Farris, a former paramedic at the station, had been trying to crawl under the door after the ambulance left to respond to a nonexistent traffic accident she’d called in a few minutes earlier.

Caldwell Police Chief Chris Allgood says it may never be known why Farris was trying to gain access to the station

But according to a police report obtained by KBCI-TV, her sister told investigators that Farris may have been going after prescription medication stored in the station.

What do you want to bet someone gets sued for not having a safety d00r-won’t-close-if-bitter-ex-employee-tries-to-crawl-under-it mechanism?  I don’t have much pity for people who abuse 911 calls when someone who could really need it might pay for the extra unnecessary distraction.

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Ok, Simi Valley shuts down a haunted house.  (Source: Ventura County Star)

Why?

A popular haunted house in Simi Valley that attracts thousands of children each Halloween has been shut down because the city deemed it an unsafe structure.

Haunted Halls has been operated by Cindy Fike and her family outside their Sebring Street home for the past eight years. But what makes it popular — a covered wooden maze with steel poles, dark and spooky scenes, and volunteers that startle visitors — is the reason it was given a 72-hour notice Friday to be taken down.

Responding to an anonymous complaint, the city said the 1,200-square-foot “amusement building” didn’t have a permit.

If he’s been doing it for years, odds are it’s fairly safe, so why did someone feel the need to make an anonymous complaint?

Grow some balls, you whoever decided to pee on a bunch of kids’ fun.

Justice – Blind Maybe – Vindictive Yes.

I have felt arty-tistic again, no idea why.

A certain Cruel Wife (aka “Frog”) got her own logo.  Spent some time on it, I did.

Saying that she likes chocolate is like saying that Detroit is a bit of an armpit of a place to be in.  It’s understated.  Anyway, that’s a chocolate bar that frog is on.  The frog is a poisonous one.  Make of it what you will.

Another graphic I did features a crab to represent one of my co-workers.  She’s one of the best people I’ve gotten to work with.  She loves sushi.  So, the crab is attacking some crab rolls with gusto.

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Well, damn.  I love Cirque du Soleil and this is a real bummer.  It’s really amazing that it doesn’t happen more often, really.

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Balloon hoax.  Yes, I’d like to see the guy get popped for making a false police report.

If the incident was a hoax, the only charge local authorities could press would be making a false report to authorities — a Class 3 misdemeanor, Alderden told reporters Saturday.

However, a misdemeanor “hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances,” the sheriff said.

“We certainly want to talk to FAA officials and federal officials to see if perhaps there aren’t additional federal charges that would be more appropriate in the circumstances than what we’re able to do locally,” he said.

Now, look at his wording.  Unless I read it wrong, he thinks this guy really just broke the law in terms of a false police report.  Bummed out by this, the sherrif is going to go find out if there are other things he can get this guy on.

The sheriff is making a determination to see if the charges seem appropriate.

I know this happens all the time but it seems like behavior best left in a cockroach country.

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Hey, if this is offensive to ILLEGAL “immigrants” then where the hell do I sign up to get one.  Go home if you’re offended and come back when you are legal.

Until then, I got nothing to say to you.

Oh, and way to show some spine and/or balls, Target.  You don’t go out and find a costume and then “by mistake” sell it.

Target is removing the costume from the site after receiving several complaints, company spokesman Joshua Thomas said Friday. The store never intended to sell the outfit but included it in its online offerings by mistake, he said.

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When is stimulus not stimulus?  When the democrats are involved, that’s when.

They’re talking about extending benefits through 2010.  If they can arrange it, COBRA, too.  To the tune of at least $125B dollars.

You know, on a per-head basis, why aren’t these people out of work and all getting gov’t guaranteed loans like with college students’ loans?  That way THEY pay the money back at some later date.  Now, that money is given to them and WE ALL pay back their debts.

All this throwing around of money – it has to COME from somewhere.  I’d just as soon it started – and stopped – with those who have the need for money to tide them over.  Nowhere does it say in the constitution that the gov’t should take my money to help others.  The argument that these people need help doesn’t matter in the least.  I want their communities to help them, not me helping a bunch of people in California for their fiscal idiocies.