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Short Post Day.

Saw this today and thought it worth sharing. You might have seen it but it is new to me.

Political Correctness: The doctrine that implies it’s possible to pick up a piece of shit from the clean end.

A day late.

Well, it was MESSENGER’s ten year anniversary yesterday.  The world is not a safer place, no lives have been saved, and milk still goes sour after a spell.  Kittens still die, killers still live, and Obama is still president.

But MESSENGER is one thing that seems to be working mostly as it was intended, so I am content, at least until Ebola or the wave of the world’s illegal immigrants swamp us under.

Two weeks ago as the wife and kids were still in the PNW visiting family, I was shopping for myself and muttering.  Muttering is something I forgot that single people do (or at least I did) and it came back surprisingly quickly.

Mid-mutter I saw a display sign that said simply:

Food Alternatives

Wow.  If I had checked it out I could have found an alternative to food, but I had a house to go clean and a MineCraft mine that needed digging.

****
According to Thomas Sowell, thinking may now be obsolete.  I think he is right.

Netanyahu finally says FU to Beloved Leader Obama.

Following the quick collapse of the cease-fire in Gaza, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told the White House not to force a truce with Palestinian militants on Israel.

 

Sources familiar with conversations between Netanyahu and senior U.S. officials, including Secretary of State John Kerry, say the Israeli leader advised the Obama administration “not to ever second guess me again” on the matter. The officials also said Netanyahu said he should be “trusted” on the issue and about the unwillingness of Hamas to enter into and follow through on cease-fire talks.

 

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_UNITED_STATES_MIDEAST?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2014-08-02-05-10-33

 

I hope our next president repairs our relations with just about every once-ally we had that Obama has shat upon, but no one more so than Israel.  The Euro-Snobs realize we’re about the only thing keeping Russia from taking over Europe, if he so chose.  But Israel, how could he have pissed on Israel?

Go Bibi.

Want to stop attacks on Gaza?  That’s easy – tell the terrorists to stop firing rockets at Israel.  The fact that the disparity in lethality exists is irrelevant.  A scrappy little dog keeps biting an even scrappier bigger dog with sharp teeth – when the big one finally leans over and kicks the little dog’s ass, no one ought to be getting pissed at the bigger dog.  Especially when there is a pack of little dogs going after the patient one.

But that is what we are seeing in Gaza.

“But LEMUR…!”  you say… “These are CHILDREN who are dying!”  

Yep, sure are.   Who are also being trained to do as their fathers are doing, which is always attack from behind the skirts of women and children, like cowardly dogs.

But no, it is easier to attack Israel, isn’t it?

 

****

Wow, they whisked away to safety pro-Israel demonstrators from outside the White House after being surrounded by menacing Hamas supporters.

Why not deal with the menacing folks?

They had to be rescued by the police from the radical pro-Hamas protesters.

So we are now supporting pro-terrorist organizations who threaten others?

This morning Cruel Wife sent me the picture below.  She said something to the effect “you probably think this is me most of the time”.

I would never say such a thing.

ask

I would say this of a co-worker though.  Asks my opinion and then continues to argue for what they wanted in the first place, and I cannot understand why they wouldn’t just go with that in the first place.

****

I saw this yesterday.  Obama wants to know why there’s so much hatin’ going on.

 

 

Pic for a Sith.

The Dude sent a pic perfectly suited for the Sith.

A Sith BBQ thingy.

20140725-000502-302300.jpg

That is all.

Stomping Grounds.

Just a taste of the area I used to patrol when I was with the ODF in firefighting days.  We drove up to a spot that makes Michiganders nervous.  Bohemia Mountains, these are… and they are way more rugged than you would think.  This is about 6000 feet elevation (just shy of).

My stomping grounds_smallI experienced actual physical bodily pain when driving down and away from them.  Sigh.

My stomping grounds2_smallEastern Oregon is a little easier in spots and not so heavy on the huge trees, but their fires are frickin’ hot, too.

(subtitled:  Stalling for Time)

I was waiting for a flight two nights ago, trapped in the decaying moments between slowed heartbeats. Time tides flowed sideways in irregular surges and only moved forward in regions of eddying currents.

Unexpectedly I got a call from a surprising source – nature.

It was one of those moments we all have had where pre-flight stress and a pepper jack fajita omelette collide with the grace of drunk hippos and your intestinal tract rebels against inaction.

In short, I needed a restroom, and I needed it RFN.

I tried the ages old Man Code usually reserved for selecting the proper urinal in order to locate a toilet stall but apparently multiple guys had also eaten pepper jack fajita omelettes earlier and the only other two empty stalls looked like they were crawling with Hepatitis A and unidentifiable parasites.  So neither Door #1 or Door #5 looked preferable to internal rupture and sepsis.

Thus, flanked by two used stalls I picked Door #3 and stepped inside. Trou droppage and the usual maneuvering went without incident, as one would expect given my lifetime of practice in such things.

As I sat there, wondering why my internal organs were suddenly being coy after such a cry and hue only moments earlier, I noticed in the stall to my left what seemed to be a large-ish deep-voiced gentleman having a conversation on his cellphone.

This struck me as an extremely peculiar place in which to carry on a conversation, even as humorous and good-natured as it seemed from his tone of voice. It also seemed obvious that he had a lot of luggage, judging by the thudding sounds and the shuddering of the stall walls.

He was saying “(indistrict conversation) Huh… ha, ha, ha… Uh huh.”

The pre-flight pharmaceuticals (legally prescribed) that I had ingested on orders of my physician were kicking in so it took a moment for my brain to process amongst more thudding noises the man’s next words “Heh heh uhhhhh… That stuff burns my scrotum… (Long pause)… We gotta do this again some time.”

The cure for intestinal hesitation is not “scary clowns” as you would be led to believe in the movie Zombieland, but rather the knowledge that you need to vacate several places – (intestinal and environmental) immediately unless you want to have a very awkward post flagrante delicto encounter with an amorous couple of guys in the men’s room of the airport in Portlandia.

Most of the experience could be considered horrible enough but such events in Portlandia of all places made the situation nigh on unbearable.

There was a crap-ton of hand soap at the sinks but nothing suitable or powerful enough with which to sanitize my now feverish brain. I quickly opted for a second round of pharmaceuticals after returning to my safe bench seat outside of the flow of time, and I continued to wait for my flight with a sense of newfound graceful patience.

There, McGoo… My story did not actually invoke King’s short story “The Jaunt” but there was an element of irony to be found here… My hair is now whiter.

****
Before I left on vacation I was nervous that I had forgotten something that someone would need for a project’s completion.  So a scientist suggested I put together a box which I named exactly as he said.  In true Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) fashion I gave it a ridiculous acronym.

Within minutes a note appeared next to it with a tiny box usually used for a 50 count of small fasteners.

humilityIt has been said that I have an ego.

And it was then also said that perhaps the box provided for my ego was actually several sizes too large.

I haven’t laughed tears like that in years.

“Arrogance must be earned.  Tell me what you did to earn yours.”  – House, M.D.

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