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Archive for the ‘Art (homegrown)’ Category

Here’s tonight’s installment on the Girl Genius slaver wasp… last night’s cut is here.

Keep in mind:

  • That up there takes serious effort
  • It is not rendered in Blender3D yet – what you see there is the renderer in My Favorite Modeling Software (MFMS) – it is nice but not the final product
  • The “white” gauge is not white per-se, it is saturated by the renderer’s light that is pretty much behind the scene camera.  I don’t care about it enough to change it at the moment
  • It is too shiny – I will add dirt and bump-maps to it
  • It has no lights yet – those require lamps and radiosity
  • It has no gauge decals yet – that might be tricky for me

So – thoughts?  I’m not fishing for compliments – I’m asking for input – there is a difference.

I will say this – this exercise has dramatically increased my respect for the Prof’s Foglio and Cheyenne in their work on GG.  It was high to begin with but this somehow amplifies it.

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Before zipping on down to the original topic of the post, cbullitt over at SOYLENT GREEN has plugged a product for me! And I’m happy that he’s happy with it, too.

You should think of it as a congratulatory gift mug for his 1,000,000th blog hit a week or so ago.

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Aggie over at Hookers and Booze put up a little quiz that she got from elsewhere (I won’t list the tree of dispersal beyond that other than to say she got it from iOWT).  It’s not a new quiz but it is an interesting quiz.

I lie at top dead center and wobble to the right a hair on the censorship issue, mainly because I believe some types of speech are never defensible as “free speech”.  Calling for the injury of others, harassment, exploitation of kids, etc., are things I can’t condone and never will.

Mainly I believe most all laws should be kept local, but obviously there are some exceptions.  People are a whole lot more likely to keep BS to a minimum if they have to sink, swim, or wallow in their own filth.

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Speaking of spoilage and filth, here’s a handy little posting about the facts of spoilage and pathogen-plagued foodstuff.  Interesting stuff that I never knew.   Is it all true?  I don’t know.  It passes my first sniff test, though.

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Did I post this yet?  I cannot recall where it came from other than through a google surf session.  I think it is a lemur of some kind but it’s all saccharine-ly sweet and all.  Gotta be a lemur or some critter in that area of the genetic tree – lookit the eyes.

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The Dude turned 40 today so Cruel Wife and I – along with four or five other couples – joined him and his wife celebrating his birthday.  It was some good food but by far was the appetizer – fried calamari.  It was perfect.  Not a hint of a rubber band within 3000 miles.   The jambalaya wasn’t sitting well with me and CW’s crab cakes and stuffed flounder were OK but I’ll be honest, the crab cakes weren’t crispy-cakey enough to be crab cakes.  Oh well, it was all fresh, however, and that counts for so very much.

Congratulations to SOYLENT GREEN for the one-millionth visitor!   WARNING, IT IS (not, not, not) NSFW – DON’T GO THERE ON COMPANY TIMEWhups, neither is the graphic below, if you get right down to it.  I am making an exception here.  SOYLENT is well known for a few things, some of which are NSFW, some of which are science-ey, and other which are anti-AGW – specifically he likes to trash global warmalarmists who would love to trash anyone who gets in the way of their power grab.  I support him in that.

I do graphics for cbullitt sometimes and he said “Lemur, I’ve come close to 1 million times, and I need a graphic to make it pop.”   Well, he didn’t word it just like that but the idea was there.  So there’s the graphic I did for him, made up of a collage of other graphics I’ve done when he’s come up with an interesting notion.  This was a fun one because it just came to me how to do it – I was clueless for quite a few hours – and the ideas just gushed forth.

A million of anything is a lot...

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Dr. Lemur’s Steampunk Chocolate Geared for Women is now available on Zazzle.  It was designed to be smaller but if you want a larger version posted let me know.   Same goes for the matte finish – if you want the shiny stock (it’s cheaper) – let me know.  Some may prefer coffee cups, and you can find that option here.

And yes, I’m shamelessly plugging this.  I’m pretty pleased with it and it took some serious effort.

By the way – it might take a little time to filter through the Zazzle approval process (hour or so).

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This isn’t the final draft – you can tell because of the watermark that says “Not Final Draft” and the shplash of hot-pink in the lower right.  I would never release a final draft with a shplash of hot pink in the lower right.

(Yes, I said “shplash”)

But it gives you an opportunity to critique and make suggestions.  I’m all ears to things that could make it better.

Doesn’t the post title “Chocolate for Women” just sound absurd?  OF COURSE it is for women.  Heaven help you if you stand in the way.

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My pet peeve of the hour?  An article I read a few days ago.  It involves the inability of the news media to understand the difference between “getting the shit shocked out of you” and “electrocuted”.

A man was electrocuted Sunday night in Madison County while, police suspect, he was attempting to steal copper wire.

Three witnesses stated they were driving in Alton, Ill., when they saw the man screaming for help, badly burned and bleeding. Emergency medical personnel and police responded, and the man was transported to Alton Memorial Hospital before being airlifted to a St. Louis area hospital.

He did not die.  Therefore, he was not electrocuted.  Get a dictionary you idiot illiterate english/communications majors.

He may have died later (no clue given in the article) of burns or complications stemming from gross stupidity but he wasn’t killed by the electricity.

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A full week after this incident and I’m only just now able to comment on it in language that doesn’t involve me chewing on my tongue and frothing at the mouth.  Close, but I can get by now.

A Detroit father said agents with the Transportation Security Administration singled out his special-needs son for a pat-down while the family was headed to Disney World, MyFoxDetroit.com reported, an incident that the TSA admitted was a “case of bad judgment.”

David Mandy said agents at Detroit Metro Airport took his son Drew, 29, and asked him about the padding underneath his pants, which turned out to be adult diapers. Drew, who is severely mentally disabled, had trouble understanding the agents’ orders because his family said he has the mental capacity of a 2-year-old.

When the father tried to intervene and explain Drew’s disability, he said the two agents said, “Please, sir, we know what we’re doing.”

The agents confiscated a six-inch plastic hammer, something Drew had carried with him for 20 years for comfort. Agents called it a security threat, his father said, adding that they tapped the wall with it and said, “See, it’s hard. It could be used as a weapon.

The family was told they’d have to ship the hammer if they wanted to keep it, David Mandy said.

“I understand they’re trying to keep people safe,” Mandy said told MyFoxDetroit.com. “But come on, does he look like a terrorist?”

In a statement to FoxNews.com, the TSA said it’s reviewing the incident but early findings indicate this was an “isolated case of bad judgment.The TSA reached out to the Mandy family to apologize and said the man’s toy hammer should have never been confiscated.

“Isolated” case of bad judgement?  It sounds like only the latest in a long line of cataclysmically bad intrusions on American’s rights in the name of being fair to a bunch of muslim terrorists.

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Found this on Fark.  Cruel Wife cringed and went “oooh oooh oooh” in disgust as I read it to her.

She said “That doesn’t bother you?”

I told her that the only thing that kept me from creeping out was the outside possibility that an individual with actual prostate issues might have had a legitimate use but I didn’t think about the main uses that it was probably intended for.

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This is the latest in a batch of steampunk graphics and will go on Zazzle when it is done.  It’s nowhere even close to being finished.  But finally I hit on the right combination of exposure, contrast, emphasis, composition – and something that was just wrong for so long became very very right in my mind.  I am not ordinarily extremely happy with a graphic but the foil matched up with the paper so well that I did a double-take – I thought I had somehow cut a layer out of the foil and accidentally blended it with the paper.

Advert text will read something like this:

What governs your life?
Something missing?
Take a spin with
Dr. Lemur’s Chocolate – Geared for women.

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This one is awful… bad p-shop job.  Kinda difficult one for me, too.  Not sure why.  Must just be tired.

But by Jove, you get the idea, right?  I mean, what self-respecting man or woman would want to be seen moving tons of stuff with a hoe like that?   Besides veeshir, of course who is so comfortable with his ?metrosexuality? that he’s fine with snuffing people out with girlie tools.

Ok, I can buy that.

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Working on Tools that Must Not be Suffered to Live at the moment.

But first a quick rant…

I’ve had Norton (AV) bitching at me every half hour about files that I know are darned well infected but they are safe where I can see ‘em.  It’s like herpes except your computer is never going to have outbreaks.

So it kept annoying me.  And finally I decided to do something about it.  One-click assistance!  It scans your system!  It connects you!  And there’s this pic of some guy named Nathan!  He’s obviously not from India.

So I spent a few minutes writing and kept getting sort of normal answers but just odd enough that I thought “This guy lives in his mom’s basement, has never touched boobies, and probably doesn’t look anything like the picture plastered on this web-page”.   But still, putting a face on the name was a nice touch, I thought.

And then, after the oddest answer yet from the idiot, then came the Twilight Zone moment where in fine print (4pt font) right below Nathan’s picture… were the words “Virtual Assistant”.

I sent a verynastygram to Norton, explaining how (a) It Pissed Me Off, (b) it accomplished nothing in helping me fix my problem, and (c) It Pissed Me Off.   I should bill them for my time.

Graphics coming soon.  Check back later.

Here you go… horrific tool #1… it should not be suffered to live.  That’s one for you, Aggie.

I was asking Cruel Wife for some ideas.  I said “Ok, think of a really manly tool that could be made horrific by applying My Pretty Pony to it.”

CW:  A machete?

LK:  Oooh, good one!

LK:  Perhaps Care Bears… there’s thousands of them, right?  Strung-Out Bear, Hatchet Bear, and… hmmm… Egregious Bear

CW:  A hammer?

LK:  I was thinking of a nail gun but that might be kind of complicated.

CW:  What about a BBQ?

LK:  Hey!  You know, it’s all fun and games until you start messing with things that shouldn’t be messed with.  That wasn’t funny.  Not at all.

CW:  Oooh!  Someone is sensitive!

LK:  Some things you shouldn’t mess with.  That is one of them.

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I need only pass on to you the last paragraph and you will have a full incomplete vision of the entire story.

Investigating officers determined the man had taken the steamroller for a joyride and lost control. The steamroller tipped over on him. The man had been drinking, police say.

Emergency surgery, serious leg injury, pinned, blah blah blah…

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The story is days old now, a bit stale as my proof-reader/editor might say, but Go Topless should be encouraged more (for qualifying individuals).   Apparently there’s a big to-do in August.

Author’s note:  I have children.  I could in no way actually condone this sort of behavior publicly.  Nope, can’t support it.

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Well, it is a first crack I started playing with on Saturday.

“Meh.” captures my feelings so far.  Way less than “meh,” really.  It’s a 3-D render that leaves a lot to be desired for many reasons obvious to render-rats, p-shoppers, and critics alike.

I’ll keep plinking at it.

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Alert reader The Dude (aka Wilson) informed me of some global coordinates to put into Google Maps:

30.561265,-92.021019          

http://www.redditpics.com/wow-coordinates-on-google-maps-30561265-92021,105658/

In some states (commie-leaning American states, sadly) I could get sued by someone who found that image upsetting to their snowflake psyche, but I don’t live in one of those states (yet).  So there you go.

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Bumper stickers for fun.  Buy a truckload and put my Little Lemurs through college…

Working on a Jolokia pepper t-shirt and mug for Curtal Friar at Fountain Abbey.   It must somehow incorporate steel balls and a ghost pepper – I think I know what I want to do with that imagery…

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The things you find on Fark.  Man fakes severe brain injury to get nurse to change his adult diapers.  No, I don’t have a thing for infantile adults wearing diapers, I’m just repulsed by them.

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Why yes, yes I do want to be tracked even more heavily by my smartphone, data harvesting combines, and my government.  Hotels may use smartphones as keys.

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Recently it was posed to me that perhaps I.C. Weiner made a mistake and since he admitted that he committed creepery, lied, and then owned up to it (after being caught) perhaps he should be given credit for that at least.

It took me a while to ponder on it and came to the conclusion that no, he shouldn’t be given another chance, not at all.

Why?

Because every single adult has lied as a kid, got caught, got punished, and yes, we do know right from wrong.  That lesson is learned – whether or not someone chooses to live by it.  As an adult there’s no excuse and you should face consequences.  He’s 46 freakin’ years old.  That’s old enough to know right and wrong and to be judged accordingly.

Now?  Why now, Weiner is a child predator, too!   What do you want to bet now his wife ditches him?

And somehow, Mrs. Righteous Grandmother declines to denounce the now-detumescent Weiner.  She’s a real ball of fire, that swamp-drainer.

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According to Tennessee law, if you are upset by any imagery I post, you can sue me.

For that and several other reasons, I hate Tennessee.

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Jeez, son… you got no reason to kill yourself… you’ve got your whole life ahead of y… nevermind.

Gosh, sucks to be you on so many levels.

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Final Fantasy VII was an excellent game.  I never imagined Tifa looking like this, though.  Not that I disapprove.

Below that… Power Girl?  I am wondering where she was when I was twelve.  Probably the same place Agatha in Girl Genius was – not in my possession.  Oh well, I had Kathy Smith on a poster in my room.

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Janet Napolitano arguing that there’s no logic in profiling muslim men under the age of 35.  Oh, ok then, well… what the hell did she say?

“You’re not using good logic there. You’ve got to use actual intelligence that you received. And, so, you might — all you’ve given me is a kind of status. You have not given me a technique for tactic or behavior. Something that would suggest somebody is not Muslim, but Islamic, that has actually moved into the category of violent extremists,” Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said at a forum on U.S. security and preventing terrorist attacks.

“We have ways to make some of those cuts. And they involve the intel that comes in, the analysis that goes on. For example, we often times, for travelers entering the United States, we won’t not do what is called a secondary inspection just because they are a 35-year- old male who appears to be Muslim, whatever that means. But we know from intelligence that if they have a certain travel pattern over a certain period of time, that should cause us to ask some more significant questions than if we don’t.”

- Janet Napolitano on whether we profile or not, maybe, whatever that means

Let’s see – she wanders before she finally doesn’t make a point.   Second paragraph – non-sequitur, a double negative, and still doesn’t make a coherent statement.  I feel much safer-er now.  If she handles security like she speaks, stupid things like groping and searching old ladies and children are going to start happening.

Oops.

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Update 2: 

I missed this but I found out from the wife…  Girlhead saw a few of the older vets in the Memorial Day parade and asked Cruel Wife “Mom, were those guys in the Army?”

“Well, they were in the Armed Services, all vets were.”

She said “Can I go thank them?”

“You sure can – let’s go.”

And so she did – walked up to one of them and said “Thank you.”

He smiled and said “You’re welcome.”

I would have said something deep and profound to Cruel Wife about that but at that moment something really huge flew in my eye.

Update:

My five year old son, missing all his front teeth as part of the “Planned Obsolescence of Childhood Schedule” (AKA “POCS” or just pronounced POX) just ran in and said lispingly “Girlhead is trying to give me a Texas Wedgie!”

I goggled at him.  “Not an atomic wedgie but… A… A… A Texas Wedgie?  That sounds like a really big wedgie!”

He said “Yeah!” and then he ran away.

Aggie, or some other Texas person… what is a Texas Wedgie?

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After a few discussions about the age that women claim to be I’ve done a bit of research.

This is an area of investigation fraught with peril and is like tapdancing in a minefield full of twisted metal, broken glass, angry rabid rodents, and… well… mines.

But for the sake of science I will publish my conclusions.  Men!  Who will stand with me?  Men?

Hang on, I must catch up with the others, for I am their leader.

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Thank you Fark, for recognizing this for what it really is:  NOT A CATASTROPHE THAT NEEDS FIXING.

Report: Over a third of students entering college need remedial help

Fark’s headline?

Report shows over a third of incoming college students need remedial help. Back in subby’s day, they used to say those people weren’t college material, not treat them like snowflakes and patronize them

At what point do you finally say “No the system didn’t fail the children, perhaps they just aren’t cut out for it”?

Put another way:  Not everyone is cut out to be an astronaut, a doctor, or a SEAL.  Suck on that Disney.

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Wow.  Someone in Missouri is on the lookout for the exploited strippers.

But Dick Bryant, a lawyer for Kansas City’s adult entertainment industry, said the clubs are following the law, in part because he claimed the dancers only appear to be topless. The exposed breasts, he said, are actually covered by a thin layer of opaque latex.

“Once they’re covered, none of the rest of the law applies,” Bryant argued.

Remember Blade Runner?

Deckard:    Excuse me, Miss Salomé, can I talk to you for a minute? I’m from the American Federation of Variety Artists.
Zhora:       Oh, yeah?
Deckard:    I’m not here to make you join. No ma’am. That’s not my department. Actually, uh. I’m from the, uh, Confidential Committee on Moral Abuses.
Zhora:        Committee of Moral Abuses?
Deckard:    Yes, ma’am. There’s been some reports that the management has been taking liberties with the artists in this place.
Zhora:        I don’t know nothing about it.
Deckard:    Have you felt yourself to be exploited in any way?
Zhora:        How do you mean, exploited?
Deckard:    Well, like to get this job. I mean, did you do, or- or were you asked to do anything lewd or unsavory or otherwise, uh, repulsive to your person, huh?
Zhora:        Ha. Are you for real?
Deckard:    Oh yeah. I’d like to check your dressing room if I may.
Zhora:         For what?
Deckard:    For, uh, for holes.
Zhora:         Holes?
Deckard:    You’d be surprised what a guy’d go through to get a glimpse of a beautiful body.
Zhora:        No, I wouldn’t.
Deckard:    Little, uh, dirty holes they uh, drill in the wall so they can watch a lady undress. — Is this a real snake?
Zhora:        Of course it’s not real. Do you think I’d be working in a place like this if I could afford a real snake? — So if somebody does try to exploit me, who do I go to about it?
Deckard:    Me.
Zhora:        You’re a dedicated man.

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Before we go into losers and art, here is a heartfelt thank you to all veterans for allowing those of us who haven’t served to have the wonderful country we do.

That’s the long and the short of it.  Thank you.

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The man says he’s addicted to sausages.

Drug addicts crave their fix, and it’s the same for me – except my drug is a banger.   – Sausage wanker David Harding

Well, what the hell man isn’t?

But I’ll tell you this:  We don’t run about whining about it and wasting money on psychotherapy and hypnosis in order to stop.

We just die ten years earlier than our spouses and count it a fair bargain.

Real men look down upon sad sacks like this and wonder if stem cells will allow them to someday grow this guy a spine in a petri dish.

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I’m glad that people have liked the Coelacanth Eco-dollars Coffee Mug.  It makes me glad when someone drinks coffee with an endangered critter.  There are more styles (denominations) of coffee cups to be had, so feel free to see if there’s something you like or suggest a different one.

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More later…

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Soylent wanted a graphic and he got the Iron Penis Award.

After listening to a number of Loyal Readers (allow me my illusions, please) such as B.C.,  I figured there should be a balancing un-coveted award that could be given to as many people as desired – people who deserved to be heralded as limp phallises.

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