Humbling.

Saw this guy on the MugTome interwebnetsite.

Paul Smith has more grace in his smallest fart than I have in my entire body.

I could probably use a good ass-kicking for my crappy attitude.

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What is left behind is shared time and memories.

What is left behind when we’re gone?  What is left behind is shared times and memories.  And with time, and the telling, those memories remain alive.  Those aren’t new sentiments but it doesn’t hurt to say it anyway.

Cruel Wife has some things she wanted me to post, and I will do that shortly.  Since that material is at this moment being written by her, I figured I’d take a moment to say a few words and then tack on her stuff when it is done.  It’s a first – a LK/CW co-authorage.

Here is what I would say.

The last night before her folks left, CW’s dad went out to the trailer to get some rest.  He was tired and I don’t blame him – he did a lot of work on our remodel while I was at work.

BCCFN was talking to CW and somehow the topic of dark matter came up and before I knew it, CW’s mom and I were talking about the Cosmological Constant, dark matter and dark energy, the evidence for a closed universe, background energy… and come to find out, she took it in her head one day to get ahold of some lectures and was working her way through the series.  Should one be surprised at this?  I mean she was a radiochemist for years, and it is obvious she was no dummy, none of her daughters are – all of ’em too intelligent for comfort.  But BCCFN… she was doing all this and studying other topics, was here for seventeen days and only mentioned it at the very end, the very last night.  And my jaw dropped.

There is this brain-metaphor thing that describes the surprise and respect I had after that, and I don’t think I could quite define it.  I’ve been told on several occasions that I do not suffer fools lightly, and the flip side to that coin is I have a great deal of respect for intelligence.  This is not to say I have only value for some number like IQ and that makes for superiority or anything, but it does mean I do place high value on people who have done or do things with gifts that they were given – there’s not a one in CW’s family that isn’t gifted (and kind of dangerous in a battle of wits if you let your guard down).  And BCCFN, as nail-bitingly maddening she could be at times, managed to surprise the hell out of me and gain a measure of respect.  And she never let on.  She was about as humble and self-deprecating as a person could be and didn’t stop being curious.  I was bummed when she decided to go out to bed because the conversation when she relaxed was infinitely more interesting than observations about my salt intake or how much oil I put in the stir fry.

A funny, odd, and ultimately quite interesting duck, my mother-in-law.

Ok, I’ll quit talking now let you read the CW stuff.

Simple, silly attachments.  (Aren’t those usually the best ones?)

As many of you know, I lost my mom today.  It took everyone by surprise.  I thought she’d live another two decades at least, and wondered if she might just outlive us all.  She was in remarkably good health for a 75 year old lady, thus the complete shock.  We are still waiting to find out what happened.  I asked LK to share a story for me.  This how I deal with grief, by writing down my thoughts and memories of the loved one departed.

Just last night, LK and I had been going through boxes we’d stored for years.  We set aside a number of unimportant dishes in one of my boxes freshly emptied of “memories” that I couldn’t remember.  The dishes were slated for the consignment shop.

I took those dishes to the consignment shop this morning despite receiving the bad news.  I needed to “just keep swimming” (for those of you who might be Pixar heathen, that is a quote from “Finding Nemo”).  As I stood at the counter asking the hired help to sell them or donate them (I didn’t really care at that moment), it dawned on me that I was looking at Mom’s handwriting on the side of the box.

“Records,” it said.

I distantly heard the lady asking me if I wanted my box back while my thoughts were speeding me back 25 years.  It was the summer before my freshman year in college.  I remember scrounging everywhere for packing boxes, and I still didn’t have enough.  I asked Mom if she had any extra.  I distinctly remember her telling me “Well, these are some of my GOOD apple boxes…but I guess you can have them.”  She gave up several of her long-term storage boxes so that I’d have a place to put my childhood memorabilia.  The box in my hands had been with me for the last 25 years, keeping my childhood treasures safe. Still bearing the title “Records” on the lid and the inner box, written in Mom’s handwriting.  I had to keep that box.

I returned home several hours later.  Never had a shopping trip been so painful, looking for a dress suitable for Mom’s funeral.  As I went in the house, it slowly dawned that I didn’t have the box.  The whimsical desire to save the box suddenly became urgent.  I kept telling myself “It’s just an apple box, for pete’s sake.  If its gone, its gone.”  Still, I got in the car again and backtracked to the consignment shop, only to find it closed.  The lights were still on, though, so I knocked on the door.  I was lucky; the owner was still there.  Lo and behold, she still had my box, too.  Undamaged.  You would have thought I’d found something very special to my mom rather than an empty cardboard box.  To me, I did.  A precious memory of her had returned to me because of that box.  It might be a mundane and largely inconsequential grocery produce box, but it was given to my by a dear lady 25 years ago as she launched me into my adult life.  That makes it precious.

My mother would be flabbergasted by the importance this silly box has taken on today.  All the same, I’m thankful to have it back.  My childhood treasures are going back into that box, to be safely stored (God willing) for the next 25 years of my life.  Then again, who knows?  In 10 to 12 years, Lemurita and Hacker-boy will be getting ready to embark on the next stage of their journeys.  Maybe it will be my turn to donate one of MY good apple boxes to the cause.  If so, they’ll get more than a storage box.  They will get this story, too.

God bless you all and thank you for the well wishes.

CW

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A Time Out.

I am very proud of Cruel Wife. She has agreed to watch Band of Brothers from nose-to-tail. She’s not big on war movies but (1) this is more or less real, even with the embellishments, and (2) even though it is disturbing, she’s still watching it.

I have said many times that I will insist that our kids watch BoB and Saving Pvt. Ryan before they leave home, for I want them to be innoculated against those who wish to poison their minds against our country and I want them pay proper respect to our military and our veterans.

I firmly believe that with the right illustration one cannot help but gain a certain amount of respect for those who have sacrificed in either their lives, their health, and in years of service. Reading of it in a history book will not suffice.  One needs the visceral nature of the event.

Now, here you may roll your eyes but hear me out.

Years ago there was a game, Call of Duty.  The game developers (Infinity Ward) made it a huge point to talk to veterans, scrutinize photographs, watch video footage, and I cannot remember if some actually visited the sites of historic battles.

But the thing is, so much of Band of Brothers looked as if I had been there before.  Now, I am not in any way shape or form drawing equivalency between a first-person shooter and the real war, nor can a movie do it, but I am saying that the game captured enough to have your adrenaline racing.  It was damn hard to make it up the beach at Normandy, you died over and over and over again.  The wire, the bunkers and trenches, the fields beyond, and the guns blazing non-stop.  It was pretty intense.  And so help me, there was an added bit of adrenaline watching as Market Garden went sideways.  There were parts of BoB where my inner self has been screaming “Danger!  Danger!  You guys, there’s bad guys up on that roof!  There are guns downstairs in that building over there!  There’s a sniper over yonder!”  In the game you’re getting shot at, guys are dying all around you, and you still have no idea where the krauts are shooting you from.

Believe it or not, a game can make you respect your soldiers more, because dammit, what they endured was hundreds of thousands of times worse.  In the game you aren’t tired, you aren’t cold, you aren’t hurt, you don’t have crappy food, you don’t have some idiot asshole giving orders that make no sense at all.  What you do get in the game is a visual and visceral feel for what it might have looked like, and it did not look pretty, even as inadequate as it was.  That game didn’t feel like they were trying to make WWII like a level from Doom II where you get a BFG-9000 later on.  You had two weapons.  That was it, and lone-wolfing it didn’t work so very well.  And you died if you got hit.

This time around I’m paying more attention to BoB even though the DVD’s don’t have Closed Captions – Cruel Wife is my interpreter at times.

I am therefore not blogging much for the next few nights and haven’t for the last two.  I trust you’ll understand why, even if I can’t exactly explain in words my internalized metaphor that embodies all the reasons why I am compelled to try to understand that section of history a bit more.  I’m sure I’m not at all alone in that, however.

Update:  We just finished up Bastogne.  Beautiful:

We didn’t need to be “rescued” – 101st Airborne

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Worthy reading.

doubleplusundead…

Nice writing there.  A passionate and well argued piece about why gun control is about the most useless tits-on-a-boar thing you could ever hope to achieve.  Well, that wasn’t exactly the argument, but close.  DPUD’s point is that not allowing people to defend themselves is ultimately… cruel.   And it absolutely is cruel.

DPUD was inspired (and rightly so) by a particularly reprehensible op-ed that had the gall to say, among many other galling things:

Only in America are gun massacres of this kind routine, expectable, and certain to continue.  – @d@m G0pn1k

Excuse me?  The train has entirely left the tracks.

Go read DPUD’s most excellent posting.  I’ll link it again here because it deserves it.

And again because it is still more or less a free country and I can.

Yeah, I did half-LEET out the name attached to the quote above.  I don’t like to give it more exposure than it deserves, beyond simple credit.

Here is where I get bogged down.  I read the news about the Aurora thing and the first thing I thought was “Oh God, those poor people”, then “did they catch the bastard?”, “why all those innocent people?”, and lastly “has the list of victims grown?”

Nowhere did I leap up and scream “If only all weapons were illegal, this would never happen!” or “Gosh, I hope no one uses this as an argument to take my right to self-defense away!”

“Guns” were never central in the story in my mind.  People were my first, second, third, and last thoughts.  “Guns” didn’t enter the picture until I read so many reports about calls for more gun laws and how this is the fault of anyone who says the 2nd Amendment and all supporters of it have blood on their hands.  DPUD saw the ridiculous article that was the source of the quote above and responded elegantly and honorably.  Well done.

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D-Day.

The first and primary reason for this post is D-Day.  Gotta remember it.  Never forget it.

I swear my kids will watch all of Band of Brothers and Pvt. Ryan before they leave home to enter the real world.  By God, theywill understand what our Armed Forces have done and still do for their liberty and that the US is a positive influence on the world.

We can argue about the license taken with BoB but if you want pure facts, the history books are there.  But if you want to show someone the flavor, as much as one can without living it, watch the documentaries and the movies that are everywhere.

Brings us to the other point… our Beloved Leader, also the CiC of our military, stiffed D-Day for a third year.  Not a peep.  The bastard.  And Michelle O. is asking on his behalf for another term so they can finish what they started.

My blood runs cold.

I’m going to take a stab and assume that our President and First Lady’s caregivers were not much on honoring those who have honored us through their sacrifices.

****

Today is also D-Day in another way.  How about as in “Stuff a Duck Day”?

California is banning foie gras.  If you don’t know what it is, it is a cruel process by which they force feed a duck vast amounts of corn so it can grow nice tasty yummy fatty liver(s).  If you don’t know where I stand on the matter, I favor a stainless saute pan but have been known to use whatever is handy. Hell, in a pinch I’d cook one in a campfire with aluminum foil, but it’s not my first choice.

Yes, in the right forms I will consume an animal’s poison filter – with gusto.   Since I am not rich I generally opt for my Christmas liver allotment in non-duck (or goose) forms – braunschweiger.  Three cheers for pigs!  I proudly carry an inverse-PETA card – People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

Yes, I know that shoots down any chance of ever meeting Charlize Theron but I’m happily married with kids and my odds were pretty low anyway.

Doesn’t that make your insides all warm and gooey? – source: Wikipedia

I say we all run out and buy some to keep the Duck Stuffers™ in business.  Nobody wants California Duck Squeezers™ thinking it can call the shots.

Addendum: I am currently eating Cheez-Its™ and wishing to hell I had some liverwurst to smear on them.  It’s an Oregon-ey redneck-ey thing.

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The Nature of God

Update:  Since the original post was about the nature of God, let’s have another bit of humor.  Yes, it’s on yoootoob (associated with g00glle) but just this once…  it’s an important public safety announcement.

****

An Observant Reader, ooGcM taobmaetS, recently passed on to me via dead drops, mute couriers, and randomized routes a picture that is so momentous, so blockbuster, so all-consuming, that it is a wonder that space-time hasn’t grown thinner in spots and perhaps even started to crumble like old cheese in others.

It was regarding the nature of God.

I must do some fearless sock-searching, perhaps take an inventory of my drawers, and get right with my wardrobe.

I have asked taobmaetS ooGcM if he has considered being a High Priest of the Ordered Drawer of the Holey Sock.

He chuckled and shook his head modestly and said:

Lemur, I know you worship the very ground I walk on (shame on you).  But you also know I’m too humble to think of elevating myself to a position of such awesome responsibility.  I am just a simple man, with simple needs, and a cat named Brrrt, who needs me to feed him smoked gouda and free him from trees from time to time.  No, that is my calling in life.  And baiting goths and trolling Trolls.  And ****ing with people that need ****ing with.  Yes, that’s the life for me, my friend.  That’s the life for me and that’s my calling.  Leave the rest of that to better men than I. –  taobmaetS ooGcM, explaining why he could not take up the mantle of the Holey Sock priesthood. 

Note:  I am a God-fearing Protestant and not some rabid atheist.  I just believe that God also has a sense of humor.  Look at the world around you and you have many examples of this.

****

If ever you needed more reason to pack your own kid’s lunches, may I suggest that this is it?  This is what your government will do to feed your little snowflakes.  This is stuff that they won’t even put in hotdogs because it is last-choice animal product.  The only thing that comes lower than this stuff is actual excrement, earwax, the solids from bile, and pulmonary tumors.

USDA Buys 7 Million Pounds of Slime for School Lunches

Here’s what should really disturb you:

Pink slime is a mixture of leftover trimmings, sinew, and other beef parts culled from a cow once the expensive and more recognizable cuts of meat have been harvested and sent to a butcher. The collection of leftovers is spun in a centrifuge to remove excess fat, washed in a disinfecting solution and then minced for use in various applications.

Pink slime is allowed to make up as much as 15% of the ground beef you might be purchasing at from your local grocery store. And according to some industry experts, the concoction may be in as much as 70% of the ground beef found in America.  – Mike Opelka, The Blaze

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Good on ya.

Update: A tip from The Butcher of Lansing…  well done, BoL, well done.  Article at the link after the pic.

http://now.msn.com/living/0306-madhouse-sexist-chinos.aspx?ocid=xnetr1-2

****

A writer could try to sex the story up all the editor wants, but a heroic mom is a heroic mom.

To Stephanie Decker of Indiana:  Well played, ma’am.  Well played.

Decker made a split-second decision to save her children, tying them up in a blanket and throwing herself on top of them.

“Everything started hitting my back: pillars, beams, furniture, everything was just slamming into my back,” she said. “(My children) were screaming, ‘Mommy I can’t live without you, I don’t want to die, please don’t let me die.’ And I said, ‘We are not going to die, we are going to make it.’ ”

Miraculously, her children emerged from the storm completely unscathed. Decker lost one leg above the knee and the other above the ankle.

“When I looked down and looked at my leg and realized either it was cut off or it was barely attached, I took my phone and made a video to my husband telling him that I loved him, and my children that I loved them, in case something were to happen,” Decker said. “I prayed to have the strength to survive, that I want these kids to have a mom and I did not want them to grow up without me.”

 http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/03/06/indiana-mom-loses-legs-after-saving-her-children-from-tornado/?test=latestnews#ixzz1oOx0vPpU

Yeah, it’s a few days old but I’m behind a few days.  And someone who does good should never not be told just because the praise might come a bit after the fact.

I once took a course for company business and went and grabbed dinner later and a chinese lady came along with.  We got to talking and if you held a gun to my head I could not tell you how we got on that particular topic or to that point in a conversation but she quite matter-0f-factly said she would not risk a burning home for her daughter because “I can always have another child”.

I couldn’t say a whole awful lot once she uttered that statement.  The end of the dinner could not really come soon enough after that.

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The Teeming Masses are Always Right.

Update:  I need one.  Badly.  A ginormous gummy-worm.

I’m also contemplating my favorite way to make a batch of ferrofluid.  Do I want to do it the smart way or would I prefer to do it quick and dirty?

Yes, I’m painfully bored.  I’ve been talking to the cats.  Been talking to plants (and we don’t even have any in the house).  Haven’t felt the need to talk to people yet, thank goodness.

****

I really like Penny Arcade. It ranks up there with XKCD.

This morning, well, 20 hours ago, I stumbled across the dialogue below. Obviously I was late to the party.

There’s other coverage of this event but what it boils down to is an incredibly amazing asshole of a bully (at Ocean Marketing) treating someone like shit merely because he can, and then the guy gets all “can’t we just be friends?” when he realizes that he’s about to have his head served to him on a platter. This, my friends, is Capitalism as it should be. Where yes, if you treat others like crap the community at large may very well rise up as one with pitchforks and firebrands and smite you silly and crush your business.

Note: Cruel Wife was correct to point out that I should be clearer there – Christoforo going down in flames is awesome. Him taking down the controller company he represented, not so awesome. The controller people were not making ship dates which is poor business but it’s not malicious. Fact is, however, you can have the best product in the world and if you can’t deliver on time it’s the same as if you didn’t even have the product.
I would also add that since this all went sideways, people have been troll-crapping on them in the Amazon reviews and it’s a bunch of vicious little children. Hopefully Amazon will wipe that slate clean for them.

So then just a few minutes ago I found the comic below which kind of paints the scene after this guy’s world has burned down to the ground. Ok, from here on out, go directly to Penny Arcade – go there daily. I’m just priming the pump.

Oh, also at the very end there was this soul-searching, wondering if maybe by clamping down on the bully he wasn’t being a bully himself.  Nope.  Bullies do what they do because they enjoy hurting others.  Morally flexible guardian angels enjoy hurting those who enjoy hurting others.  I am of that group, and there’s a huge difference.

http://penny-arcade.com/resources/real-talk.html (love the Grinch grin in panel #1)

****

Found at Penny Arcade…

I got an incredible email today from a Penny Arcade reader. Dave shared with me an email chain between him and Ocean Marketing (the folks behind the Avenger controller) Trust me when I tell you that this is one wild ride. I’m serious, Mr. Toad would look at this ride and just give a slow clap while shaking his head. I have tried to arrange this as best I can in chronological order. I’ve also removed email addresses and other private information. So let’s just jump right in, here is Dave’s first mail to Ocean Marketing:

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 16, 2011, at 1:34 PM

I ordered 2 of the upcoming PS3 controllers (invoice xxxxxxxxx—Nov 3, 2011). Any chance of getting an update of when these items will ship? I’m not really happy about being forced to pay upfront then have the advertised date of “Early December” be completely missed without any sort of update on availability. I really need one of them for a X-mas present as well. Anyways, looking forward to finally using one of these bad boys. Thanks and happy holidays.

-Dave

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 16, 2011 2:45 PM

Dec 17

– Paul Christoforo

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 19, 2011, at 11:02 AM

Thanks for the reply Paul. Can you clarify whether my particular order already sent or if Dec 17 was the first day shipments went out? I have not received any sort of shipping confirmation email or tracking information.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 19, 2011 11:21 AM

They still haven’t shipped yet on the way here from china

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 20, 2011 4:29 PM

So then delivery to customer doors by December 24th is no longer likely correct? Do you have an estimated date of when units will arrive in California? Thanks.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 20, 2011 5:11 PM

They are in the USA now in customs so its wither before or after Christmas.

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011, at 9:47 AM

I noticed the updated info on the webpage, and I don’t understand why there is absolutely no benefit given to those like me who have already ordered, and paid their money. You’ve had my money interest free for nearly two months, yet now ANY new order will get $10 off….meaning I should just cancel my order for 2 controllers, get my money back, then re-order.

My other questions is regarding item compatibility. Ocean Marketing seems to be involved with the Xtendplay controller holder, so I was wondering if the Avenger N-Controller can be used in conjunction with the Xtendplay (for both Xbox and PS3)? Thanks

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 26, 2011 10:14 AM

Yes it can be used with xtend play if you remove the stand and no one is allowed to cancel and re order if we catch anyone doing it we will simply just cancel your order all together and you can buy it retail somewhere else.

Things happen in manufacturing if your unhappy you have 7 days from the day your item ships for a refund. You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else. The benefit is a token of our appreaciation for everyone no one is special including you or any first time buyer . Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself. Have a good day Dan.

At this point Dave is (I think) understandably frustrated. His next email is sent to me as well as Kotaku and a few other news sites.

-Gabe

From: Dave
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 12:11 PM

Then cancel my order if you want to. I’m making a legitimate complaint about your poor communication and you’re the one stooping to childish levels, a patronizing attitude, and threats. Hell you can’t even get the spelling of my name right.

And Gamespot pre-orders…wow what a terrible comparison. Retailers take a couple dollars IF THAT for you to guarantee your game availability on the release date, whatever that is. That’s the understanding and that’s what you get. Plus, I don’t have to complain to Activision or Epic games about these issues because they’re usually not missing the street dates for their AAA titles.

Now let’s take YOUR situation:
1) You’ve promised a new product based off the design for an existing, working product
2) For the longest time, you’ve stated on your website (your failure to update regularly is another issue) the initial/special/limited batch of your new product by early December, obviously in time for the all-important holiday gift-giving season. I and thousands of other customers GIVE YOU OUR MONEY, INTEREST FREE on the promises you made online.
3) I reach out to you, on Dec 16 (AFTER you have FAILED TO MEET YOUR ADVERTISED DEADLINE AND FAILED TO COMMUNICATE TO ANYONE WHAT THE SITUATION IS) obviously a little frustrated but more curious about when I and other customers can expect the product we paid for.
4) Your reply to me is a cryptic “Dec 17” with absolutely no explanation of what that means. In the mean time you having been using funds from pre-paid customers to complete Research & Development, product redesigns, and manufacturing mis-steps.
5) You force me to follow-up with an email asking for clarification about what “Dec 17” means since the day has passed and I have yet to receive any new information about my order. Now you instead of ANSWERING MY QUESTION OF WHAT THE NEW DELIVERY DATE IS, you tell me the goods have yet to leave China… Why are you telling me this? I’m not your employee I’m your goddamn customer! TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS IN TERMS OF MY TIME AND WHEN I CAN EXPECT MY PRODUCT I PAID FOR.
6) So great…I have to email you AGAIN trying to get a CLEAR answer from you whether a Dec 24th delivery date is possible and if not, what the new date is. Rinse & repeat: You give me an update of the delivery process (wow, thanks…you haven’t told me anything I don’t know about the order of international shipping procedures) but instead say “…so its wither before or after Christmas.” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? GIVE ME A DATE!? One that you’re actually going to follow, because I already see “late Nov to early Dec”; “Dec 17”; and now “CHRISTMAS” in my rear-view mirror.
7) So I guess what’s left for me to do but just wait? Oh but what’s this, you’ve updated your website…Ok at least you’ve clarified the dates more, I can expect my controller my latest first week of January. But now as a “token of our appreciation” to all your “loyal customers” (you mean like customers who put up cash for you hold an use?) you’re giving a $10 coupon. Let me get this straight…so you held my money interest free for 2 months to help bring this product to market, and now some new customer can place an order and pay $10 less than what I paid? You have financially penalized me in two ways for being a “LOYAL CUSTOMER.”

I’m SURE you’re getting tons of other inquiries and I’m sure you’re not enjoying the fact that your product is not out when you wanted it to be. I and everyone else understands that “sh*t happens,” but if you want us to be understanding of that, then you need to keep us in the loop. You’ve already set yourself up for failure by making explicit promises that aren’t even “likely” given that the design and manufacturing are still be refined. Then you make sure you’re going to fail by actually taking all of our money, Not just a little bit….THE WHOLE F*CKIN BEEFALO. Why wouldn’t we trust that you’re going to deliver our merchandise on time? Besides…it’s based off an existing product so how hard can it be? Well as your youtube video shows, making any consumer device is hard and requires many iterations and improvements. But I’m not going to apologize for holding your feet to the fire. You created these expectations by acting like the release was already a done deal and by hiding the fact that it was faaaar from it.

I want my two n-controllers. I 1) PAID FOR THEM 2) WAITED 3) DEALT WITH YOUR UNHELPFUL ASS. I also didn’t want to feel like my trust and loyalty as a customer was being abused and then actually punished in comparison to other customers. But I guess we can’t have it all… so right now I’ll settle for getting my merchandise and hopefully never having to deal with you again. I’ve spent enough time writing this email which I hope you gain some insight from. If you actually do want to screw me over by not fulfilling my order, then I assure you be hearing more from me or people representing me.

You show a surprising lack of business polish for someone who’s quite established, AND an lack of awareness of your customer base: Hardcore gamers. We’re a demanding, vocal customer but the flip side is we’re loyal and eager to spend. It’s lucky for you that I really want this product because it seems really deliver on making the gaming experience more effective and enjoyable. Hell, I want to combine the aventer-controller with the xtend play to make the ugliest, most comfortable, most awesome controller ever. And I’ll still buy the xtend, so let that be a testament to your products, the rise above your poor representation.

-DAVE with a V

p.s. You look really douchy be having one youtube video complaining about the noise of traffic next to your home and then another video showing off your obnoxiously loud rice rocket (which is nice, I gotta hand it ya).

p.p.s. Welcome to the internet, bitch. That’s how I roll.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 26, 2011 2:19 PM

LOL Thanks for the Free PR I know the Editor N Chief of Kotaku , IGN , Engadget I’ll be meeting them at CES .The noise complaint was for people high up on the food chain in a corporate world of real estate you have no clue about. Thanks for the Rice Rocket Compliment too love me some motorcycle . Send that over to Engadget you look like a complete moron swearing and sending your customer service complaints to a magazine as if they will post it or even pay attention do you think you’re the first or the last what are they going to do demand us to tell you were your shipment is or ask for a refund on your behalf … Really … Welcome to the Internet ? Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet, thanks for the welcome to message wurd up. Grow up you look like a complete child bro. I Don’t have my controller so im gonna cry to the world … Really ?? Hey take that free time and do something more productive. All you had to do was check the like everyone else , people have inquired but you’re the douchiest of them all J

To all our pre-order customers looking for information on the status of their orders after a busy couple of months The PS3 Avengers are on their way from our Manufacturing plant overseas. We are aware that everyone is anticipating having their Avengers under their Christmas Tree and were doing our best to get these orders shipped out as fast as possible. We appreciate you as loyal customers and for supporting our company. Customers will start receiving their products this week before Christmas and After Christmas and into the New Year. As a token of our appreciation we are offering all our pre-order customers and new customers 10$ off your next order with us just enter Avenger1001 at Checkout. Thank you and Happy Holidays!

Oh and FYI When a street date gets pushed by a publisher on a video game you pre ordered do you cry to them too ?

You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet check kotaku in 2 weeks when they are reviewing free PS3 Avengers we send them as well as G4 and all the other majors hell yeah , don’t forget to check Amazon, gamestop.com, play n trade , Myers , Frys and a ton of other local stores coming your way you think you speak for billions son your just a kid you speak for yourself no one cares what you think that’s why were growing and moving 20-50 thousand controllers a month. We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on. See you at CES , E3 , Pax East ….? Oh wait you have to ask mom and pa dukes your not an industry professional and you have no money on snap you just got told.

The Pax East comment gets my attention and I decide to engage. I tend to have a calming effect on these sorts of arguments.

-Gabe

From: Mike Krahulik
To: Dave, Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 at 8:45 PM

Holy shit this is unbelievable. Dave, if this guy has a booth at Pax east we will cancel it.

From: Dave
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 8:53 PM

Hey thanks Mike. It’s truly a shame because I think this device is great for gamers with disabilities and problems. I think of Child’s Play and if anyone’s gonna need greater accessibility when using complicated gamepads…it’s sick kids! Shit man, I’m really gonna feel bad if I think that sick children may somewhere down the line have fewer avenger controllers because I got into a pissing match with a sad old man. Please don’t cancel their booth on my account. As much as I hate this asshole, I still WANT his product and think it should be out there. GAH, I wish I was in a position to make a competing product to really stick it to guy.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 8:54 PM

Hey Mikey,

We’re not renting a booth at pax east this year , bigger and better shows to be at we got nothing from the show . Oh so you know this guy has sold over 500 thousand dollars of product in Dec and is my main distribution arm landing us in GameStop , fry’s , Myers , Best buy , Activision , MLG , play N trade and a lot more . Were in 6 countries and you’re not going to take my money for a booth that’s a crock I can guarantee I’ll get a booth if I want one money buys a lot and connections go even further. He’s a native Bostonian from Little Italy . Who are you again ?

Oh Teh Noes!

-Gabe

From: Mike Krahulik
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:08 PM

I am mike krahulik, Pax is my show. Feel free to google me=) I can promise you that you will never have space at any future Pax event.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:33 PM

OK Mike whatever you say lol , are you sure hour not in Boston I spoke to the person who ran the show in Boston last year. If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone. Your acting like a douchbag not that it matters pax east pax west , e3 , CES , Gamer Con , SSXW ,Comic Con, Germany I’m all over the place. If we want to be there we will be there with industry badges or with a booth you think I can’t team up with turtle beach , Callibur or Koy Christmas , I can’t get Kevin Kelly to pull some strings or G4 , Paul Eibler Ex CEO of take 2 , Rich Larocco Konami , Cliff Blizinski Epic who were working with on a gears version , Activision who were working with on a MW3 and Spider man Bundle , The Convention Center Owners themselves , Mayor of Boston come on Bud you run a show that’s all you do and lease a center in Cities you have no pull in its all about who you know not what you do. I’ll see space where ever I want , with who I want when I want and where I want so many ways around you and so many connections in this industry its silly. Anyway , I have no issue with you Sean Buckley Engadget, Scott Lowe IGN and the list goes on and on. Little kids unhappy with a PRE ORDER starting trouble and you email that to us , he’s a customer unless you’re his boyfriend then you should side with the company not the customer. Be Careful

From: Mike Krahulik
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:40 PM

I do run Pax, but I also run a website called penny arcade. It’s kinda popular.

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:41 PM

Love penny Arcade !!

From: Mike Krahulik
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:42 PM

I’m glad you like it! You will be on it tomorrow:)

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:46 PM

Great !! Love PR

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:46 PM

Mike I’m not trying to fight with you I’m really not , you should give me the benefit of the doubt before judging over one person’s bitching . Did I feed into his emails a little bit too much yeah ok . But it’s one person dude for real. No disrespect intended for you , My name is good in this industry and I know a lot of people. I’ll be at CES are you going ?

From: Mike Krahulik
To: Ocean Marketing
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:47 PM

Please remove me from this mailing list

From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:57 PM

Your spamming me you’re not on a mailing list you idiot ! You sent me an email remember . Make sure you stir up a lot of controversy about us the more the better we needed some drama gets good blood flow going about the new product launch . Your sites amateur at best my son could put together a better site than yours and you run PAX ?? Wow , Ill put my marketing team on a smear campaign of you and your site and your emails , I have about 125 dedicated people to run PR , Blogs , Articles , Videos you have no clue who I am . Thanks again

I can’t wait for the Penny Arcade smear campaign!

Oh and I’ll just leave this here:

-Gabe out

info@avengercontroller.com
Ocean Marketing Paul Christoforo on Twitter – @OceanMarketting

an update

Gabe

@cwgabriel

Tuesday, December 27 2011 – 4:05 PM

• SHARE ON TWITTER
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I just wanted to post an update with some of the stuff that has happened over on my end with regards to all this Ocean Marketing stuff.

Around midnight last night Paul sent me a mail saying that I could expect to hear from their attorneys. As of right now that still has not happened and honestly I don’t expect it will. Our attorneys (who are real people with an office and everything) are ready should it get to that point though.

At 7:12am this morning I got another mail from Paul. It was one line and simply said:

“You have the power Mike Please make it stop”

The reality is that once I had posted the emails I didn’t have the power anymore. The Internet had it now and nothing I said or did was going to change that.

An hour later I got a more complete apology:

Hey Mike,

I just wanted to apologize for the way our emails progressed I didn’t know how big your site was and I really didn’t believe you ran Pax , So for what’s its worth I am very sorry. Your post has obviously made my life very difficult and I have not slept yet dealing with all the spam and personal information intrusion as well as my family being smeared on the internet.

If you can please accept my apology and anything you can do to help if not me my son and wife please do. I have apologized to Dave and apologized to you what else can I do please tell me so I can make things good. I obviously care or I would not be emailing you.

I think there is a big difference between being sorry and being sorry you got caught. I have a real problem with bullies. I spent my childhood moving from school to school and I got made fun of everyplace I landed. I feel like Paul is a bully and maybe that’s why I have no sympathy here. Someday every bully meets and even bigger bully and maybe that’s me in this case. It’s the same thing that happened with Jack Thompson. It might not always make the most business sense and it is a policy that has caused us some legal problems, but I really don’t give a shit about that. When these assholes threaten me or Penny Arcade I just laugh. I will personally burn everything I’ve made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames.

-Gabe out

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Fads

Yes, I could say something about 9/11.  But there’s nothing I can say that isn’t already said many times over.   We were all angered and heartbroken.  I think many of us had thoughts of firebombing and cobalt-salting the middle east.  Scorched earth policies went through my head and to hell with anyone who said “Oh, but that would make you no better than them.”  I’m more than tired of that kind of person.

So quickly, thanks to the many heroes that day and sorrows to those who had their lives taken from them.   And may the fires of Hell burn a little bit hotter for the participants in a bombing that targeted innocent people.

*****

Those online fads.  You gotta love ’em, right?

Planking, Owling, and Batmanning is passe.

Now it is Fenceposting.

Planking involved having your picture taken while you laid out flat, Owling had people perched on high places, and Batmanning had people hanging upside down with their toes.   All were difficult to do and had people getting seriously injured when attempting to be the next coolest stunt performer.  But “Fenceposting” is far more challenging.

A group of junior-high school students claim to have started the new slowly growing fad last week.  They made a video that shows them standing upright like adults and carrying on face-to-face conversations with complete sentences.

It is considered extremely difficult by many, including those who are technically legally adult.  Most people opt for the orders-of-magnitude easier version which involves consumption of alcohol  (Google “panty-peeler” and “leg-spreader“, or go to Roger’s Profanisaurus † for examples of pillow-talk).

Some fear the side-effects could destroy the ability to text and tweet and lead to mature relationships.  There have been reports of students making friends with others based solely on getting to know the other person without friending or following others online.

A video posted by the young students has gone viral, with over 40 views and has inspired some to embrace meatspace life over online, or at least pursue a healthy balance.

“If you do a Google search there’s two articles (about the video), from Johnny Rottan (he’s a ninth-grader) and from my aunt Mimi. It’s definitely gone further than we thought it might,” says student Suzy Hildebrandt and seconded by student Cory Hackman.

† Note:  I don’t know what is on Roger’s Profanisaurus beyond the single page linked there, nor am I going to look.  I’m not responsible for other people’s pages.  Just sayin’, because some of the entries on the Profanisaurus make a prudent individual think these things.

****

Canadian not allowed into the US because of her “mental illness”.  If you don’t think that this will be a likely story all over the US if we move to Obamacare, then you are truly unable to perceive reality.

****

Paul Krugman needs to have the everloving stuffing beaten out of him.  And I mean that like I’ve never meant it before.

The Years of Shame

Is it just me, or are the 9/11 commemorations oddly subdued?

Actually, I don’t think it’s me, and it’s not really that odd.

What happened after 9/11 — and I think even people on the right know this, whether they admit it or not — was deeply shameful. Te atrocity should have been a unifying event, but instead it became a wedge issue. Fake heroes like Bernie Kerik, Rudy Giuliani, and, yes, George W. Bush raced to cash in on the horror. And then the attack was used to justify an unrelated war the neocons wanted to fight, for all the wrong reasons.

A lot of other people behaved badly. How many of our professional pundits — people who should have understood very well what was happening — took the easy way out, turning a blind eye to the corruption and lending their support to the hijacking of the atrocity?

The memory of 9/11 has been irrevocably poisoned; it has become an occasion for shame. And in its heart, the nation knows it.

I’m not going to allow comments on this post, for obvious reasons.

Yes, it’s pretty obviously why you wouldn’t allow comments.  Because you are a chickenshit bastard who wants to re-write history and engage in a little self-fellatio.

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Could it be there is still hope?

A photographer saw several high school girls being incredibly abusive to some classmates on FaceBook.  Then…

She took screenshots, sent them to the girl’s parents, said she was not going to take their pictures, and refunded the $200 deposit.

Oh. My.  GOD.

Ms. McKendrick (Jennifer McKendrick), I am willing to drive to Indiana to pay you to photograph my family.

Seriously, that takes real character.  Good for you, ma’am.

I don’t want to photograph them, I don’t want them to be a part of my business image and I don’t want them on my blog. – Jennifer McKendrick

****

Well, this is sad.  Don’t read if you’re not up for a story that you’re not quite sure will have a happy ending or not.  It’s not over yet.

Someone took a child and neglected her until it snuffed her spirit right out.  Nice.

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Pride and Shame.

Could have sworn I posted this last night. Crap. Well, it is now.

I read something like this and I think “Gosh I’m proud to be a fellow American to this guy” and “Gosh I’m not worthy of his sacrifice(s)”.

Already wounded by a bullet that went through both his legs, (Sgt. 1st Class Leroy Arthur) Petry picked up an enemy grenade that landed near him and two fellow Rangers and threw it back toward the enemy, according to the Army News Service. The grenade detonated and blew off Petry’s right hand. Petry applied a tourniquet to his wound and called for help.

And you’d be completely within your rights if you thought to yourself “… and then he probably went over and kicked the bad guys’ asses before deciding whether to pass out.”

That’s one tough hombre.

****

REALLY steams my clams when you hear about the total opposite end of the spectrum, with losers like this.

Upon outing an individual who may or may not be with the CIA, a leaker scumbag said:

“I do not believe my post put anybody in physical danger,” Cook said in an email response to several questions posed by FoxNews.com. “I do not believe that people whose photographs are distributed by the White House as part of its public relations efforts have a reasonable claim to ask that no one speculate as to who they are.”

[snip]

Cook said he and his Gawker editors discussed potential safety concerns before publishing the information and photos.

“We came to the conclusion that it is highly unlikely that the White House would distribute for publication a photograph of a man whose life would be endangered if his photograph were ever published. Likewise, we decided that it is highly unlikely that such a man would publicly accompany the director of Central Intelligence, in the presence of AP photographers, to Capitol Hill to testify.”

So how is it that reporters and other liberal arts majors acting as editors are somehow more qualified to assess danger to an agent’s person (or surrounding networks) than the intelligence people themselves?

This guy is so clueless as to his uselessness that if he really understood the sheer magnitude of how abysmally worthless he is as a human being, he’d immediately commit suicide.  Most people, when they really are truly forced to face the truth – deep in their soul – have the capacity to be ashamed and find the truth to be intolerable.

****

More worthless?  Yes.  Absolutely.

NBC has issued a formal apology to more than 100 members of Congress for omitting the words “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance during a patriotic montage that aired last month.

The letter, signed by Kyle McSlarrow, president of NBC Universal, comes in response to a complaint by 107 members of Congress alleging that a montage shown during coverage of the U.S. Open golf tournament obscured America’s religious heritage.

The montage featured video of schoolchildren saying the pledge alongside images of soldiers and American flags, but did not include the phrase “under God.” It also omitted “one nation” and “indivisible.”

NBC ought to be issuing the apology to the rest of us Americans who are deeply insulted by their atheist left-wing editing of reality.

There’s an awful lot of  leftists (and minorities, if you get right down to it) who are perpetuating problems that should be behind us by seeking to divide us in the name of “freedom”.   When was the last time you saw a liberal that celebrated freedom for it’s own sake and not as a tool to control others in their pursuit of societal and economic engineering?

Also, speaking to point out that part of freedom is the freedom from (a) integrating and, (b) standing as one, is a time-honored leftists (and dare I say anti-American?) tactic.  It’s much like saying “In a free country we have the right to burn the flag”.  Actually, yes you probably do technically have that right, but it isn’t right, proper, or worthy – and no one should celebrate or tolerate your actions.

****

Source: The Patriot Post (Cartoonist Ramirez, who is the best)

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Borrowed gun, protected officer down, face charges.

This was on Fark, but goddamn it, it is real.

A fallen police officer drops his gun.  Do you pick it up to keep the six bad guys away, thus saving the officer’s life?

Apparently not in New York you don’t, unless you like having charges pressed against you because you are “unlicensed to carry a gun”.

The unidentified school safety agent grabbed the Glock that Presley dropped when he was shot, sources said, and chased the five bandits, firing back after at least one robber shot at him.

Investigators believe Presley fired his weapon seven times before the school safety agent squeezed off nine shots, a source said. The robbers fired a total of six times.

The agent, who is not licensed to carry a gun, could face charges, sources said.

Yes, yes, I know… he could have posed a risk to bystanders, but so could the off-duty cop.  Are we just never going to take a stand against the real bad guys?

Every now and then you read about a citizen that doesn’t like being bullied and beats the everlovin’ shit out of some would-be robber or rapist and some idiot cop says “Well, people shouldn’t take risks like this or they could get hurt.”  Cops that don’t support people defending themselves have missed the point:  BAD GUYS NEED TO BE AFRAID OF ANYONE THEY TRY TO VICTIMIZE.  IF THEY WERE AFRAID THAT ANYONE THEY ATTACKED MIGHT JUST KILL THEM IN SELF-DEFENSE THEY WOULD COMMIT LESS CRIME.

How can I prove that?  Easy.

99% of the time, do the bad guys go after someone bigger, meaner, and tougher looking than themselves?  No they don’t.  They go after those who can give them the best bang for the buck with the least danger to themselves.  Them as the robber thinks can’t defend themselves.  Think about it.  A person who preys on the weak and defenseless is a chickenshit with no real courage.

****

This is guaranteed Amusing Bunni bait.  If she hasn’t already grabbed it from somewhere.

And, to wash some of that saccharine sweetness away, here’s some sushi.  I found them by googling after having sushi a few weeks ago.  There are a surprising number of naked chicks with sushi laid out on their bodies.  Myself, I think it’s going to throw off the fatty tuna because the fat really starts to melt at body temp so I’d probably stick to the stuff they bring me on my plate.  (For real, a co-worker of mine ate sushi from a buffet bar once, and traumatized me horribly in doing so.)

****

Since the 2000 election I’ve thought Florida had more than it’s share of issues.  And they keep proving me right.

Florida officials are investigating an unemployment agency that spent public money to give 6,000 superhero capes to the jobless.

Workforce Central Florida spent more than $14,000 on the red capes as part of its “Cape-A-Bility Challenge” public relations campaign.

[snip]

Workforce Central Florida Director Gary J. Earl defends the program, saying it is part of a greater effort to connect with the community.

Connecting with the community is achieved by dressing adults looking for work as superheroes?  I can tell you now, the first person to darken my doorway looking for a job while wearing a cape or having ever worn a cape after the age of 12 (Halloween excluded but I will still watch them closely) will be the first person whose resume I send to the shredder.

Yes, I am a Capist bastard.  Should they start a new category of discrimination victims?

****

Alert reader mrmacs passed this on.  Hoooooo-eeeeeee!   Ho-leeeee sheeeet!

Anything that punches through a steel plate and still goes 7km at Mach 5 has my complete respect.   Do check out the video.

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Taking the Ball Home?

If ever I needed an endorsement to help me decide about Obama… this is it.  On Drudge…

GADDAFI: 'OBAMA IS FRIEND'

 

****

Is that right, all you Wisconsin Democrats who love rules when you win but when you lose you get pissy and take your ball thwaight home?

Well, you go right ahead and take that ball home but we’re gonna pop it first.

Yes I hate the dart in the foreground. I'll play with it tonight. It was late last night when I did this.

 

Two words come to mind: Finesse and Elegant.

Senate Republicans voted Tuesday to make Democrats hiding out in Illinois come back to Wisconsin to pick up their paychecks.

The Senate Committee on Organization voted on a 3-2 party line vote, with Republicans voting in favor and Democrats against, to change Senate rules so that senators who miss two consecutive floor days can no longer have their paychecks dropped automatically into their bank accounts. The vote was taken by paper ballot, which allowed Democrats to cast their votes from out-of-state.

****

I notice that the UN suddenly ditches as soon as someone figures out the latest instance of corruption.  Remember Oil for Food?

As the body count rises from the brutal repression of revolt in Libya, the United Nations is abruptly cutting some of its intimate ties with members of the ruling family of despot Muammar al-Qaddafi.

In response to a question from Fox News, a spokesman for the United Nations Development Program (UNDP), the U.N.’s flagship anti-poverty agency, revealed that his organization had just terminated the appointment of Qaddafi’s daughter Aisha as a National UNDP Goodwill Ambassador For Libya, “following the recent events.”

What are you willing to bet that the only poverty that program really addressed was the bottom line in members’ wallets?

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