Blogging took a backseat I’m afraid. Had a rough few weeks with last night being the crowning touch. I’m only blogging now because I’ve actually felt guilty about not posting anything in days. I will go back to bed shortly.
Making sammiches for the kids, I turned my head ever so slightly (thinking of the next inane thing to say to Cruel Wife), and hit the floor.
You have heard me say that there’s pain and then there’s pain. I am used to vanilla pain. I’m not used to tear-your-spine-out-with-pliers-bit-by-bit-and-replace-it-with-molten-silver pain or badgers-just-chewed-out–my-hernia-and-appendix-and-are-working-on-my-liver pain. The amount you can actually do when hit by it sounds very disturbingly like what I’m told being tasered is like. You can’t *do* anything other than drop like a rock. That’s it. Your choices are to (a) drop like a rock, or (b) drop like a rock.
Some time passed before I stopped scrabbling my feet along the floor and punishing the front of the stove. Not sure how long. Cruel Wife just stood there in horror because if she did the wrong thing it could make things worse and she wasn’t really sure what the right thing was, either. Well, that makes two of us, because I didn’t know either.
After some time I grabbed the handle of the fridge and scrabbled along the stove and counter and hauled myself up. Moved glacially slow to my chair and sat down.
It’s 22 hours later (roughly) and not much has changed. I called CW a bit ago to see if that was her that called earlier when I couldn’t make it to the phone. She said “How you doing?” She KNEW what I was going to say:
Don’t worry about me. I’ve never felt better.
Easier to say that than for the millionth time “I kinda feel like donkey shiat”.
Back to bed.
Addendum: NO, I’m not looking for “Sorry” or “Get Well” comments. I was simply feeling guilty for not posting and then saying “WTF am I feeling guilty about? There’s a reason dammit!” and then thinking “Geez, grow some, you puke” as I was writing all this out but figured I’d at least say something anyway so you didn’t feel like I was (God forbid) stopping blogging or something dire like that. “Man up!” I said to myself as I kicked my own ass silly. And then hit “Post” anyway. It’s complicated.
****
Curtal, you are a better man than I…
Lemur King's Folly 
In what way am I a better man?
You ate some bleedin’ Jolokias and scoffed at them, that’s why.
The Dude won’t even touch ’em after I told my story.
No one could sleep in your house because of the clanking sound of your steel balls whenever you shifted. (That’s a compliment, son.)
**bows gracefully**
Ha!
Thanks for the compliment.
Truthfully, though, no one in my house slept well that night because of the bhut jolokia generated gas I had that night.
I slept like a baby, though.
😀
P.S. you ever think of making a t-shirt along the lines of “I ate a bhut jolokia and lived to tell about it”? Or something along those lines. Maybe with a pic of the pepper.
That is an excellent idea…
Workin’ on it!
Don’t forget the forged steel balls…
Oh, and here’s hoping you get to feeling better soon.
We come from different philosophic and religious backgrounds, I think, but for what it’s worth, I’ll remember ya in my prayers.
Actually, a whole lot less different than you’d think unless you worship roosters or something. 🙂
Think of me as “House” but with an awesome family and a few more social skills – some of them even good ones. I’ve even got more friends than just Wilson. And a blog. With readers. Maybe as many as seventeen of ’em.
lol, no, no worshipping roosters. Although I have some distant cousins way back south that go to church and dance around while holding rattlesnakes.
I don’t hold with any of that. Those guys are certifiable, but even if they weren’t, no way am I doing anything with a snake except kill the damned thing before it has a chance to strike at me.
Never met a snake I didn’t hate from the get-go.
Oh man, not this crap again! 😦 Feel better soon buddy.
Not so much again as still, man… still.
It may be as simple as burning nerves out again. I hope it is that rather than something like a bone-carving session.
Reminds me… your back doing better?
Some stiffness & soreness in the morning but it loosens up after awhile. No biggee. Prayers and well-wishes headed your way for relief.
For the record, LK hit the floor for approximately 30 seconds before he started trying to move. Thirty long, millenium-spanning seconds.
That long?
Subjectively (from my POV) it lasted anywhere from 5 seconds to 4-5 years.
My prayers and well wishes for you, LK, and for CW as well.
And don’t ever feel the need to post something if you are feeling badly. Give CW the keys and she’ll let us know 😉
Are you kidding? Let a woman DRIVE MY BLOG?
We never shoulda given them the vote, or let them drive cars, or do the whole ERA thing – look at where it got us! Just look at it!
If CW thought I meant a word of that outburst above I’d be DOA at the morgue before the day was out.
If she got the keys to my blog, why then she could read what I wrote. That would be bad.
Reminds me of the joke…
Yes, I know the blonde remark may put me on the floater list at the morgue sometime soon. But you can’t possibly be blonde because you yourself refer to yourself as ‘spic.
Really, thanks for the well-wishes. I’m juuuust about to the point where calling a doc is something I can contemplate. I do not want to do so.
A blonde (such as yourself, Aggie)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Thanks, I needed the laugh 😀
The imagery (sound-ergy?) of some Good Worthies steel balls clanking together softly as they shift position in the night is gonna bother me for a loooonnnggg time.
And I’m gonna blame you, LK.
Every time I hear two metal objects clink together I’m gonna think of that.
No, wait!
Hmmmmm…..
I need to find two big ball bearings and a cloth sack before next time I spend the night somewhere with friends or fambly.
And then they will blame you, too, LK. 🙂
And you can call the cloth sack with said metal spheres your “Military Bearing”…
LK, if it’ll help, we’ll get you a halo to stop you from turning your head and pinching those nerves.
I’m guessing that about now, you are getting a little shaky about moving your head, like to “Check 6” before changing lanes while driving. Speaking of which…
Yes, I am a bit gun-shy about sudden movements. Luckily (I guess) in traffic instinct takes over and I don’t skimp on checking my blind spots no matter what condition the neck. Whole body turn if possible, whip-look otherwise.